


Bright Orange

by An_Error_has_occured



Category: Naruto
Genre: But hopefully a different kind, Flagrant amounts of stupidity, Gen, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-08-01 08:00:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 72,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16280699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Error_has_occured/pseuds/An_Error_has_occured
Summary: I was never much like Naruto Uzumaki. Where he was reckless, I was cautious. Where he was loud, I was quiet. Where he was a hero, I was...decidedly not. So what cosmic entity thought it would be a wise idea to pluck me up and put me in Naruto Uzumaki's body?





	1. Chapter 1

Bright Orange

Chapter 01: Strange New World

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My peaceful sleep was disturbed by the sudden feeling of something going very wrong. It was the kind of thing that niggled around at the edges of your dreams, forcing you to wake up and deal with it before you could continue sleeping.

I forcefully brought myself awake, grumbling to myself and stumbled out of bed. I probably forgot to lock the door or something…

I only made it a few steps before slamming my foot into a piece of furniture, sending me sprawling onto the floor and, from the sound of it, crushing something Styrofoam underneath me.

I lay groaning on the ground, now fully awake. My foot was throbbing with pain, my back was soaked in some sort of liquid from what I had landed on, and worst of all, now that I was actually looking around, I realized I didn't know where exactly I was.

Sunlight pooled in the room from a window thick with dust, a line of little plants on the window sill drinking in the rays happily. Everything that I could see was in a state of disorder, with things arranged with no real order in mind, and from what I could see from my position on the ground, whoever lived here absolutely lived off cup ramen.

Which was probably what was soaking into my shirt right now. Gross.

Trying not to make anymore noise, I slowly got up, wincing as the crumpled cups I had landed on groaned underneath my weight. I pulled myself to my feet and looked over at the bed, fully expecting to have to apologize to my latest bed-partner for waking her up after what was clearly a hard night of partying for us both.

But there was no one to apologize to. The bed, which was actually more of a mattress on the ground, was small enough that only one person could sleep on it to. Apparently I had not gotten lucky last night.

.

.

.

Shit, had I broken into someone's house last night?! I had to have gotten _really_ drunk for that to have happened. Again.

While I was busy wondering about whether or not I had just committed a felony, the odd feeling at the back of my mind that had woken me up in the first place continued to demand my attention. I frowned and looked around the room more closely.

It was…strange. Things were arranged in a way that seemed subtly off in a way that couldn't be attributed to merely awful organizing skills and neglected cleaning. Maybe I was in a foreign exchange student's apartment? It would fit with the odd style of decorating and bed on the ground, I supposed.

The feeling didn't go away, but I did my best to shrug it off. I should at least find my phone and call my friends, see if they knew what happened last night. I tried to dig it out of my pocket, but rather than finding my phone, I found myself _wearing a different pair of pants than I remembered wearing._

I normally thought of myself as a calm and rational man, despite all the evidence to the contrary. However, when I found myself in an unfamiliar place, after not knowing how I got there, wearing different clothing…I may have started to panic.

Or more accurately, I immediately ran out of the apartment that I was in, barely managing to avoid screaming at the top of my lungs. I managed to avoid kicking any more furniture and wretched open the door, sprinting outside.

That, however, is when I slammed into a wall and fell to the ground once again, dazed.

My mind was awhirl, drunk on panic and seizing every scrap of data possible to figure out what had happened to me. Given how easily I had just exited the apartment, I hadn't been kidnapped, but that just meant that I had done this to myself and somehow not remembered it.

The only theory that made sense to me now was that I had gotten _monumentally_ drunk the previous night, drunk enough to try some sort of drug that left me unable to even recall a loose recollection of last night's events. It would also explain why my running seemed far faster than I recalled it: I was still high, and it was affecting my perception, as well as my odd lack of a hangover.

Despite all that, the faint presence at the back of my mind was now screaming at me, screaming at me to disregard the cool breeze that was far too nice for the weather I was used to, and ignore the absent humming of cars beneath my feet that had been present all my life, it commanded me to simply _look at myself._

I once again pulled myself to my feet and looked down at my body.

.

.

.

The ground was a lot closer to my eyes than I had ever recalled it being.

The ground began swimming beneath my feet and panic broke in the face of sheer, unavoidable impossibility. My limbs were short and lacked any of the definition of adolescence. My hands were pink, unmarked by callouses, with nails slightly overgrown in a way I would never have allowed them to grow. This was not my body.

I re-entered the apartment in a haze, doing an accurate impression of a junky that was fascinated with his hands. How was this even possible? Had I undergone some sort of weird abduction/surgery to swap my brain with a child's'?

Stumbling over practically everything in my path, I finally found the bathroom, and shakily looked in the mirror. I don't know what I was hoping for, but it wasn't this.

A soft, round face greeted me, blue eyes staring blankly back at me. His hair was a mop of blonde spikes hidden underneath an odd sleeping cap, and there were three whisker-like dark lines on each cheek.

It was a face that I knew well. And as opposed to increasing my panic, or furthering my confusion, I couldn't stop a smile of blessed relief slide across my face.

"Oh, thank _god._ "

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**Hello everyone! Phantom Prince again. So, I was about five chapters into several stories and was getting more and more frustrated, because I wanted to give my characters all of this information that I** _**knew** _ **would help them, and was common knowledge for me, but would be completely out of place for the character.**

**So I thought…why not make that character himself me?**

**I disregarded that thought, because I had never read a good Self-Insert story. That is until I started reading the Subtle Knife, a Worm/Young Justice crossover SI, as well as The Spider, a SI Spiderman fanfic, and I was inspired to do one myself.**

**Which brings me to Bright Orange, my latest attempt to actually write a good fanfiction. My SI will have many of the flaws that define who I am, but hopefully his journey will be interesting.**


	2. Chapter 2

Bright Orange

Chapter 02: Investigations

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I made my way around Naruto's apartment, slowly sorting through things and stuffing ramen cups into the garbage, which quickly filled it to the brim before any end of the trash was in sight. Now that I knew that the apartment belonged to a literal 12-year old, the mess made more sense. At least there didn't seem to be too many bugs about.

As I cleaned, my mind swirled around aimlessly. It was certainly a relief to know that I had simply been inserted into the Naruto Universe as opposed to being kidnapped or something, but it didn't really explain what I was supposed to _do._ There wasn't really anything to fix in Naruto canon that I could remember, and I hadn't made a wish upon a star to be a hero or anything.

So what was I going to do with this opportunity?

The sun was high in the sky before I was satisfied with my progress. The floor wasn't sparkling, but it was mostly clear, and all of the garbage I could find was stuffed in a half-dozen garbage bags. It looked like a dorm room tended to by a well-meaning but lazy freshman; clean, but not too clean.

Along the way, I had found Naruto's signature orange jumpsuit, or rather, a set of them, thrown all over the floor with reckless abandon. With no other choice, I had changed into the orange monstrosity. I had also found Naruto's green goggles sitting beside his bed rather than a headband, meaning that I had been dropped into this body before the Genin exam.

I regarded myself in the mirror and marveled. It was undoubtedly Naruto Uzumaki (Namikaze?), but it was weird actually _looking_ at him like a person. I knew that all anime characters were drawn with simple, often exaggerated features, but he didn't look like an anime character to me. But he also didn't look like someone who was just dressed in Naruto cosplay either.

I shook my head, and the blonde in the mirror did the same. Yeah, that was going to take some getting used to.

Or would it? Who was to say that I would be here for that long? Alright, enough procrastinating! I needed to find out what sort of situation I was in.

Closing my eyes, I tried to reach back in my memories to see if Naruto's memories had become integrated with mine. I was far older, if we had somehow merged then it was no wonder that my mind would be the dominant personality.

After several seconds, I got nothing. I suppose that ruled out the mind-meld option. Unfortunately, that was the only situation that I could actually test. I knew that souls in the Naruto Universe existed, even if I personally was iffy on the subject, so that could mean that my soul had found its way into Naruto's body.

But that brought up the question…where had Naruto's soul gone? Had my soul invaded this body and crushed his into nothingness?

A shiver worked its way up my spine at that thought, and I quickly chose to take that as the worst-case scenario. I didn't want to accidently be a child murderer.

That left other possibilities, though they were less likely. I could be some weird merge between Kurama and Naruto. The minds of a Tailed Beast and human were probably different enough that the result would be exact sort of fucked up person to think his whole world was actually an anime. I mean, just look at Deadpool.

My lips pulled itself into a frown. That possibility also was not very pleasant, and I couldn't exactly test it unless some canon events went the right way, so I put that out of my mind as well.

The third option was that some rogue god or god-like entity had decided to fuck both with me and with the Naruto Universe by pulling this off. I don't remember pissing off any gods, but then again I hadn't done anything remarkably pious for a while.

"Gah…" There was already pressure pounding at my temples, and I hadn't even covered the most esoteric explanations. Grimacing, I returned to the bathroom to check if Naruto had stocked up on any pain medications.

He hadn't.

"Motherfucker." I muttered to myself. Making a quick decision, I grabbed Naruto's goggles and headed out the door, determined to look around. I was in the Hidden Leaf Village, god damnit, and I was going to make the most of it!

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Something you didn't get from watching anime was a sense of scale. I had always sort of thought that the Leaf Village was a small town, based on the Naruto video games I had played, so that one could sprint from one end to the other in ten or twenty minutes.

The truth of the matter was that the Hidden Leaf Village was a pretty major metropolis.

No, it didn't have anything on New York, and the buildings were tiny compared to the skyscrapers I had grown up with, so the population density wasn't comparable to any modern-day cities, but they had a respectable population size, and buildings of all different kinds. It was also of surpassing natural beauty; trees large and small were just as common as buildings themselves, and though the forest proper was relegated to the outskirts of the village, it still gave the whole place a very natural, peaceful vibe. This was further helped by the temperate weather and occasional breezes.

My instinctive tourist instincts tried to kick in and make my head swivel from side to side as I took in the sights, but I suppressed it as best as I could. I didn't want to draw any undue attention to myself. Well, anymore than I already did by wearing a bright orange jumpsuit.

Unfortunately, I was unable to properly enjoy the sights. The reason for this was simple; the people were not nearly as pleasant as the surroundings.

No one was actively throwing rocks at me, or even mean glances for that matter, but it was easy to tell when someone spotted me. A housewife who was chatting with her neighbor while watering her plants would suddenly turn away, and the neighbor's expression would turn blank as she turned away as well.

Yeesh, well fuck you too, lady.

My righteous indignation held strong as I continued to walk calmly through the village, but it definitely took the joy out of taking a simple walk around. And I was a grown ass man who actually knew why they disliked me! It may not be physically beating someone, but I could easily see how Naruto could become pretty fucked up by this sort of thing.

I had picked a random direction to start walking in, but I kept finding myself walking towards the Hokage Tower, easily the tallest structure around if one didn't count the Hokage Monument. Looking at the building, I was reminded that currently the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was still alive.

That thought also did not help improve my mood. Why? Well, simply put, I wasn't sure if I should save him.

I hoped it didn't make me a monster, but I didn't really see the point in changing the timeline so that Hiruzen didn't die. To be able to even attempt it, I would have to be able to take on not only Orochimaru, but also zombie versions of the first and second Hokages. And to top it off, the man was very old, and smoked every day. He would likely die in a few years anyway. Preventing his death would also delay Tsunade's return to the village, and that would set off a whole tsunami of butterflies.

I shook my head again, annoyed with myself for lapsing into thinking about the future. I had specifically done this to avoid thinking about the implications of my situation. Besides, things had worked out alright in canon, so if I wanted to ensure the most amount of good for this world, I should just stick as close to the script as possible.

" _There_ you are!" A sudden voice cut through my heavy thoughts, and I could somehow tell that it was aimed at me. The voice wasn't familiar, and yet a chill ran up my spine. I had a feeling who that voice belonged to. I turned around and let a victorious smile grow on my face, even as a cold chill worked its way through my chest.

"Aha! I found you, Sensei!" I shouted back, pointing a finger back at him. And it was indeed Iruka Umino, in all his scar-faced, pineapple haired glory. Just like with Naruto, it was odd seeing him as a person. Especially since he seemed so…tall.

But then again, I was now a veritable midget.

"Idiot, _I_ found _you!_ " The chunnin shouted, jumping down off of a roof on the opposite street and landing right in front of me. Damn that was impressive. He didn't even have to do a superhero landing.

Also, apparently while I was having my existential crises, I was supposed to have gone to class. Shit, and I couldn't just meekly head back with him, Naruto was too stubborn for that, and I didn't want to tip anyone off that something was off. I didn't want to earn a session with Ibiki so they could extract future knowledge from me.

I made a puzzled expression and tilted my head to the side, the very picture of childish innocence. "Sensei, what are you talking about? I've been looking for you for hours!" I waved my arms in the air for extra emphasis.

"That doesn't-" Iruka paused, looking confused. "What?"

"Yeah! I came to the Academy and you weren't there, so I went looking for you! I was worried you had gotten hurt on a mission fighting bad guys." To really sell it, I let my lower lip tremble slightly and then suddenly rushed the man, throwing my arms around him. "I'm so glad that you're safe!"

It was hard to keep myself from snickering as Iruka awkwardly patted me on the back. "It's okay, Naruto, I'm fine." He soothed gently. "Let's just…get back to class."

I pulled away and sniffled slightly. "Are you sure, Sensei? I just through an emotional experience, I might need to head home and recover…"

"Yes." The taller man said firmly, walking off and forcing me to keep pace with him as if I knew where we were going. For a moment, we walked in companionable silence. Then… "Out of curiosity, when did you come to school? I'm normally there pretty early."

"Oh, uh…About two-ish?" I offered, plastering a nervous grin on my face. Iruka stopped walking, and there was a completely calm look on his face, his eyes closed and mouth set in a firm line.

"So you came to the Academy before the sun even rose, couldn't find me, and took this to mean that you could just wander around the Village looking for me?" I could see a thick vein on his forehead begin to throb, and my fake nervousness became a bit more real.

"Uh…out of concern for you! You know, they say that a responsible ninja is supposed to be able to work early in the morning, and you're the most responsible ninja that I know, so I figured that you would be there that early…"

As I babbled, the vein on Iruka's forehead began to pulse faster and faster, to the point I was sure it was going to burst. Despite that, his calm expression didn't waver.

"Naruto…" He finally said, his tone inexplicably warning and yet monotone, his eyebrows beginning to twitch.

By the time he opened his eyes, I was already running in the opposite direction, turning the corner. I didn't know where I was going, but hell if I was going to stay near a pissed off ninja!

"NARUTO!"

Ah shit.

I ran faster.

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Ah yes, Iruka, just plop me down on the ground like a trussed up chicken, I thought grumpily. Great teaching style. Still, I had my dignity about me, and I glared at the man with all of the fury I could muster.

It failed to do anything. In fact, I could swear that the man's mouth twitched in a slight smirk as he walked to the front of the classroom.

"Let it be known that even if an enemy ninja is being particularly elusive, superior knowledge of the environment and greater maneuverability will often allow you to capture them with ease." The man announced sagely to the room of prospective ninjas. I had to hand it to him, it almost sounded like he wasn't pulling that completely out of his ass.

The room burst out into howls of laughter, and I was clearly the target of the joke. My cheeks began to burn, and I chastised myself internally. I was older than any of these brats, what did it matter if they thought I was the dead-last. I was going to be Hokage, damnit!

…Damn, now I was actually starting to sound like Naruto.

"Ha, as if capturing Naruto would be a challenge! All you would have to do is find the nearest ramen stand." A student I didn't recognize shouted out. The room dissolved into laughter again, and my cheeks began to burn harder.

"Tell that to the guy who decided that tracking down someone who didn't want to be here was more importance than actually teaching you." Someone bit out harshly.

It took several seconds before I realized that the person who said that was me. The blood quickly drained out of my face.

Every single person in the room had their eyes on me, but they weren't laughing. Even Shikamaru lifted up his head to aim his disbelieving hooded eyes at me.

Ah shit, that wasn't something that Naruto would've said.

.

.

.

Or was it?

"I mean, what can this place teach me?" I continued, giving my head an imperious tilt. "I've already learned everything I need to become Hokage." I wiggled in place, feeling the rope constrict around my arms. "Iruka-sensei! As your future leader, I order you to release me!"

In the process of wiggling, I fell over onto my side with a _thump_ , and continued wiggling ineffectually. The class burst out into laughter again. Even Iruka chuckled. Privately, I breathed a sigh of relief. Naruto might've had a temper, but he wouldn't have snapped at Iruka like that.

Keeping on script might be harder than I thought. When the class was finished laughing, Iruka cut me free, though he made sure to clarify it was purely so that class could continue rather than out of any deference to me.

I shuffled my way to the back of the class, taking a spot next to another student I didn't recognize. I had sort of expected the only open seat to be next to Hinata or something, but it wasn't so. I guess it also worked out that I didn't recognize most of the people in this room if the secondary Genin exam had a 66.66% failure rate.

I settled into my seat, leaned my head against my palm in a typical posture of boredom, and set about completely disregarding the lesson that Iruka was giving at the front. Instead, I was studying my fellow students. Or rather, the ones that would go on to become members of the Konoha 12…and Sasuke.

It was difficult to get anything of importance just from seeing the back of their heads like this, but everything seemed to fit with what I knew. Sakura was placed as far as humanly possible from Ino, and was studiously taking notes, even though she likely didn't need to. It was odd to see her as a little girl with a ribbon in her hair rather than the badass medic ninja that I knew she would grow to be.

Come to think of it, all of them were like that. Shikamaru was sleeping again, unburdened by the responsibilities of being the Hokage's advisor, with Choji at his side, munching on chips like the happy little fat kid that he was. Hinata was an adorable little stalker whose shy glances I was studiously ignoring, and Kiba was occasionally feeding Akamaru treats while Iruka wasn't looking.

Shino was…Shino. But even he seemed so much smaller than he should have been.

In just a few months, I knew, these kids would be sent into life-or-death situations for the advancement of the Hidden Leaf Village. The thought brought a sour feeling to my mouth that I couldn't quite remove.

"Naruto!"

My head slipped from its position and slammed onto the table. The sound of the class bursting out in laughter again disguised my stream of quiet swearing as I raised my eyes to look at Iruka. The man had damnable timing.

"Yes, Sensei?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Could you please tell me what it was that I was just talking about?" Iruka questioned bluntly. Ah, here comes the part where I blew them all away with my future knowledge. I quickly looked at the board to see what the topic was. If it was chakra natures, recent history, or Tailed Beasts, then I had this in the bag.

I couldn't read the board.

It hadn't occurred to me before that moment, but since the others had been speaking in English I had assumed that either the written language would be English as well or that I would have some theretofore unnoticed ability to read it easily.

I was wrong. The kanji on the board made no sense to me. Still, Iruka was expecting an answer.

"Uh…chakra?" I tried.

"I'm amazed he knows what chakra even is." One of the students muttered. Once again there was laughter, and I had to force down any reaction. They're not really talking about you, I reminded myself. Besides, Naruto technically didn't even know what chakra was until the Zabuza Arc, so technically that kid was correct.

Didn't stop me from wanting to strangle him.

"No, Naruto. Not chakra." Iruka finally said. His tone wasn't disappointed, but it was also clear he hadn't expected me to give the right answer either. It felt it like a punch to the stomach, even though he technically wasn't the same 'teacher/big brother' to me that he was to Naruto.

The class continued after that, and I actually tried to pay attention. Normally I preferred learning from books rather than lectures, but it appeared I didn't have that option anymore. Yet I couldn't keep my attention from wandering. My rough plan had been to keep things as close to canon as possible, both because things had turned out alright and because it was the only future I could guarantee.

But I had already sort of fucked up. There were a lot of differences between myself and Naruto, more than just the age difference, and I wasn't the greatest actor. Even if I tried to replicate every conversation that I could recall from canon, there were certain beats and rhythms to conversations that you couldn't replicate just by memorizing what you're supposed to say.

Which brought me to the second difference that would make things difficult; I was nowhere near as charismatic as Naruto. While the blonde ninja didn't have friends when he was a kid due to the stigma surrounding him (as well as his loud behavior), his ability to emphasize with others and turn enemies into allies spoke to his people skills when things came down to it.

I couldn't do that. I didn't experience the lonely past that allowed Naruto to understand other's suffering, and so I had serious doubts about my ability to pull off the infamous 'Talk no Jutsu'. That meant that I wouldn't be able to get Gaara or Obito on my side, both of which are very important for ensuring that I could eventually take down Madara or Kaguya.

This was not as straightforward as I had hoped it would be. The only version of events that I knew would lead to a good future was unavailable due to the differences between myself and Naruto, and yet trying to do things in a different way might really fuck things up.

Ugh. I let my head drop to the table with a soft thud.

This was going to be difficult.

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"I'm going to take you down, Nanashi!"

"Hmph. You wish, Kazaru."

The two preteens ran towards each other and engaged in a brief display of fairly impressive martial arts. I watched from a distance as the two continued their struggle before breaking apart. The two were much quicker and much stronger than any preteens had any right to be, and they had been developing their fighting skills since they had been young children. Well…younger children.

The fight didn't last very long, as it was clear that Nanashi was the more skilled fighter. The terms of victory were either surrender or keeping someone down for ten seconds, and at the rate Kazaru kept getting put in the ground, he would run out of energy soon. I didn't recognize either one of them, but they appeared to be some sort of rivals, like a healthier Sasuke and Naruto. The match soon ended and the two left the ring, still sniping friendly insults at one another.

"Alright, then, our next match is Kiba vs. Montobu." Iruka announced, checking his his clipboard and ticking off the two names. The names were apparently randomized, to give variety in matches.

"Oh, yeah, let's do this!" Kiba shouted. He set Akamaru on the ground, as the matches were only testing solo Taijutsu tests, and entered the ring with another male student that I didn't recognize. The two began to fight, and my attention once again drifted.

There was barely anyone paying attention to the match. There were people who would break off to root for their friends, but most people were just talking to their friends or, in Sasuke's case, brooding in the corner. And there were quite a few of the girls who were all talking to one another while watching Sasuke in a way that would be a lot creepier if they were older.

Actually, it was still creepy _now_.

I was separated from the rest of the group and found that I was almost invisible. I expected people to throw glances at me and snicker mockingly, but it seemed that most of his peers were just content to ignore Naruto Uzumaki.

And I was fine with that. It gave me more time to think about my situation. I needed to commit to what I was going to do. I either needed to try and copy Naruto canon as close as possible (which would probably fail) or try and do things my own way (which would probably fail). Once I committed to one of those paths, the other would be blocked off.

God, what a mess…

"Good job, Kiba. Next match is Naruto vs. Sasuke." Iruka announced, snapping me out of my reverie. My jaw almost dropped as Sasuke grunted and moved into the ring. I moved to the ring but couldn't help but feel suspicious. What were the odds that the academy dead last would be set against the academy prodigy on the same day that the dead last's soul was kicked out of his own body?

Not very good odds.

Sasuke took up his place in the ring opposite to me. The raven haired boy's posture was relaxed, with his hands in his pockets, and though his expression was mostly blank, I could see the hints of a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. He didn't bother to take up a stance.

I gulped and took up a stance that I had seen several of the other students use. I assumed it was the general style taught by the Academy, and so it was probably the one Naruto would have at least a passing knowledge. It would look weird if Naruto suddenly took up boxing fighting styles, even if it was the only method I knew.

"Let's get this over with." I muttered.

Sasuke darted towards me quickly, and I couldn't suppress a flinch and a step back. That actually seemed to throw the boy off, and I saw surprise flash across his face, slowing him down just a touch. I tried to capitalize and throw a jerky punch, but he easily avoided it and threw a kick at my side.

Luckily for me, if there was one thing I knew how to do, it was take a hit. I saw the kick coming just a moment before it connected and let myself roll with the blow. It still hurt, but it gave me enough control to hook his other leg before I fell, taking us both to the ground.

Sasuke clearly wasn't expecting this method of fighting, and he lay stunned on the ground just a moment too long; I managed to clamber on top of him, and hold down each of his limbs as best I could. The boy was not making it easy though; he was quite strong and was bucking as hard as he could.

"Surrender." I panted, adjusting my grip on his wrists. "I could do this all day."

The crowd around the ring had grown, and there was a lot of noise surrounding us, but it was all indistinct. I could feel a grin grow on my face as Sasuke's struggles became lesser, and he opened his mouth…

I then dodged the headbutt that he tried to slam into my nose, returning with one of my own that made his head snap back into the dirt. I looked down at the prodigy dryly, my head aching from the impact. "Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "Oldest trick in the book."

I took the risk of taking my eyes off my enemy to look over at Iruka, who was staring blankly at the field. "Iruka-sensei, I think that's ten seconds." The man started and called the end of the match. I climbed off of the other boy and dusted off my orange tracksuit. The crowd's noises had built to a crescendo, and now that I wasn't focused on my opponent, I could catch snippets of conversation.

"-really just happen?"

"-hat the hell did he do to get-"

"-no way that could happen again."

Their words reminded me of exactly what had just happened, at least in their eyes. Naruto Uzumaki had just beaten Sasuke Uchiha.

Curses of all kinds ran through my mind as I made my way back to where I had previously been watching the matches, leaving Sasuke in the dirt. Well, I guess that my choice had been made for me.

How….convenient.

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The rest of the day continued to drag on, with me doing my best to act like a hyperactive, secretly depressed twelve year old boy. After matches came exercises such as pushups, pull ups, sit ups and running. Even the skinniest child was able to keep up easily, yet I doubted many adults could keep up with the amount of exercise that we had to do.

Even as I cracked jokes and drew all sorts of attention to myself, most of my mind was on testing the limits of Naruto's body. I had never been a very physically gifted person, so being able to effortlessly complete several sets of high intensity exercises almost made me giddy. From what I could tell, Naruto's legendary stamina was no fanfiction exaggeration. Even after several hours, I had yet to feel tired.

However, I also found that I was far from the strongest in the class. Physical strength, that is. Enough to knock out a full grown man with my bare fists, yes, but far from incredible. Naruto's natural development seemed to lie more in his endurance and speed, which fit with his father being the Yellow Flash.

So I brazenly challenged most of the children in my class to a race.

Unfortunately, while the other children were as physically capable as me, they had no interest in doing anything other than the basic exercises.

All except for one student.

"Hey, Dog-Breath, race me!" I pointed a finger at the student in question, who had been doing push-ups with Akamaru on his chest. I wasn't sure how effective that was of making the work out harder, considering that Akamaru looked like he weighed like two pounds, but to each their own.

"Hell yeah, let's do this, Akamaru!" Kiba stopped his exercises and rolled to his feet, grinning ferally at my challenge. I wasn't sure whether Kiba was intentionally baring his teeth at me or if it was just his nature to do so. Oh well, at least I got my race.

"First person to finish ten laps around the track?" I asked as we got to the starting line, doing my best to match Kiba's grin.

The Inuzuka removed his baggy jacket, letting it fall to the ground for Akamaru. "Let's make this interesting, Dead Last. Rooftop race around the campus." He challenged.

My eye twitched despite myself. "I just beat the Rookie of the Year, I don't think I qualify as Dead Last anymore, Dog Breath."

Kiba snorted an crossed his arms. "One lucky match does not a ninja make." He said sagely. "Besides, your grades are still below mine, so you're still Dead Last in that."

I glared at him, feeling hot anger in my mouth, but couldn't refute him. I glanced around and saw that Iruka was mentoring some of the other students. I turned back to Kiba. "Fine. First to get back here wins."

The two of us took up our positions next to the starting line of the track.

"Readysetgo!" Kiba shouted, dashing from his position towards the building with all the speed he could muster, with me right on his heels. Wind whistled by my ears and the surroundings began to blur as I focused on running as fast as possible.

It was right around the point where we were reaching the wall that I remembered I don't know how to climb buildings, nor how to free run.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiii-

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"That was stupid, Naruto." Iruka chastised, wrapping the bandage around my face. Stepping back, he nodded in approval at his handiwork.

"This itches." I complained, raising a hand to scratch at my nose. Iruka quickly reached out and smacked my hand away, trying to hide a grin at my pained mewling.

Unfortunately, this part was not me acting. My pain tolerance was…not tremendous. And slamming face-first into a wall is pretty painful, all things considered.

Oh well. I would be healed by tomorrow.

.

.

.

Still hurts though.

Iruka sat back in a chair and sighed, the smile slipping from his face. It was just the two of us in the classroom, everyone else being outside training, and he didn't have to be the strict teacher right now. "Why did you challenge Kiba to a race like that?"

I shrugged, trying to project causal cluelessness. "I beat Sasuke, I figured I could beat Kiba too."

A frown tugged at Iruka's face at that, and I privately cursed myself for bringing up the fight.

"Speaking of which…why did you fight Sasuke like that?" Iruka asked. "It wasn't like anything that I've taught you to do in a fight. It looked more like street brawling."

Ah yes Iruka, you just gave me a ticket out and you don't even know it. I seized onto his last sentence and began bullshitting. "I actually did see some guys fighting in the street! It was really sad, they couldn't do anything that us ninjas could do, but it was weirdly impressive, and they didn't really depend on strength or anything!"

Iruka gave me a blank look. "You beat Sasuke…because you were imitating two guys street fighting?"

"Yup!" I rubbed my hands together and tried to look sufficiently menacing. "That bastard is just luck that I didn't throw dirt in his face and kick him in the nuts. But there's still time…"

I saw a shiver pass up Iruka's spine. "Let's not do that." He said quickly. "And besides, that probably won't work on him a second time."

"Don't need it to work a second time. I already kicked his ass." I said smugly. Maybe this whole thing would be easier than I had thought.

Iruka frowned at me again. "While that was clever, Naruto, Sasuke is still a better fighter than you." His tone brokered no disagreement. "You're still near the bottom in Taijutsu, he's at the top."

I crossed my arms and bit back a spiteful response. "I still won." I muttered. "If it was a real battle, he'd be dead."

Iruka sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, right on the scar. "Not the point. Yes, those tricks may work in the field when you're a ninja, but the point of the Academy is to make sure that you have a solid base. You need to be able to depend on something _other_ than those tricks, otherwise you'll come up against someone who's already seen them."

I sat back and digested his words. It was true. I didn't doubt my ability to eke out a win by fighting dirty, but my actual fighting skills were actually lower than anyone else in the class due to being a civilian. I needed to make up for that somehow until I could build up some Taijutsu skills.

I didn't know much. I had information about this world, about this world's future, but I needed skills. I needed to plan, needed to think.

But more than anything else…I needed a library.

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	3. Chapter 3

Bright Orange

Chapter 03: Experiments

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Let it be said that the solutions to most problems were often closer at hand than one realized. I had been all geared up to sweep the city to find the Leaf Village Library when it had occurred to me that if there was anywhere in the village that there would be a library, it would be the place where they educate their little child soldiers.

Unfortunately, the Academy was going to be closed soon. I was supposed to be going home and contemplating what Iruka had told me, not going to the Academy library, which would be largely out of character for Naruto anyway. Unless I took the time to arrange some sort of horrific accident for someone close to Naruto that would feasibly change his personality, like I had read about in a few Naruto fics.

It would have to be a civilian, because I had no way of killing off an actual ninja, given that my own abilities were barely above baseline human. Maybe Ayame? No, her father would be devastated and maybe kill himself as well. Two deaths would be excessive. Plus, the death of a cute teenager would be looked at closely. Techui himself? Hm….Well, that was a thought.

Was it a bad sign my first instinct to solve a problem was murder?

.

.

.

Probably. Anyway, back to getting into the library.

There was the possibility of just busting down the doors and walking in after everyone left. I did have superhuman strength now after all. But that would carry the risk of someone starting an investigation, and I don't need that sort of scrutiny when it would likely take weeks to build up the skills I needed.

Fortunately (for me at least) I did have a few skills to fall back on in case of emergency, though not a lot of them were…legal. There was the option of pickpocketing a key off of Iruka when he left, but I didn't know enough of his schedule to time that well enough, plus he would notice that the key was gone. I could probably pick whatever lock they had on the doors, but I didn't have my tools with me, and I didn't know where I could get any quickly.

So, I improvised.

When the children (the shortest of whom was still taller than me) started filing outside to meet their parents, I followed, shambling just behind a group of girls, who were shooting glances at Sasuke and giggling.

Which is what I was counting on. I inched my way up to the girls and cursed the lack of reach that came with my shorter body. God, I used to be able to do this from feet away…

I inched a little closer and nearly gagged at the combined smell of several perfumes wafting up my nose. Eyes watering, I kept an eye on Sasuke and waited for the girls to giggle, when their eyes would be closed, and their attention diverted.

Something I learned from visiting tourist traps was that a lot of pickpockets relied on some sort of distraction to do their work, especially when they weren't sure which pocket the valuables are in and might have to hit the same target multiple times. In this case, Sasuke was my distraction.

I managed to frisk the pockets of three of the girls, pulling in a few ryo along the way, until I hit the jackpot; a handful of hair pins that were almost exactly the same as the ones back home. I moved away from the girls before they could notice anything and breathed a sigh of relief, both at my prize and because I was no longer stifled by perfume.

Next, I merely waited. I found that cool swing set that Naruto had brooded on after he failed the exam and tried to project an aura of despondence. I spotted a few students pointing at me and snickering, likely at my face wound, and I fought down the urge to strangle them.

Finally, the last student left with their parents, one of the teachers locked up the Academy, and I was alone. I set about mutilating myself a set of lock picks and slowly walked up to the door, lowering myself to be eyelevel with the door's handle…

I felt around with my lockpicks tentatively, unsure of the complexity of the lock. Surely the door to the Ninja Academy would have a fairly complex-

_Click_

And the door was open.

Right, weirdly disparate levels of technology. I had forgotten that about the Naruto Universe. I slid my lockpicks into my pockets and slid open the door. I walked through the hallways opening various doors, locking them behind me when I didn't find anything. Every sound made me jump, and I had to remind myself that no one else was here.

Finally, after a dozen doors, I found it. I opened the door and found a room filled with shelves, and a grin grew across my face. I stepped into the library and locked the door behind me.

Time to get to work.

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Once again, I was thrown off guard by something I hadn't expected. For instance, I had thought that I would encounter either books or scrolls. Having one seemed to invalidate the other, but instead I found both. There were regular shelves crammed with paperbacks and hardbacks, but there were also honeycomb scroll holders lining the walls.

I stumbled through quite a bit of the library before I hit the veritable jackpot; an old, well handled scroll that was essentially a children's guide to kanji. I supposed it made sense, given that quite a few of the ninjas being taught here were orphans that had no prior education.

I rolled it open, plopped on the ground, and set to work.

While I had the memories of an adult man, my brain was technically still that of a twelve year old, which was a lot more adaptable than my original one was. I didn't have to worry about the verbal aspect of the language, given that it was somehow identical to English. It was more like learning a code than anything else, but that didn't mean it was easy.

The hours flew by as I made my way through the scroll, and before I knew it, the entire room was lit entirely orange by the setting sunset outside. I sat back against the wall and ran a hand through my hair. My entire brain was on fire, and there was a headache pounding behind my eyes, but I couldn't stop now.

Besides, I had a healing factor. Any damage I did to myself would be healed by tomorrow.

.

.

.

Hopefully.

I took a deep breath and set the scroll aside. I had learned a lot of important kanji, enough to at least identify most of the titles on the book spines. That was enough for tonight. I didn't need to risk my brain, especially since it was pretty much my only asset here.

A hysterical giggle bubbled up in my throat, and I couldn't help letting it shake my body as I succumbed to a fit of laughter. Here I was, inhabiting the body of a twelve-year-old demon container in a fictional universe, and I was still having all the same problems. Headaches and stress seemed determined to follow me across the multiverse.

I watched the sunlight leak out of the room blearily, just letting my thoughts wander after a long day. Dear God, had it only been a day? Not even that, it hadn't even been twelve hours, and yet it felt like it had been a week.

A week that had given me a hell of a to-do list.

First on that list, learn kanji. I learned best through reading, and once that avenue was unlocked, I could start working on learning (or relearning, depending on whether or not I was just an insane Naruto) things like chakra control and Ninjutsu. It would be too suspicious to go to Iruka about those things, so I'd have to do it myself.

Second on that list, learning Taijutsu. I had the conditioning to be a ninja, but not the fighting skills. I couldn't depend on cheap tricks, at least not alone, because any ninja worth their salt would have seen them before and have come up with a counter to them. Or at least, I would have. So, I needed to become at least passable in Taijutsu, before my suspicious lack of it came to light.

Luckily I had an idea how to make that happen. All I would need to do was find a duo running around in tight green spandex.

Thirdly, money. I had no idea if Naruto had any. Canon didn't give me any clues, and I didn't have Naruto's memories to sort through. My best guess was some sort of stipend, but I didn't know how much it was, or when I would get it. It would make buying food awkward if I didn't know how much money I had to spend, especially since I was quite interested in buying some…non-essentials. Sharp and pointy non-essentials.

Even though it increased the pounding in my head, I couldn't help but feel another giggle shake my body. I was glad that no one was around to see this.

Alright, I needed to get home. Needed to sleep. Learning kanji would be much easier with a well-rested brain. I stumbled to my feet and tucked the kanji scroll into my pocket. No reason that I had to break in multiple times, after all.

In fact…

With only a moment's hesitation, I grabbed a handful of other scrolls on chakra theory, basic tactics, and what appeared to be a fiction story.

Which was officially the worst crime that I had committed, in either lifetime. Seemed ironic, considering that I was probably going to end up doing a lot worse if I was going to save the world.

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I rolled over in my bed and groaned, pulling the pillow over my head to block out the sunlight, but in the process kicked my comforter off of the bed. Grumbling, I decided that was probably a sign the day was to begin, and decided to get out of my jammies.

My hand reached over to my nightstand for my glasses, but I found nothing but air.

No glasses.

I felt around a little bit more, and still found nothing.

No nightstand.

I looked down at my body and blew out a breath. Yup. I was still short. Still Naruto.

Still had plans to put into action. Saving the world, all that stuff. Luckily, when I had been falling asleep last night, a brilliant plan had occurred to me on how to make money. Now if only I could remember what it was…

God, this is why I needed coffee. And, of course, Naruto hadn't stocked up on any, given that I wasn't even sure coffee existed in the Naruto Universe. He didn't even have any good tea.

Brat.

I snorted in dark amusement as I slowly went about getting ready for the day. It wasn't like the kid had known that a grown-ass man with needs would suddenly be inside his body.

.

.

.

Dear god that sounded creepy. Forget coffee, I needed to take a shower and forget I ever had that thought. A grin lit up my face as my plan reoccurred to me. Hah! Who needed coffee?

…Me. Still me. Ah, well. Time to go shower!

Wait, but that would involve getting naked and scrubbing down a body that technically wasn't my own.

.

.

.

Forget this, I had work to do. I had managed to find Naruto's wallet 'Gamma-chan', which had a healthy amount of ryo in it. Apparently living in the bad part of town and eating mainly ramen allowed for a little bit of spending money. I wondered if that fanfiction trope of villagers overcharging him would hold true.

A frown overtook my face. I would rather not figure that out today. I quickly went to Naruto's closet and started rifling through the contents. Most of it was copies of Naruto's orange tracksuit, but there was also a stack of plain black t-shirts that went on underneath, and a pair of blue shorts that were dusty with disuse.

I quickly changed into the shorts and t-shirt. I looked into the mirror and clicked my teeth. I was still unmistakably Naruto. The whisker marks actually stood out even more without the bright orange pulling focus away, and my blonde hair was almost as bad.

The reflection of Naruto in the mirror suddenly smirked. Well, I was in a ninja village. It probably wouldn't be out of character for people to disguise their faces. I pulled out another one of Naruto's t-shirts and pulled it around my head. With a few deft hand movements, the boy in the mirror's entire head was obscured except for the eyes.

I admired myself in the mirror, my grin completely obscured. Time to put my plan into action.

All I needed was a brief stop at a grocery store, and the pocketful of ryo I had stolen from those girls.

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The room was halfway full of those who deigned to show up early to class. Well, early in so far as Iruka had yet to walk into the room. I wasn't actually sure when class started, so I hoped I had at least five minutes. Only a handful of the Konoha Twelve were in the room, and among them was my target. I suppressed a smile, and let an expression of solemn power cover my face.

Commence Operation: Exploitation.

"Sasuke Uchiha." My voice squeaked erratically. I was going for 'boomed dramatically', but Naruto's voice wasn't really built for that. Good thing I had switched back into my jumpsuit after buying my tools, otherwise I would look ridiculous in my face mask.

Never mind, I looked ridiculous anyway.

Sasuke glared up at me, a sneer twisting his normally apathetic expression. Whispers filled my ears as I strode across the wooden floors and stood before the black-haired boy's desk.

"-he doing?"

"-probably bragging about beating him."

"-no way he could do that twice."

Good, everyone clearly remembered the fact that I had beaten Sasuke into the dirt. And if they all remembered, then Sasuke definitely did. He had that whole Inferiority-Superiority Complex after all.

"What do you want, Dead Last?" The boy growled. Well, as much as a twelve-year-old _could_ growl, anyway. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, as it would interfere with the solemn look upon my face.

"Sasuke Uchiha," I repeated, for drama's sake, "Yesterday, I defeated you, my greatest rival, in unarmed combat before a crowd of adoring onlookers. A victory without equal, one that will surely reverberate throughout the ages. One that will go down in the history books."

I heard a snort of laughter and resisted the urge to look.

"Yes, I remember." Sasuke ground out through clenched teeth. His posture was still relaxed, but his eyes were sharp and flinty.

I puffed out my chest and smiled graciously at him. "I see you are as sharp as I remember, my great rival. However, I am far too humble to hold my overwhelming victory over your head."

 _Finally,_ I could see some confusion dawning in Sasuke's face at my odd tone and words, and bewildered mutterings filled the classroom. I continued as if I hadn't noticed. "However, without you to drive me, I find myself listless upon a great river of apathy. As such, I have decided that another contest is in order to determine which among us is truly the greater warrior."

"Gladly." Sasuke bit out, rising from his desk. He stopped halfway as I pulled several items out of my jumpsuit and slammed them on the surface between us.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see people crowding around to see what I had set on the desk. Two disposable plastic cups, two toothbrushes, a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of water, and a bottle of orange juice.

Sasuke stared at the items, still halfway between standing and sitting. "What is this supposed to be, Dead Last? And why are you talking like that?"

"I am unsure of what you mean, my rival." I said magnanimously. "These are instruments proven through the generations to test men of all ages on their virility and fighting spirit." God, I really hoped that he didn't know what virility actually meant.

Sasuke was a survivor of a horrific accident that left him teetering between humanity and sociopathy, but for all that, he was still a twelve-year-old kid. More than that, he was a ridiculously prideful twelve-year-old kid, and I was challenging him with a mysterious competition.

It was like catnip.

Sasuke sat back down, and the mutterings spiked in volume. Wow, my antics when I was twelve never garnered this much attention.

Letting the tension build, I silently filled the two glasses to the brim with orange juice. I noted that even the juice was a shade less vibrant than Naruto's jumpsuit.

"The challenge," I said solemnly, "will consist of two parts. The first: we will brush our teeth vigorously, holding nothing back, until they shine in the morning sun."

I stared at Sasuke expectantly, and he gave a hesitant nod to show he understood.

"Part two: we will drink of these clear goblets that I have filled with citrine elixir, for as long a time as either of us can stomach it. The first one to concede is the Super-Loser-For-All-Time, while the second person is the Best-Ninja-Ever-For-All-Time."

Silence overtook the room, and Sasuke's face twisted into a frown. Either that, or it was a pout. Given the lack of squealing from fangirls, it was probably a frown. "What are you playing at, Dead Last?" He said suspiciously.

Wow, being called Dead Last all the time was more irritating than I would've thought. No wonder Naruto hated this kid.

"I am playing at nothing, rival." I managed to get out with a smile. I could always strangle him after he defected. "This is a serious test of our skills. This ritual has lead to everlasting peace by allowing for the calm resolution of blood feuds."

"Did you swallow a thesaurus or something?" Sasuke snarked at me. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, but I forced it down.

"I believe it is extremely improper to utilize a lexicon in such a manner." I said calmly. Okay, maybe I was taking it a bit far. My reasoning was that people would accept my increased vocabulary as long as I was being appropriately ridiculous about it, but I didn't want to push it.

Sasuke sneered up at me, which was irritating both because it filled me with the desire to punch a child in the face, and because he was still almost as tall as me sitting while I was standing. "You're up to something, Dead Last. I'm not going to be a part of your stupid prank."

He turned away and glowered out the window with a pout. The fangirls squealed.

I heaved a sigh. Dramatically.

I turned away. Dramatically.

"Well, I guess your hair isn't the only thing that looks like a chicken." I said sadly. Sadly and dramatically.

The class collectively sucked in a breath. Well, I assume. I didn't actually check. What matters is that Sasuke went stiff. He turned his head towards me and I half expected his eyes to blaze into Sharingan with the amount of anger directed at me.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, nothing, my great rival." I said. "Just that you happen to resemble a certain kind of fowl. You know, a chicken."

Wow, who knew that Sasuke had the same trigger as Marty McFly?

Sasuke roughly grabbed the tube of toothpaste and squeezed a little bit too hard. A shot of toothpaste splatted against the desk messily. We both decided to ignore it as we prepared our toothbrushes. Despite his protests, Sasuke was completely stony faced and serious as we faced off, while I was struggling to keep from smirking.

I doused my toothpaste ridden toothbrush with water and stuck the bristles in my mouth, idly reminded that there hadn't been a toothbrush in Naruto's bathroom, so this was probably the first time he had brushed his teeth in years, if at all.

Hygiene for the win!

It was very hard to look intimidating while one was vigorously brushing one's teeth, but Sasuke Uchiha gave it a valiant effort. I spat the residue delicately into another cup I had in my jacket, and pointedly tossed it in the wastebasket.

Sasuke glared at me and swallowed his mouthful of toothpaste with a poorly disguised grimace.

I pushed one of the cups of orange juice towards my 'rival' and picked up my own cup, allowing my smirk to briefly show on my face. Sasuke gripped his plastic cup and it shattered, soaking his hand and the desk below us with the sticky liquid.

A nervous titter went up around the classroom, and Sasuke flushed red, probably because no one had ever laughed at him before. I got the sudden urge to muss his hair to see how he'd react, but instead I poured another glass of juice and silently handed it to the boy as if nothing had happened.

"Three." I said, raising my glass. My other hand rose up halfway to adjust my glasses, only to abruptly remember I no longer wore any.

"Two." Sasuke raised his glass as well, ignoring the fact that his hand was still soaked in orange juice.

"One!" Someone from the audience shouted.

Sasuke and I started chugging the orange juice. Right away, a vastly unpleasant sensation flooded my mouth, and I squirmed in my seat, but refused to stop drinking.

Across from me, Sasuke was suffering the same fate, but he was trying to remain dignified about it, which of course made it worse. I could see tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.

You could train until your body broke from exhaustion, which I suspected Sasuke often did, which trained your body against one kind of unpleasantness, but it didn't insulate you from _other_ kinds of unpleasantness.

Such as drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth. Training yourself against that sort of unpleasantness took a special sort of idiot.

Luckily, _I_ was that sort of idiot.

My original body's ability to tolerate it might not be present here, but I knew how to deal with it, even though I was just about ready to scrape my teeth out at this point.

Finally, Sasuke couldn't stand it anymore, and he spat a mouthful of orange juice back into his cup, and started looking for something to wash out his mouth. He reached out for the water bottle, only for me to snatch it up and drain it in two quick gulps.

"Ahhhh, that's good." I sighed in relief. I gave an innocent look to Sasuke. "Well, it looks like I'm the Best-Ninja-Ever-For-All-Time, huh? Don't you agree, Super-Loser-For-All-Time?"

Sasuke glared at me, but it was undercut by the obvious discomfort on his face. His glare remained for a whole five seconds until he dashed out of his seat for the door, probably to find a water fountain. I watched him go with a grin on my face. Humiliating Sasuke was a nice side benefit, but it wasn't the entire point.

I hopped onto the desk, avoiding the puddle of orange juice present, and clapped my hands together to draw everyone's attention. I then leaned down and scooped up Sasuke's toothbrush, holding it aloft grandly before the crowd.

"Current price: 1,000 ryo, do I hear 1,000 ryo?"

There wasn't a moment of hesitation before one of the civilian girls' hands shot up. "1,000 ryo!"

"Alright, I've heard 1,000 ryo, do I hear 1,500 ryo?"

Sakura's hand shot up. "2,000 ryo!"

Ino shot a glare at her rival. "In your dreams, Forehead! I've got 3,000 ryo!"

I grinned. "I hear 3,000 ryo."

Greatest money-making scheme ever pulled. Who needed eBay?

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"I wonder if this is illegal." I mused to myself, counting through my winnings. "Nah, probably not." I managed to pull in 23,000 ryo by the time Iruka had walked in. I had managed to puzzle out that a ryo was roughly equivalent to 10 dollars, which was roughly equal to what I remembered as the exchange rate between yen and dollars back home. Man, these kids had way too much money on their hands!

…Back home.

I set down the money with a sigh and looked around the library. I had managed to sneak back in, as it was far more comfortable than Naruto's apartment. There were just too many reminders.

That someone else had lived there.

That he was gone forever.

That it was probably my fault.

I shook my head and tried to rid myself of my darker thoughts. Finding out what happened to Naruto was low on my list of priorities—it had to be. As I had already figured out, I couldn't depend on the same levels of back up that Naruto had. I couldn't count on the Shinobi Alliance forming in this timeline. I had to be strong. Strong enough to face down threats that would endanger the entire world.

Strong enough to defeat Kayuga.

I snorted involuntarily. No one even knew that Kayuga existed, much less was a threat. If Kakashi asked me what my dream was I couldn't exactly answer 'to kill the mother of the Sage of Six Paths before she can take back the world's chakra'.

…Not that I was very far on that road yet. My fighting abilities weren't great, and it was only pure luck that I hadn't been called upon to get in the ring today. I wasn't sure how long there was until graduation, but I was sure it wasn't long. In that amount of time, I needed to not only learn Taijutsu, but Ninjutu as well. Things that took these kids years to learn under ordinary circumstances.

Well, it was a good thing my situation wasn't ordinary then.

With a decisive nod, I tucked away my newfound money, shoved my existential dread to the back of my mind like any good adult, and pulled out my kanji scroll.

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"My great rival! The score is two-to-zero in my favor, and yet I crave competition. Will you engage me in a battle of wills again on this morn for a chance to win the title of Best-Ninja-Ever-For-All-Time?"

Sasuke glowered at me. "That contest indicated nothing, Dead Last. It doesn't count."

"I am afraid it does indeed, my dear rival. However, I am sure that this one will be more to your liking: Push Up Contest!"

The boy perked up (at least as much as he could), and the entire class (of which significantly more had showed up this morning) filed outside at my direction. The sun wasn't exactly blazing hot, but it would do its job.

Sasuke and I dropped to the floor and began cranking out push-ups, with each of us calling out what number we were on. I couldn't keep a grin off my face at the ease with which I could now do the exercise that had become a challenge in my original body.

Once we got into the triple digits, my arms and back were trembling sporadically, but Sasuke was like a machine, not resting in the least. Even though the actual score didn't matter to me as much as the money, I picked up my own rate as well, determined to not let him win.

Unfortunately, all the willpower in the world didn't matter to a pulled muscle. I felt a painful wrench in my back, and my right arm refused to follow my commands. I collapsed into the dirt, groaning.

The class roared with approval as Sasuke stood, a smirk on his face. As I stumbled to my feet, I noticed that despite his cool demeanor, he was soaked through with sweat. With my one functional hand, I pulled out a rag to wipe my own sweaty face with, and idly tossed one in Sasuke's direction as well.

It appeared that beating me put him in a good mood, because he didn't even protest, mopping up his own face as well. "Guess this makes me the Best-Ninja-Ever-For-All-Time, huh, Dead Last?" He taunted.

I shrugged casually, trying not to grimace with the pain in my shoulder. "At least until tomorrow."

Sasuke blanched. "Tomorrow?"

"Good morning, class. Today we'll be- Where is everyone?" Iruka's voice sounded from inside. The class quickly stampeded back inside and during the rush, I snagged Sasuke's rag and put it in a baggy.

By the time the day ended, I had managed to sell it to the tune of 15,000 ryo. Fangirls were gross, but at least they were exploitable.

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The days began to tick by slowly, taking on a familiar pattern. I would challenge Sasuke to some insane scheme that would result in me getting something to sell to his fangirls after class, normally pulling in at least 10,000 yen, which took the sting out of the contests that I lost. For the rest of the day I tried to pay attention, but my attention kept wandering and I found myself constantly fidgeting.

Unfortunately, that wasn't some carry-over of Naruto's energy, class was just really boring. There were occasional good nuggets of information, but given that we were in the final year, much of it was devoted to how to effectively follow mission protocols, what constituted an acceptable risk, things like that. I technically knew that it was all important, but I still found my attention wandering frequently.

At the end of the day, I would sneak into the library and read. I had basically memorized the scroll by the third day and started on the tactics and ninjutsu theory. Of course, reading Ninjutsu theory had lead me to a vital part of my plan: Chakra control.

It was practically the reverse of how everything else in my life was progressing; where everything else was hard, chakra was easy. The first step was becoming aware of your chakra flow through your coils, kind of like trying to find your own heartbeat.

I had sat down to meditate, focused…and found a swirling storm of chaotic energy boiling beneath my skin. The book detailed how you would feel the flow of chakra and thus direct the flow within your coils to manipulate it, but I could easily see why Naruto had such difficulty with control. It was like trying to find the flows in a raging tsunami. I could barley believe that so much energy could be contained within my body.

When I stopped trying to identify the flows and came back to myself, I was drenched in sweat.

It was almost too easy to spend all my time playing with my chakra rather than developing my kanji reading. My chakra was almost too eager to spill out of my tenketsu into the world, and watching it materialize around myself like a flickering azure shroud hadn't yet failed to fill me with excitement.

Despite my progress, a pit slowly formed in my stomach over the days. I wasn't sure how long it was until graduation, but it likely wasn't long. I needed to catch up, and fast, before people became suspicious and started to poke around, but the only route I had available so far was to keep my head down and slowly develop my skills.

My days were full, and left little time for existential musings, which was probably for the best. Up the sixth day when I walked over to the Academy and found the door locked. Puzzled, I continued pulling on the door, convinced it was some sort of prank, until I heard a by now familiar voice behind me.

"Naruto? What are you doing?"

A chill worked its way up my spine, but I plastered a bright grin on my face as I spun around.

"Morning, Mizuki-sensei! Just trying to get in to the Academy. I yearn to learn, all that stuff."

The blue haired chunin gave me a bemused look that didn't do anything to lessen the discomfort I felt. Over the past few days, Mizuki had been nothing but polite and calm, showing himself to be just as good a teacher as Iruka. There weren't any signs I could see that he was the power-hungry man that would be Naruto's first enemy.

"It's Saturday." Mizuki told me succinctly.

I slapped a hand to my forehead (which rather hurt given that my goggles were still sitting there) and began mumbling quiet curses to myself. Naruto didn't have a calendar, and it simply hadn't occurred to me to check and see if weeks were set up the same in the NU as they were back home. Apparently, I had been dropped into Naruto's body on a Monday.

Damn, what was I supposed to do with my day now? I still hadn't managed to track down Rock Lee for Taijutsu training, and while my kanji was at a decent level, I had yet to find any scrolls or books in the library that walked the reader through the Clone, Substitution or Transformation Jutsu.

Hm, maybe it was time to go buy some new clothing? Or maybe I could try to find some area in the Leaf Village to actually practice tree walking?

Mizuki chuckled indulgently. "I suppose you were up all night planning some prank?" He said knowingly.

A faint idea tickled at the back of my mind, and for the first time I hesitated. The idea was risky, but it could potentially pay off big time. I ducked my head and mumbled, "I was up all night practicing the Clone Jutsu."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mizuki's face soften, and he pulled out a ring of keys. He stepped past me and open the door, gesturing for me to follow him. Silently, trying my best to project confusion, I followed.

Mizuki lead me into his office and I sat down in front of his desk. "Naruto, are you worried about passing the exam?" He asked bluntly.

I could answer yes, and hope that Mizuki would decide to pull the 'Hidden Test' scam, but there were several reasons that might not happen. In canon, Mizuki had done that when Naruto was at the lowest point in his life, seemingly blocked off from his dreams forever. Naruto had been desperate to not question anything that Mizuki had said. Mizuki might not see simply being frustrated with a tricky Jutsu as enough incentive to not question his orders.

If I was going to do this, and fully devote myself to diverging from Naruto canon, I needed to do something different. Learning the Shadow Clone Jutsu would only help my plans.

I felt nerves rise up in my chest, but shoved them down with irritation. I took a deep breath, erased all trace of nervousness from my expression and looked Mizuki dead in the eye. "No, I'm not." I said. "I'm here on behalf of our mutual benefactor."

Mizuki raised an eyebrow, likely surprised at Naruto using a word like 'benefactor'. "Mutual benefactor?" He echoed.

I licked my lips and nodded. "The Snake Sanin, Orochimaru. He has a job for us."

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**Hello, Internet! Thank you, everyone, for your interest in this story, and I will try to make it entertaining for you. Any questions are welcome, though to ward off questions about the ending of this chapter I'll go ahead and tell you that my SI's reasoning will be laid out in the next chapter.**

**Thanks for reading, and always remember to FOLLOW, FAVORITE, and REVIEW**


	4. Chapter 4

Bright Orange

Chapter 04: Deceptions

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I could feel beads of sweat gather at the back of my neck, but I didn't move as I held Mizuki's gaze. As the seconds ticked by the blue haired man scanned me critically, not moving from his seat. Slowly, he raised his hands and put them in what I recognized as the ram seal.

An odd shiver passed through me, and I recognized a slight shimmer in the air that passed after just a moment. I took a moment to check my chakra coils and found their raging tides to be even more disrupted than normal.

"No Transformations. No Genjutu." I told Mizuki sharply. "This is the real deal."

"And why would Naruto Uzumaki have any reason to join Orochimaru?" Mizuki asked. Though his posture was relaxed and his tone reasonable, I was very aware of the fact that I was sitting feet away from a trained, and willing, killer.

Luckily, I had already thought of how to answer that particular question. "He promised me answers." I replied frostily. "I'm not an idiot, Mizuki. This entire Village hates me for some reason, and the old man won't tell me. Orochimaru is a scientist, who else would know the truth behind why they hate me?"

Good, good. Letting him think that I didn't know about the Nine Tails would make him think he had some sort of power over me, and it would make him more confident in taking action.

Mizuki smiled, but it wasn't the kindly smile of the sensei I had seen over the course of the week. It was a wicked, curving smirk that didn't fit on his face. "Just as you don't want to be taken for an idiot, I'm not one either, Naruto. Now I don't know what you're pulling, but it isn't going to work." He got up and walked over to open the door. "I think it's time for you to go."

I didn't move from my seat. He wouldn't let me go unless he was sure I didn't have any evidence. Luckily, that was one thing I did have. "You were on a mission. Your teammate got injured, and would only prove a liability, so you strangled him. Orochimaru noticed and gave you a tattoo of a skull on the inside of your forearm."

There was a brief moment of silence, then a horrible feeling of vertigo struck me, along with a powerful force yanking me along by my collar, and then I was somewhere else. I stumbled, trying to stand, and instead crumbled to the floor, crushing a pile of leaves underneath me.

I only had a moment to register that I had just suffered involuntarily going through the Body Flicker Jutsu before I found my hair pulled back and a very worrying pressure on my neck.

"What's to stop me from killing you now?" Mizuki hissed in my ear. I tried to squirm away from the kunai at my neck, but a heavy foot found its way onto my back, forcing me back to the ground.

My blood roared in my ears, and the words I wanted to say started to run together and warp before they could make their way out of my mouth. The kunai pressed harder into my throat, and I could feel a trickle of hot, sticky blood make its way down my throat.

Oh my god, I might die. My breaths started to come quicker, and fuzz filled my brain. "So, you've got nothing?" Mizuki's voice came from right behind my ear, and my fear suddenly began to bleed into anger.

This flat, two-note villain was not going to be the end of me. I still had too much to do, to save the world. Panic didn't do anything to clear my mind, but anger burned through the haze and solidified my thoughts.

"The Scroll of Sealing." I said. My voice wavered, but the words were clear. "Orochimaru wants it, and we're in the perfect position to steal it."

Mizuki drew back, and I almost smirked, but forced it down. He'd probably already developed some sort of plan to steal the Scroll. The ninja recovered quickly. "What do you mean, the perfect position?" He asked. The kunai's pressure had relented slightly, but I still wasn't safe.

I swallowed and improvised quickly. "It gives us both what we want. You want power, I want out of this village. I steal the Scroll, copy the contents, and we fight. I get away, and you recover the Scroll. I deliver the scroll to Orochimaru, and you get to be a hero. I wouldn't be surprised if you got promoted to jonin for recovering the Scroll."

Of course, even if I wasn't planning on betraying him, things likely wouldn't go down that way. I was the Leaf Village's greatest weapon, and me betraying the village would be a huge emergency. I wouldn't be surprised if the Third Hokage mobilized most of the village's ninja to track me down.

And Mizuki knew that too. Plus, he also thought I was evil. He wouldn't exactly be inclined to help me in any case.

Unless he could both gain power and eliminate me too, that was. After all, he could always have me steal the Scroll and then arrange for a little 'accident' to befall the local village jinchuriki, like he did in canon.

The knife was removed from my throat, and Mizuki's foot was taken off of my back. I coughed thickly and scrambled to my feet, my hand going to the cut in my throat. My fingers came away smeared with blood, and I stared at it in fascination. I had never seen so much of it in one place before…

Mizuki snapped his fingers, brining my attention back to him. The chunin scowled, his 'friendly teacher' persona wiped away. "Focus, Naruto." He growled. "You're sure that he said the Scroll of Sealing?"

I nodded. "Absolutely. He wants to learn every Jutsu on the planet and has some way to avoid the costs involved in them." I shrugged, as if I didn't also need to get my hands on that Scroll. "I don't really care. I've never had much luck with Jutsu."

Technically that was true. I didn't know any to be honest.

Mizuki grunted, and looked at me with cool, calculating eyes. I kept a wary distance between us, though it likely wouldn't help me if he decided to attack again. "I'll need some time." He said finally. "I did have a plan to steal the Scroll, but I don't have all of the security details yet. When does he want the Scroll by?"

"As soon as possible." I lied smoothly. "He said something about giving your seal an upgrade if we completed it by the end of the week."

Mizuki's eyes widened. "An upgrade?"

"Yup. Apparently, yours is a prototype." I confirmed. "The new one is apparently twice as powerful with none of the drawback." I straight up had no idea whether or not those statistics were accurate, but the Cursed Seal of Heaven _did_ technically exist.

Mizuki went silent, and for the first time I could understand the expression 'seeing the gears turn' in someone's head. Mizuki was a man of greed and hatred. I doubted that I'd get through this without him trying to kill me at least once.

Well, technically he'd already tried to kill me, so I doubted that I'd get through this without him trying to kill me twice. My only hope was to learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu in time to beat him like in canon.

"Are you sure that you're up to sneaking into the Hokage Tower?" Mizuki asked abruptly. "If you're caught, I won't help you. This conversation will have never happened."

And he'd likely make sure I couldn't say anything by employing some good ol' child murder, I thought to myself. So, I'd just have to make sure that I didn't get caught.

"You get the info about layout and guards, I'll handle the rest. Besides, I don't always wear bright orange." I said dryly.

To my surprise, that actually got a snort of laughter from Mizuki. "Perhaps it would be better if you wore your normal clothes." He mused aloud. "We need people to know that it was you that stole it, to take suspicion off of me."

I nodded. Once I pinned the blame on him and convinced the Third Hokage that Mizuki had tricked me, my good name (or at least, not traitorous name) would be restored, so I was fine. After all, if Naruto could do it, hopefully I could too.

"I'll have the plans by the end of the week." Mizuki said grimly. "You keep your head down and get ready. You need to be ready to move at any point of the day or night."

I was willing to put money that he would wake me in the middle of the night, when I would be tired and easier to defeat. Instead of telling him that, I smiled and agreed. Mizuki nodded decisively and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Which was around the moment when I realized that I had no idea where he had Flickered us to, only that we were surrounded by enormous trees that I didn't recognize, and I couldn't see or hear anyone else around.

I grumbled and picked a random direction to start walking in. If I wasn't going to betray that asshole before, I was definitely going to now.

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I had been walking for almost half an hour, and I didn't see any signs of the Leaf Village yet. Either I had gone the wrong way, or Naruto's legs were so short that even a half hour of walking didn't take me far enough.

Sighing, I leaned up against a wide based oak and looked up at the twining branches high above me. I had been so busy over the week that I hadn't had the time to just appreciate the beauty of the trees. Each one was taller than any I had seen in my original world, and the wind tugged at the leaves and carried them in delicate patterns across the sky.

I closed my eyes and a smile ghosted across my face as the wind ruffled my hair. It had been far too long since I had done anything in nature.

Upon closing my eyes, the tides of my chakra made themselves known to me once again and I gently played with the flow within my coils, barely in control of the great force of my own energy. My chakra pushed against the bonds of my body, and I carefully let it leak out.

Chakra was a very curious energy source. Whenever I summoned it as a haze around myself, it would only last for a few minutes before returning to my coils, unused. I hadn't yet found a way to actually use it.

Which is what made it so surprising when, several minutes later, I didn't feel my chakra return to the surging tides within me. Frowning, I opened my eyes and found that there was still a chakra shroud around me, but it was flickering, with tendrils whipping about in the air.

No, not tendrils whipping about…they were being carried by the wind.

Cautiously, I tried to direct the chakra away from my skin, and the haze of energy around me began to expand, only to slowly be drunken in by the wind.

A shot of excitement filled me, and a ridiculous grin grew on my face. I tried to direct the wind to slash the tree in front of me, but nothing happened. Frowning, I tried to recall what my ninjutsu scroll had said about controlling chakra once it had exited your coils. All of that was for actual molded chakra though, not this weird elemental absorption thing.

Now that I thought about it, Naruto's element _was_ wind, but wind chakra was supposed to be about making things sharper, not actually controlling the wind.

Something brushed against me, and I swatted at my side, sure to find a squished bug. Instead, there was nothing. Then something skittered across my hand, but once again there was nothing.

A theory slowly taking place in my mind, I let my chakra return to my coils, glanced up at the trees, and slowly started to follow the wind. Here and there, I thought I could feel faint traces of my own energy in the wind that brushed across me. All during my walk, odd sensations would flicker through my body, only further solidifying my theory.

Finally, the faint _clang_ of metal on wood made its way into my ears. As I got closer, I began to distinguish that it wasn't one sound, but several all at once.

As I got closer, I could see nicks and gouges in the bark of the trees all around. Curious, I once again directed my flow of chakra outwards, and allowed the wind to drink it in. Rather than passively allowing the wind to pick it up, I tried to actively match the ebbs of my chakra to that of the wind, and dumped as much chakra as I could into the surrounding air.

My body exploded into a mess of tingles and itches that made me want to claw my skin off. I shut my eyes and tried to drown out the sensations, but that only made them stronger.

"Bad idea, bad idea. No messing with chakra powers, no messing with chakra powers." I muttered to myself, leaning up against a tree and frantically scratching at my sides.

The sounds of metal on wood stopped.

"Hello?" A voice called out. It had a lower pitch than many of the girls at the Academy, but was still distinctly feminine.

I could feel the wind as it brushed past hundreds of leaves, their edges dancing along the lengths of my arms, and brushes of cloth moving through the air closer and closer to me. I shivered and dissipated the chakra around me, but I couldn't draw back in the chakra already in the air.

The bark of the tree bit into my hand as I leaned against it, and the sensation was much stronger than anything my wind-sense was feeding me. I leaned harder against the tree, and felt pinpricks of pain in my palm.

I could feel the wind brush across something softer than leaves or cloth, and it diverted the air in an odd way, almost as if it was a sphere of some kind.

Of _course_ it would be her.

"Hey, orange kid, you okay?" The voice asked hesitantly.

I pried open my eyes, and in front of me was a (relatively) tall brunette girl with her hair tied into twin buns, dressed in a pink shirt that was stained with sweat. "I'm fine, Tente- I mean, I'm fine." I waved her off. I cringed as I realized I had already said most of her name.

Only instead of drawing away, full of suspicion, the genin moved closer, her eyes wide. "Kami, what happened to your throat? You're covered in blood!"

My other hand went to my throat, feeling the dried blood that trailed down into my jumpsuit. I hadn't had anything to wipe it off with and had forgotten all about it.

I could see the wind ruffle her clothing and could feel it across my chest. "Uh, this isn't that serious. Just a little training." I aggressively scratched at my cheek, feeling something like fur brush across it. My eyes flickered up to the treetops and I spotted a squirrel climbing up a tree a ways off.

"Clearly it is serious. At the very least, you need to get that cleaned." Tenten insisted. She started pulling at my arm, and I regretfully let go of the tree. "You're shivering: that can't be good." She mumbled.

"No, I can handle it." I pulled my arm away from her. "I heal quickly."

Tenten glared at me and mumbled something about stupid macho pride. In a blink, she had out a kunai of her own, and before I could protest, she had flipped it around and I felt the heavy metal pommel slam into my temple.

In the few seconds of consciousness that followed, I religiously went through every swear that I knew. I only made it halfway through before the darkness closed in on me.

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I woke up on an unfamiliar bed for the second time in a week, which would've been exciting if not for the fact that it wasn't because I had got laid. I guess getting put in a superpowered ninja body was pretty cool too.

Then my memories flooded back to me, and I shot up in my bed. My 'bed' was actually a cot that was laid out in some sort of storage room, and there was a medical kit open on the floor. I checked my throat and found it bandaged sloppily.

"Oh, you're awake!" Tenten brushed aside the curtain that served as a door, a large box in her arms. She brushed past me and set it upon a stack of other boxes. "Would you mind helping me out with these? We just got a new bulk shipment of kunai."

I grit my teeth and tried to keep from snapping, but the throbbing pain on the top of my head undid whatever work my willpower could do. "Why on earth would I help you?" I bit out.

Tenten gave me a sharp (hardy-har) look. "That's mighty rude for someone whose life I just saved." She said frostily.

I was tempted to go with the classic 'I didn't ask for your help' line, but that wasn't what was making me angry. "How long was I out?" I asked abruptly.

Tenten's expression relaxed, likely because I didn't seem to be mad at her anymore. "About ten minutes, just long enough to get you back here and bandaged up."

Anger rose up in my throat yet again, and I tried to tamp it out, but couldn't keep it entirely out of my tone. "Well, it's a good thing I didn't _fucking die_ then isn't it?"

Tenten blinked in confusion, and I forcefully tried to remind myself that she was only a thirteen-year-old girl. "What are you talking about?"

I took a deep calming breath and forced down my anger. "If you knock someone out and they're out for more than five minutes, it's likely because they have _brain damage_."

Tenten's tan complexion got a shade paler, but she recovered quickly. "You seem fine." She gestured to me.

"Because I heal quickly." I bit out. "That wasn't a boast, I have a healing factor. If I was anyone else, I likely would be a drooling mess here in your storage room."

"Oh, Kami." Tenten breathed, her eyes wide. "I'm so sorry." She braced herself against a stack of boxes, and I felt a twinge of guilt. She was just trying to do what was right. She had been taught how to kill, not how to safely disable.

I sighed and rubbed my face. "No, I'm sorry." I muttered. "I get where you're coming from. And…thanks for bandaging my throat."

Tenten didn't brighten, but she did regain some of her color. "You're welcome." She responded reflexively. Then she cringed. "Sorry its not that good. I've never really nicked myself before, so I don't have a ton of experience."

Huh. I remembered that her alternate universe version in Road to Ninja was supposed to be really good at medicine specifically because of how often she injured herself. I supposed that fit, given that Alternate!Tenten was literally the reverse of this one.

I waved her off. "I'm fine. Healing factor, remember?" I pulled myself off the bed and stretched just to make sure everything was fine, and I didn't actually have some sort of brain damage that affected my coordination. I saw Tenten's nose wrinkle, and I bit back a laugh. I still wasn't comfortable scrubbing down a body that wasn't my own, and I was sure I stank to high heaven. Thank god she was too polite to mention it.

Something tickled my fingers, and I blinked in surprise as I remembered my experiment with wind chakra. As I focused, I could feel odd sensations prickle across my skin, but it was distant and far-off compared to earlier. My chakra must have been spread too thin for me to get proper feedback. Thank God for that, at least until I could figure out a way to handle all the sensory input.

"Huh." Tenten let slip. I saw her eyes sweep me analytically. "You seemed taller when you were angry."

Wow, I could actually understand why every short person I met was so angry if they dealt with comments like that. The worse part was that all of the comebacks I could come up with would just center on her almost killing me, which would just make her upset again.

I pointed a finger at her. "Do you want to make cracks about my height, or do you want help with those boxes?"

"You are of average height and I have never thought otherwise." She said immediately.

I rolled my eyes and held the curtain aside for her, making a broad gesture outside. "After you."

Tenten rolled her eyes back at me but exited and I followed close behind her.

I stepped into the other room and froze. The shop was nowhere near the size of something like a Wal-Mart, yet managed to cram an enormous amount of merchandise in the shop. All along the walls, and displayed on shelves, and in bulk box orders, were weapons. Shiny, well cared for weapons, all polished and sharpened to be perfect cutting edges and piercing points of all kinds.

"Are you drooling?" Tenten asked.

"What? No." I denied, wiping the corner of my mouth on my sleeve. "Absolutely not."

They were all so pointy…

Tenten snorted and shoved my shoulder. "I didn't know that you were a weapon guy! I didn't even see a kunai holster on you." She said, a grin on her face.

"Uh, less a weapon user and more a weapon…enthusiast." I said hesitantly, my eyes still tracing the walls and their beautiful steel armaments. Do not start drooling, do not start drooling, do not start drooling…

"You're drooling again." Tenten said flatly, a smirk curling onto her face. I wiped my mouth, faint heat in my cheeks.

"Lets just…move crates." I mumbled, heading towards the front of the store. Tenten laughed and grabbed me, spinning me around.

"No, no, Dad would be furious if I let a potential customer slip away because I made him do manual labor for me."

I recovered my balance and did my best to not pout. "I don't think that I can buy anything anyway. I'm still an Academy student. Technically a civilian." I pointed out.

Tenten shrugged her shoulders. "So? After we sell you the weapon, you're the one responsible for the safety of yourself and others."

I hesitated. I had picked up quite a bit of the money over the week, and with Naruto's original money I had over 80,000 ryo, which was probably enough to get a weapon….but then how would I pay for food? I had largely been living off of Naruto's stock of instant ramen for now, but that would run out eventually.

"Did I mention that we're having a special discount for people who were accidently injured by their new ninja friends?" Tenten said slyly.

My resistance crumbled. "I guess I could take a look around." I agreed.

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In the end, I ended up both helping Tenten with the boxes _and_ buying myself a sword. She seemed slightly leery about giving me a double-edged sword given my complete lack of training, to which I once again pointed out that I had a healing factor, which had the unfortunate side effect of reminding her of the whole 'brain damage' thing. I felt bad about making her feel guilty, but at least it had the side effect of making her forget that I had known her name without us having met before.

I had also ben convinced to buy the tools to sharpen and clean my new sword as well, and I got a holster thrown in for free. All told, it had cost me 75,000 ryo, and I had been prepared to buy a scroll detailing how to use it, but Tenten had regretfully told me that they just sold the weapons, not instructions on how to use them.

Ah, but I couldn't be upset. I grabbed my new toy and pulled it out of its sheath with a satisfying _shinnnk_ of metal on metal. It was a plain jian, a Chinese short sword, with a simple wooden hilt and burnished steel forming the blade. It had a pleasing weight in my hand that sent shivers up my spine, and I couldn't help but grin stupidly.

Who knew that all I would have to do to get myself a quality sword was travel to another dimension and impersonate a twelve-year-old?

A chuckle escaped my mouth, and I was glad that I was finally getting over hearing a much higher pitched voice coming out of my mouth. No, Naruto. Hearing Naruto's voice coming out of his own body, I firmly reminded myself. The fingers that ran over my sword, the eyes that allowed me to see, even the mystical energy within this body…it was his.

Which is what made this afternoon so odd.

Wind was Naruto's element, that I knew for sure, but chakra wasn't like elemental bending. One's chakra was transformed into the element that it most closely aligned with, or at least that's how I understood it. There were no hints in canon about being able to infuse the wind with chakra and 'feel' what it touched. Perhaps the closest I could remember was Gaara being able to infuse his chakra into his sand, but he was a special case.

…Then again, wasn't I?

Still gently tracing patterns on the steel of my new weapon, I began to channel my chakra and push it outward into the air around me, in as small an amount I could manage. Didn't need a repeat of earlier. Fortunately, unlike before, the air around me simply refused to soak up my chakra.

No, that wasn't true. I could feel tiny amounts of my chakra not return to my coils, but no itching sensation crawled over my skin.

Curious, I blew on the air in front of me, and an unpleasant tingle ran over my skin that set my teeth on edge. Luckily, my confusion outweighed my discomfort, and the sensation faded soon after.

So, it was actual _wind_ that allowed me to sense my chakra? Rather than just air? Was that why it was harder to infuse my chakra into static air? But wasn't wind just displaced air formed by warm and cold airflows? How did that make any sense whatsoever? Besides, wind chakra was supposed to be about making things sharper, not sensing them.

Gah, this was giving me a bigger headache than figuring out kanji!

The only way to actually figure out this weird wind-sensing would be to experiment with it and take copious notes.

.

.

.

Well, that could wait for me to learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu. All that sounded like Clone work.

After all, I had a sword to play with.

A grin grew across my face as I sheathed my sword and slung it over my shoulder. Unfortunately, it wasn't as smooth or as practiced as I wanted it to be, and the hilt smacked me in the back of the head.

"Ow…"

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As it turned out, even short swords can get very heavy when you swing them around for a long enough period of time. Naruto's body may have more stamina and was _far_ more used to physical exertion than mine was, but it wasn't used to this kind of movement. Within a few hours, my arms were trembling and my fingers were hard to pry off of the wood of the hilt.

I surely looked even more ridiculous than usual flailing my jian through the air with absolutely no grace or style, but I didn't particularly care. It had taken a bit of a trek to get to the forests that surrounded the Leaf Village, but it was worth the privacy. Many of the wide oaks that I hid myself in now had jagged grooves in their bark, and spots of sap now decorated the blade.

I leaned against one of the abused trees and panted, but my grin didn't abate in the slightest. This was a much better way to spend a Saturday morning than watching Brooklyn 99 reruns.

…Though I did miss TV quite a bit. It didn't help that the one fiction scroll I had nabbed from the library was at a higher reading level than I currently possessed, so I didn't even have that method of relaxing. I could always try playing around with my chakra, but I was somewhat leery of accidently discovering some new use for my chakra that hadn't appeared in canon.

Even thinking about my wind-sense made my skin crawl, and I shivered despite the warm weather. I really did not look forward to experimenting with that particular chakra power, even if it wouldn't really be _me_ doing the experimenting.

Then something clicked in my brain, and my gaze drifted upwards towards the high branches. Of course! There were still chakra control exercises I could do!

I made my way to my feet and looked around for something to clean the sap off my sword, but saw nothing. Grimacing, I relieved myself of my jacket and shirt and wiped the blade off with my black shirt, discarding it in a pile with my jacket.

Closing my eyes, I immersed myself in the flow of chakra within my coils. It was tempting to let it pour out in its traditional blue chakra cloak, but that wouldn't help me. I needed to channel chakra to the soles of my feet, not my whole body.

Chakra heeded my call and flowed to my feet, but the flow was irregular, and started and stopped no matter how hard I tried to get it to bend to my demands. Still, it would have to do.

I ran at the nearest tree, trying to keep the flow to my feet steady, even as the rhythm of my running pulled at my attention.

My right foot landed against the bark of the tree, and stayed there. I know because I lost my balance almost immediately and fell to the side, but my foot remained firmly attached to the bark. My ankle twisted in the wrong direction, and my chakra shuddered to a stop.

I fell to the ground and hissed as my fingers went to my ankle and probed it gently. It wasn't too bad, but it _hurt._ God, I was so stupid. Rushing into things wasn't my forte; I needed to think about this. My goal was to better control my chakra, both by making it perform a new function, i.e sticking to things, as well as control it all the way up the tree without getting distracted.

Hmmmm…

From my position on the ground, I gently set my feet against the bark of the tree and once again directed the flows of my chakra to my feet.

The bark underneath my feet splintered off in a tiny explosion that sent my feet flying away from the tree.

"Gah! Motherfuck!" I yelled. I had forgotten that too little chakra and I wouldn't stick, while too much would cause a tiny explosion.

Still muttering obscenities to myself, I set my feet back against the tree, just above where the bark had caved in. I wasn't hauling myself up and planting myself in front of another tree. I had just gotten used to the needles and leaves underneath this one.

I channeled my chakra again and made sure not to overdo it. One of my feet stuck, but the other one didn't, and I couldn't equalize it.

My eyes drifted downwards, and I noticed for the first time the dark, swirling seal imprinted on my stomach. The seal that held back the Nine-Tails. Kurama.

The drift in attention resulted in a fluctuation in my chakra, and a much larger flow of chakra was sent into the tree, resulting in another explosion, much larger than the last one, that sent splinters into the seat of my orange pants.

I yelped in shock as my feet were once again sent wide, and the seal on my stomach disappeared.

This was going to take a while.

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So if I tucked into a role at the last minute, maybe I could distribute enough momentum, but I had never done that before and this wasn't time to figure out if I could. The ground swayed underneath me.

"….Dead Last?" A voice interrupted me.

I glanced down, completely surprised to see none other than Sasuke Uchiha standing at the base of the tree with a brace of kunai in one of his hands. "God damnit, why are there so many people in the woods today?" I muttered to myself. It was statistically improbable for this to happen twice in one day.

"What are you doing up in that tree?" Sasuke asked, his normal scowl crinkled by a confused frown.

"Nothing. Training. Chakra stuff." I made a shooing gesture at the boy. "Go away."

The confused frown on Sasuke's face deepened. "What kind of chakra stuff?"

I rolled my eyes, and the branch underneath me shook. I scrambled and embraced the trunk of the tree until my heart rate calmed down. "Just, uh, sticking stuff." I got out. "Nothing you'd be interested in."

Despite my best interests, I glanced down to see if the Uchiha scion had disappeared. He hadn't, and his confused frown had turned into something I hadn't yet seen on his face: a shit eating grin. "You're not afraid of heights…are you, Dead Last?"

I scoffed. "What? No. I'm not afraid of heights." A breeze brushed up against me and I nearly shrieked as my balance was slightly upset. "I may have a slight fear of falling, however."

A glance back down showed that Sasuke still hadn't moved, and he appeared to be shaking. What was the matter with him?

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!" The prodigy burst out laughing, holding his stomach as he doubled over laughing. "It figures that the shortest person in the village would be afraid of heights. You're just not used to it." He mocked.

"Hey! That's not true! There are children…and midgets!" I defended weakly.

"Yup, and you just happen to be both." Sasuke agreed.

"You should really stop and consider all the heinous things I can do to you from up here." I threatened him. "I've been stuck up here for half an hour and I _really_ have to go."

"Maybe if you could pry yourself off of that tree for more than two seconds I would have something to fear." Sasuke replied calmly.

I leaned forward to yell at him some more, but the world began to spin around me and my stomach roiled. "It had to be you that found me…" I muttered to myself. How was that even possible? It really did seem to be too much of a coincidence, much too convenient. Something was going on here...

Unfortunately, Sasuke heard me. "Oh really?" He asked with a smirk. "You're not excited to see your 'greatest rival'? I guess if there's no way for you to profit off of it, you don't care?"

I blinked in surprise, but knew better than to run my mouth. "I have no idea what you're talking about." I said carefully.

The black-haired boy snorted and crossed his arms. "You know, they don't call me a genius for nothing." He said frostily. "And I do have, you know, _eyes_. I know you've been selling my stuff to fangirls."

I raised an eyebrow. "…And yet you don't seem to be mad."

Now it was Sasuke's turn to scoff. "Those freaks would get their hands on my stuff one way or another. While I'm not exactly happy you manipulated me…" He smirked. "But I seem to recall that the score is 4 to 3 in my favor, and everyone knows it, so I don't mind."

I snorted with amusement. "So, you don't care as long as everyone knows that you're better than me?" I asked rhetorically.

"Oh, everyone already knows that I'm better than you." He corrected. "But putting a number to it really helps drive it home."

"At least until Monday." I taunted.

"If you manage to get down from that tree by then." He shot back.

I normally don't think of myself as a competitive person, but no _child_ was going to talk that way to me and get away with it. Gulping, I allowed my chakra to surge out from my coils, directed not just to the soles of my feet, but to the insides of my hand as well.

The ground was swaying beneath me as I crawled down the tree slowly, freezing up every time my chakra hiccupped or swayed from its regular, controlled flow. By the time my feet touched the ground, I was soaked through with sweat, but managed a shaky grin for Sasuke's benefit. If he saw anything odd about the massive seal on my stomach, he didn't mention it.

"See, I told you I could do it!" I shot at the prodigy. In response, he pointed up the tree. Confused, I looked up at the branch I had been seated on and found that it was barely ten feet off the ground, even though it had seemed like much more when I had been up there. My face flooded with heat and I crossed my arms, looking away.

"Fine," I grumbled. "So, I don't like heights. It won't prevent me from-" Here I caught myself, as I almost said, 'saving the world', but remembered that wasn't Naruto's dream. "-Becoming Hokage."

"It probably won't help either." Sasuke pointed out. "Besides, what would posses you to get up in that tree if you're so afraid of heights?"

I gave Sasuke an odd look. All week he had been exactly as I had expected him to be, but despite being irritating and smug, he seemed perfectly alright with talking to me as if we didn't have years of enmity built up between us. Well, he and Naruto did.

What could've changed?

"It's a chakra control exercise." I said finally. "You focus chakra to your feet and it lets you stick to things."

Sasuke's expression became intent. "I've never heard of chakra being used like that."

I shrugged. "It's normally an exercise taught to genin. I saw some of them training and figured it out from there."

"If you're supposed to focus it to your feet, why did you come down with your hands?" He pointed out. "Unless it's just your crippling phobia of being higher up than three feet."

"It's not crippling! Just…inconvenient." I argued. "And that's…kind of part of it. But to be honest, I was getting pretty far up there for a while, but it's way too stressful just using your feet."

Sasuke frowned. "What do you mean?"

Instead of answering verbally (and because I had a flair for the dramatic), I decided a little demonstration was in order. I walked over to a random tree and stabilized my chakra flow to my feet. I walked a few steps up the tree and turned my head towards Sasuke with an eyebrow.

Instead of getting my point, Sasuke just looked confused. "And this is bad why?"

I waved my arms in the air (horizontally now) and pointed at my back. "Look, I may not weigh much, but I can _feel_ the stress this is putting on my spine! All of the weight that's supposed to be supported by my core and legs is instead supported by my _spine_."

Instead of paying attention to what I was saying, Sasuke was circling around me, eying my feet as they remained bonded to the tree. "How long did it take you to get to that level of control?" He asked inquisitively.

I glanced up at the skyline, seeing the setting sun in the distance. It hadn't even been afternoon when I had started. "Couple hours at least. It's not maintaining the connection once you're connected that's difficult, but matching your chakra flow to your steps, which gets harder the further up you go."

Sasuke scoffed, and a familiar smirk came to his face. It wasn't the normal smirk that he had when a teacher complimented him, but the competitive smirk I had come to know well over the past week. "Well, if you can do it, it can't be that hard."

I raised an eyebrow at him once again (man, that was cool, I couldn't do that in my original body). "Do I hear a challenge…my rival?" I walked back down the tree and pulled my jacket back on. If this was anything like canon, it would take a while, and nights could get chilly in the Leaf Village.

"I don't know, Dead Last?" He taunted, walking over to the tree. "I wouldn't want you to fall any further behind."

I smirked at the boy and began channeling chakra to my feet. I may not be a competitive person…

But I would be damned if I let him win this.

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**Another ~chapter~ for all my lovely readers to (hopefully) enjoy. I have a lot of ideas going forward, and though this is a bit of a filler chapter, I couldn't help but enjoy writing it, especially since I got to include bits like my fear of heights and fondness for metal pointy things. Almost makes me want to go do cool stuff in real life too.**

**...Nah.**

**Anyway, got my first negative review on this, which is cool. It was even kind of constructive, so I thought I'd address the issue he/she brought up.**

**First off, my SI learned kanji pretty quickly. That's a fair point, but he's learning from a child's kanji scroll, so he's no expert. He knows just enough to get by, and I think if you did very little but study something that seems more like a code than a language (because any and all verbal issues are English) you could get decently far. If that's not good enough for some people...meh.**

**Second off, stealing the hairpins being too overly complicated...I don't really get this one. This isn't about what anyone else would do, it's about what I would do, if that's not good enough just know that I'm not...the most intelligent guy. And to me, using skills I know I can depend on to avoid suspicion trumps risking drawing attention that I don't need.**

**Also, for anyone who takes issue with the wind-sense thing, just know that the point of it is something that starts with 'p' and ends with 'lot point'.**

**That's it for me, and don't forget to FOLLOW, FAVORITE, and REVIEW**


	5. Chapter 5

Bright Orange

Chapter 05: Actions

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"No, you cheated!" Sasuke shouted at me.

I glared blearily at the black-haired boy, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and leaves from my hair. It was too early in the morning for this…I think. I really needed to invest in a watch…were watches a thing here? I hadn't seen any yet.

"Don't be a Daisuke Downer, Sasuke." I murmured, picking a random Japanese name beginning with 'D', because I wasn't sure the name 'Debbie' existed here. "I got higher than you."

"Yeah, but only because you do that weird…spider thing." Sasuke argued. "How do I even know you were using chakra?"

I blinked in surprise. "Spider thing?" I supposed it did sort of look like how Spider-Man did his wallcrawling, but did Spider-Man exist in this universe for him to make that observation?

"You move exactly like a spider crawling up a wall." He defended quickly. "Or a squirrel."

"Let's go with spider. Spider is much cooler."

"Maybe if you agree that I _won_ that contest, I won't consider calling you Squirrel Boy in front of the whole class. I'm the most popular kid in class after all, I'm sure it wouldn't be that hard for it to catch on."

I gaped at the boy, still not in total control of my faculties. I was sure I could come up with some sort of plan…if only I had some coffee! "You are a devious bastard, you know that?" I muttered. "Fine, you win."

Sasuke looked very pleased with himself, which looked rather ridiculous considering that he had just as many leaves in his hair as I did, and his clothes were rumbled. In addition, his body was littered with splinters from when he had channeled too much chakra into the tree and they exploded.

That had happened to me more than a few times as well, but thanks to Kurama's chakra, I was fit as a fiddle. Well, as much as I could be after spending a night on the forest floor. I didn't have all the morning aches and pains that my old body had, and for that I was somewhat grateful.

Only somewhat, though. I still hadn't showered. It was too weird.

Sasuke grinned victoriously and stood up. "That makes it 5 to 3. You must be pretty ticked if you're calling me 'bastard' again." He mocked.

Oh yeah, that was right. Naruto normally called Sasuke 'teme', which was translated pretty well into 'bastard'. I may be a dick but calling a child a bastard was a little bit beyond me…if I hadn't just called him one.

Damn. Never thought I would reach this point in my life.

Sasuke snapped his fingers in front of my face, an annoyed look on his face. "I thought you were a morning person, Dead Last. Guess losing took more energy out of you than I thought."

I gave the boy a careful look, mulling over something I had been wondering ever since I had run into him yesterday. "Why are you being nice to me?" I asked bluntly. I probably should've been a bit subtler, but…Not a morning person.

Sasuke gave me an unreadable look. "What makes you think I'm being nice to you?" He asked stonily.

I gave the boy an annoyed glance as I got to my feet as well. "I may be an idiot, but I'm not stupid. You may be calling me Dead Last, and you are incredibly irritating but you're not being nearly as nasty as you could be, especially given our history."

Sasuke scoffed and glared at me. "You are right about one thing, Dead Last; you are stupid." He sneered and picked up the brace of kunai he had brought with him. "See you on Monday."

I stared at the back of the boy's head as he walked away, disappointed. I had hoped that whatever was making the boy act relatively positively would make him a bit more honest as well, but whatever I had done to make him like this didn't undo several years' worth of teetering on the edges of insanity.

Something tickled at the very edges of my mind as I watched Sasuke walk away. "Hey, bastard!" I yelled. "What were you doing out here anyway?"

"Nothing. Training. Kunai stuff." Sasuke deflected. I nearly laughed as he used nearly the same excuse I had to get out of answering something but bit it down.

"It wouldn't have anything to do with bouncing multiple different kunai off of one another to hit a hidden target, would it?" I 'guessed'. I didn't remember the specifics, but I do remember it being one of the things that Itachi had taught Sasuke. It was possible he had simply come out here to practice basic throws, but from what I had seen in class, he didn't need much practice.

Sasuke froze, and he turned to me. Any friendliness in his expression had completely iced over, and if he wasn't as young as my baby brother, I might've been intimidated. "How do you know about that?" He demanded. He stalked over and glared down his nose at me.

I stared up at him, trying not to let a grin tug at my lips. It wasn't the time. "You know, those fangirls follow you _everywhere_. I barely have to pay attention to know everything about you." It was even true, just not about the kunai trick. Whenever I wasn't paying attention in class (which was frequently) I could hear the fangirls talking about him and had learned a lot of unwelcome information.

For instance, I knew that Sasuke changed his underwear once every three days. Gross, and not helpful, but it was something I knew now.

Sasuke scowled. "Fine. Yes, that's what I was doing before I found you. Why?"

Why did I ask? I hadn't really planned that far ahead other than 'get Sasuke talking again' to see if he would let spill something about why he was acting weird.

"Because I taught you something." I said firmly. "So, you teach me something. I'm not…" I swallowed. "I'm not the best with kunai, so you're going to help me. Plus, I heard it looks badass."

Sasuke scoffed, which both surprised me and didn't at the same time. "You can't pick it up in a few days, Dead Last." He said. "It's something that takes months, _years_ , of time and effort."

I almost laughed in his face. It was weird hearing about hard work coming from someone who's whole character at some points boiled down to 'super-genius prodigy that's the best at everything'.

"You seemed to do pretty well at the tree-walking exercise." I gestured up at the tree. He hadn't gotten as far as he eventually would have in the Land of Waves, but it still was rather far up.

Sasuke waved a hand dismissively. "What we were just doing was basic chakra control. We've been doing more advanced Jutsu for years."

I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. Both as an expression of awkwardness, and because I wasn't used to doing it. "Yeah, if you haven't noticed…I'm not the best at those." I muttered, staring at the ground. Secretly though, I was ecstatic! If this conversation went the way I wanted it to…

"Then I'll help you with those." Sasuke said brusquely. "Hopefully you'll prove better at Jutsu than you are with kunai."

I glanced up at him, my smile finally bursting onto my face. "So you're saying…" I prompted.

Sasuke groaned. "Yeah, fine. You helped me with tree walking, even if I am _objectively better at it than you_ …so I'll help you with one Jutsu. Just one!" He warned. "I'm not a teacher, and I have better things to do today."

"Oh, don't worry," I reassured. "I already know which one I want help with."

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All of the Academy Three were invaluable, and I had read a _lot_ of fanfictions that hammered that home. The Transformation Jutsu was used so often that it had occasionally made it onto my list of Top Superpowers from Anime I Wish I Had, while Chunin Exam Day had outlines just how useful the Clone Jutsu could be in conjunction with the Shadow Clone.

But both of them paled before the immediate combat application of the Substitution Jutsu. I had theorized how it worked in my Gamers of the Elemental Nations fic, but Sasuke wasn't a big one for explanation. Once he had heard which Jutsu I wanted help with, he immediately wanted a demonstration rather than explaining the theory behind it.

However, to do that, we had to do a little walking. We had walked in silence, with Sasuke occasionally sending a curious look at my jian but otherwise refusing to ask. Finally, we came upon a rather large clearing that had a few kunai littered around it, with a decently sized boulder in the center and targets hung from the branches.

This must've been where he had been coming to train earlier, I realized.

"You're going to replace yourself with one of those logs." Sasuke pointed to one of the logs that was pushed off to the side, battered and dented. "Like so." With a flash of hand signs and a puff of smoke, he was gone, replaced by one of the logs, which thudded to the ground.

Then, Sasuke was back, and the log was gone.

Holy _crap_ that kid was fast. I hated to admit it, but I could kind of see why people said he was a prodigy.

Sasuke looked at me impatiently and I realized that I wasn't in for a fun time.

One of the things that made this difficult: I didn't know hand-signs. Yeah, I was a Naruto nerd, but I didn't memorize the hand signs, that was some next level stuff. The only one I knew was the Ram seal and the Shadow Clone sign, and that's just because they came up in every episode.

So, I clumsily shoved my fingers together, imitating Sasuke's as best I could, sent a prayer to whatever being had sent me here, and flooded my fingers with chakra, hoping that's how it worked.

Instead, it had an effect not unlike my early attempts to tree walk. Namely, an impressive amount of force, and it was all contained within my hands. I swallowed a scream of pain as my fingers bent the wrong way, and my hands were violently blown apart.

"Sweet Kami, I knew you were dumb, but I didn't think you were _this_ dumb!" Sasuke swore. "What did you do?"

"Uh, you know." I bit out through the pain, tears prickling in my eyes. "Hand signs plus chakra equals Jutsu."

Sasuke gave me a blank look. "I didn't even recognize any of the hand signs you just did. What were those?"

"There are different hand signs?" I said obliviously. It's all to save the world, it's all to save the world, it's all to save the world, I repeated to myself. I'm not an idiot, I'm not an idiot, I'm not an idiot.

"You're an idiot." Sasuke said flatly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I'm not going to teach you all the hand signs, that's Iruka's job."

"You did promise to help me with the Substitution Jutsu." I reminded him.

Sasuke groaned. "Fine," he bit out. "Here are the hand signs. I trust you know the rest?" He asked sarcastically.

"Duh. Of course."

I did not.

Sasuke walked me through each of the five hand signs, each of which _really_ hurt my probably broken fingers, but despite his seeming apathy, Sasuke didn't stop drilling me until I knew them by heart.

"What are the hand signs?" Sasuke yelled at me.

"Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, Snake!" I yelled, forming the hand signs as I said the names. Even as I responded to the boy, I was paying attention to the flows of my chakra. I wasn't actually doing anything with the hand-signs yet, and still I could sense minute changes in my chakra. Why was that? Was it a placebo? But I hadn't grown up here, there had been no time to instill me with any desired results. Well, except for watching the anime. Did that count?

"Naruto!" Sasuke snapped. "Pay attention!"

"I'm awake, Iruka-sensei!" I said reflexively. The prodigy glared at me, and I felt heat rush to my face. "I mean, I think I'm ready to try the Jutsu now."

"You better be…" Sasuke muttered under his breath. "Or else I'm gonna-"

"-Trying to manipulate Space-Time over here!" I interrupted the boy. Alright, time to think. Flowing chakra to my hands didn't work, and I didn't want to accidently activate my wind-sense by flooding chakra into the outside world.

Time to just hope for the best and go for it…

Because that had worked out well so far, I thought sarcastically.

"Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, Snake: Substitution!"

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"Tiger, Boar, Ox, Dog, Snake: Substitution!"

"Yup, I think you're getting it now." Sasuke said lazily. He was leaned up against a tree, his legs crossed in front of him as he took a bite out of his lunch.

I glared at him in between pants of breath and gave him a very particular hand sign that had nothing to do with chakra manipulation. He snorted and sent it back to me. "Ready to give up? I'd like to get in some training of my own today."

"No one's- "Wheeze. "-Stopping you, - "Pant. "-Bastard." I got out. By my own estimation, I was only down a fourth of my chakra reserves, but my body wasn't used to expelling that amount of energy, even if it was used to containing it. I would have to get used to it.

"Iruka would be rather irritated if I dragged you in on Monday with a bunch of my kunai stuck in your body." Sasuke said mildly. After laughing himself sick at my expense, he had really chilled out.

"Aw, look at you, Sasuke. You do care about sensei." I mocked, getting back my breath. My legs trembled underneath me, but I managed to keep upright.

Sasuke scoffed. It seemed to be his favorite thing to do. "He has taught me a few useful things." He said begrudgingly. "I've figured out more on my own, of course, but he manages to be good at his job…sometimes."

I rolled my eyes. From Sasuke, that was as close to a compliment as one could get. Sakura would've fainted to get that much positive attention from him.

The sun at this point was high in the sky. It was so high that Sasuke had gone back into town to grab lunch (only for himself of course) and come back, and that was after several hours of non-stop training.

I was getting closer, I could _feel_ it. It was so frustrating, both because I didn't know the proper theory to implement it (thought I could divine some from Sasuke's occasional comment) and my chakra was as irregular as always. Sometimes I would tug on it and a flood would answer my call, other times less than a trickle, though of course it was much easier to summon a flood. I could understand why Naruto was so bad at chakra control, his chakra was so unwilling to cooperate!

Hm, that did remind me. Technically, any and all human chakra originated from the Tree, a divine being. We were working with stolen property, trying to bend it to our whims. I remembered one story, though its name escaped me, in which Naruto became similarly divine, and his chakra was much more pliable to his demands.

Too bad I couldn't become divine on command.

Although…

I may not be able to do anything about becoming god-like (if I could, then I wouldn't be torturing myself over the Substitution Jutsu), but another system of magic popped into my mind as I mulled over how I could better control my chakra.

The Mithermage series was a set of modern-day fantasy novels, and one of the big plot points in the last book was that a human could gain much greater control of their magic and their bodies as long as they accepted one another on a deeper level. Magic wasn't the same as chakra, but I would never get anywhere if I wasn't willing to experiment.

Worst case scenario, I fail, and get a nice meditation session out of it.

Best case scenario, I find a better way of controlling my chakra…and maybe Senjusu if I was particularly lucky!

After all, running into both Tenten and Sasuke had been quite enormous strokes of luck.

"Dead Last, what're you doing?" Sasuke questioned from his position, eyeing me curiously.

"Meditating. Someone said it can help you recover chakra faster." I lied.

"Oh, and here I thought you were merely too tired to go on." Sasuke mocked.

"Shut up, chicken." I mumbled.

"What was that?" He growled.

I shut out all sound and was awash on a sea of darkness.

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Perhaps, 'awash on a sea of darkness' was putting it too romantically. Really, I was just sitting with my eyes closed. My back started to ache right away, and my nose started to itch too, but I tried to ignore all that and instead focused on my chakra.

I accept you, I repeated in my mind. Accept me.

Now that there was less of it, I found it much easier to sense the flows of it within my coils. Huh. Maybe that was why I was finding it somewhat easier to do the Substitution Jutsu, in addition to getting more experience with it. Less chakra meant I had less to struggle with.

I shook my head with irritation and took a deep breath to steady myself.

I accept you, I repeated in my mind. Accept me.

Man, this was boring. I could feel my chakra slowly start to replenish itself, and the gentle flows started to get swallowed up by raging torrents once more. I tried following them, letting the chakra control me instead of letting me control it for a change, but it didn't seem to do much, and my mind started wandering again.

I needed to get new clothing at some point, but I spent most of my money on my sweet new sword. I really should try to find a swordsman to teach me stuff and some point, but who? Maybe Zabuza, he was cool. And maybe I'd finally find out it Haku was really a boy or a girl…

My teeth ground together as I jerked my thoughts back into line. This was about syncing myself with my chakra, I reminded myself.

I accept you, I repeated in my mind. Accept me.

.

.

.

_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

I opened my eyes, and found myself standing in ankle deep water, somewhere in a cold, spacious sewer.

"Oh, come the fuck _on!_ "

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_Splash, splash, splash_

"Okay, I could accept maybe stumbling across Tenten in the forest, I can wrap my brain around that. It's a stretch, but it's within the realm of possibility."

The tunnel began to lighten, and a massive row of bars came into my field of view, stretching up to meet a ceiling that lay several stories over my head.

_Splash, splash, splash_

" **Ah, it appears that my jailor finally decides to pay me a visit."** The force of his voice nearly pushed me over, and the words reeked of malice…though strangely the breath itself didn't stink. Probably because he didn't have a proper digestive track, nor did he need to eat.

_Splash, splash, splash_

"I suppose I could even accept Sasuke stumbling across me training, even though the odds are _astronomical_ that I would run into somebody I knew, much less one of the few people who've I've recently radically altered my relationship with, even though I would have better odds winning the lottery while getting blown by the Queen of England!"

" **I must admit, you are look exactly like her. Your mother, that is. You have her face."** The Nine Tails taunted from behind his bars. I could just make out the thin paper seal on the front that held back his enormous power.

_Splash, splash, splash_

"I could accept. _All_ that. Hell, I could accept the random wind-sensor thing that had _no_ indication of being in canon, after all that's the sort of fucked up situation I'm in-"

Enormous, bloodshot red eyes glared down at me, the irises the size of buses. **"I am aware that you humans look down on us Tailed Beasts."** He hissed. **"But to not even** _ **look at me-"**_

"Not in the mood, Kurama!" I snapped at the massive fox, not stopping my pacing for even one second before resuming my rant. "-But I cannot, not for one second, imagine that it was easy enough as _meditating_ for Naruto to reach the seal, when in canon he had to _fall off a goddamn cliff._ Hax! I call hax! Whatever fucked up cosmic entity did this to me, reveal yourself now, because I swear in the name of sweet baby Jesus himself I will rip your goddamn balls off and beat you to death with them."

There was an explanation for all of this. I knew it. It danced along the edges of my mind, but I refused to verbalize it. To admit that all of this, the room around me, my very body, my very _being_ , was nothing but…words on a page.

My words echoed in the enormous jail room. Then a growl shook the water beneath my feet, waves nearly knocking me down.

" **How do you know that name?"** Kurama threw his massive body against the bars of his cell, which shook thunderously. They didn't give an inch, but the Tailed Beast continued ramming against it, sending waves of both water and force crashing over me. **"** _ **Tell me!"**_

Kurama's enormous face came into the light, and dear Lord, was it ever unsettling. I had been able to stomach seeing Iruka, Mizuki and the Konoha Twelve, they just looked like weird cosplayers. But Kurama…

He was definitely a fox, though his massive, russet colored ears would look more at home on a cartoon rabbit than on anything else. His red, slit eyes, filled with animalistic fury, also were far too expressive and intelligent for any mere animal, though that only had the effect of making him look even more horrifying.

His hands, for they were definitely hands, were also humanoid, with long furry thumbs on each hand, though they were still tipped with massive claws that could easily bisect skyscrapers.

What was the hardest to comprehend about him…was his sheer size. I had seen buildings before that went dozens upon dozens of stories up in the air, and mansions that covered acres of land. I had seen the sea in all its raging glory, looked out at the stars millions of lightyears away held within an ever-expanding universe.

None of them had ever managed to scare me as much as Kurama did.

He wasn't as tall as a skyscraper, nor as sprawling as a mansion. He wasn't as powerful as the sea (or so I hoped), and he wasn't as mysterious as the stars.

The difference between the Tailed Beast and all the other things I'd listed, was that none of those things could ever _hate_ you.

And the Tailed Beast hated me. I could feel it with every ever-shortening breath I took, with every tensing muscle in my body. Every neuron that fired sizzled with the knowledge that this immense being who had razed villages to the ground and cooked countless shinobi within their own skin wanted me to die, and in the most painful manner possible.

Despite all of that, despite the sheer fear that was clawing its way up my throat, I felt the burn of shame even deeper. There was no chakra in this action. This wasn't even a projection of killing intent like some shinobi could do, I was simply shutting down at the mere thought that something so human and at the same time so _not_ wanted me dead.

My eyes caught not on the enormous claws that tried to force their way past the bars, nor on the furious red eyes that were trained on my face, but on Kurama's fur. Even from a distance, it looked soft and fluffy, like a well-maintained orange carpet.

Part of my mind that was somehow free from the terror and wonder that the week had brought me demanded that I go over and pet it.

And somehow that broke the spell. A desperate, maniacal laughter bubbled up in my throat and slowly began to beat back the Nine Tail's roared threats and the attempted smashing of its prison. I laughed until my tears burned and blinded me, until my lungs screamed for air, I laughed until I felt somewhat like myself again.

Even as I managed to calm myself though, I knew I had forgotten something. Kurama's presence was intimidating, but whatever revelation I had been on the verge of having, it was gone.

And I couldn't help but be grateful.

I wasn't sure how long I laid in the dirty sewer water, staring at the ceiling, twitching and giggling, but by the time I was done, Kurama had gone completely silent. He had retreated in his cage to the point that I once again could only see his red eyes and the fangs poking out of his mouth.

A slightly jealous part of my brain complained that a Tailed Beast's teeth were whiter than those of my original body, and I choked back another fit of insane giggles.

And insane was right. I was sure that for a few moments there, I had been mere millimeters away from complete insanity. And then who would save the world?

It was a sobering thought.

I made my way to my feet and found that I was completely soaked through. I groaned. Apparently, I would have to learn the water walking technique in reality before I could come here without getting wet. And here I thought mindscapes were supposed to be convenient.

Aaaaaaaand I was still in Naruto's body. Or rather, in his mind. The representation of his mind? Whatever. The point was that when I looked down, I was dressed in a familiar orange jumpsuit, though no sword was slung over my shoulder. I wondered why that was.

"… **What is wrong with you?"** The Nine Tails rumbled. His voice didn't threaten to knock me over, but it wasn't quiet either. If I was in my physical body, I was sure my eardrums would be throbbing.

"Not a very nice question to ask someone you just met." I responded instinctively before slapping my hand over my mouth. Nice going man, this thing's mere presence nearly drives you insane and you decide to mock it?

" **Perhaps I would ask a nicer question were I not talking to the person who keeps me prisoner."** The Nine Tails scowled down at me, which was significantly more intimidating when you have actual meat-rending canines at your disposal. Though in his case, they were more suited to tearing open mountains.

"Hey, I had no choice in that." I protested. "I was a baby. I couldn't even poop properly."

Kurama broke out into a (you guessed it) foxlike grin. **"Then rip this seal off the bars and set right what once went wrong."** He purred. Okay, that was profoundly creepy.

"You do know that ripping off that seal will do nothing?" I asked flatly, crossing my arms and trying not to flinch as he glared at me. "The Fourth Hokage wasn't an idiot; the seal needs a key to open." And answering this way conveniently side-stepped the question of whether or not I would actually open the Nine Tails' cage.

I probably would. Eventually. When he freaked me out a little bit less. And was less likely to drive me to my knees with the force of his hatred.

" **Excuse me for not knowing the finer points of the Sealing Arts."** Kurama rumbled. **"I've been stuck within an idiot child for a decade."**

"A decade and a fifth." My mouth said. I would've glared at it if I could. Stupid mouth. You were only supposed to act up around pretty women.

The enormous fox eyed me up and down, which was almost impressive considering I was the size of a Lego figure compared to him. **"You didn't answer my question."** It growled. **"If I didn't know better, I would say you weren't even Naruto Uzumaki."**

I winced. My slip up by knowing his name had put the Tailed Beast on guard. He knew something was up. But I couldn't exactly tell him the Truth, could I? Finding out that you were just a character in a story was enough to drive one insane.

…Brrr, why was there a sudden chill in here?

Anyway, I definitely couldn't tell Kurama the Truth. That left lying. But I wasn't sure whether or not his Negative Emotion Sensing would extend to lying as well. Pissing off the enormously powerful fox by lying didn't seem like a good idea, but it was better than the alternative.

"I'm not sure what you mean. Naruto Uzumaki and I are one and the same." I said evenly. In a way, it could even be true. I possessed his body, his chakra, hell even his _mental projection_. For all intents and purposes, I was Naruto Uzumaki now.

And yet I knew that Kurama could likely see the churning guilt that I felt every time I thought of the child whose life I had stolen.

" **Naruto Uzumaki would not know my name. No living human would."** Kurama rumbled. **"And I can smell the guilt on you. Who are you really?"**

Shit. My pulse spiked, but I wasn't done by a long shot, and I looked Kurama in the eye as best I could. "I am Naruto Uzumaki, though not the same Naruto Uzumaki that existed five days ago. The reason that you can sense guilt from me is because I killed that Naruto Uzumaki."

The Nine Tails lowered his massive head closer to the ground, and I could see my reflection in his pupil. **"…If you know my name, surely you know that you cannot lie to me."**

Again, I pondered my response. I could reveal that I knew that he could only sense negative emotions, not lies, but if he believed that I thought I couldn't get away with lying, then he would believe everything I said was the truth.

…Then again, it would make him doubt the rest of my knowledge if I didn't know that as well. And if he discovered that I had believed his lie just so that I could get away with lying myself…

Ugh, this was already a nightmare.

"Wrong." I shot back. "I know that you can sense negative emotions, not lies. I know that because you tell Naruto Uzumaki that, just like you tell him your name."

I took a breath as I prepared to continue, only for the massive fox to cut me off. **"Time travel."** Kurama's massive eyelids slid over his eye in a slow, lazy blink. **"You're telling me that you're from the future."** It was a statement, not a question.

Wow. Kurama was smarter than I gave him credit for. I had had a whole speech planned that was now unnecessary. Then again, from his wording it was clear that he didn't necessarily _believe_ it was time travel, just that I was going to tell him I was.

"Well…not exactly." I admitted, rubbing the back of my head. "Sort of. In a way."

Something in the cage thrashed that I suspected was one of Kurama's massive tails. **"Explain."** He ordered.

The words all rushed out of me, as if I were relieved to get them off my chest. "Look, I'm from the future. Hundreds of years into the future. Thousands. Far enough in the future that everything that happens here and now is nothing but a distant legend." It wasn't difficult to pull up nervous emotions, given that Kurama was _fucking terrifying_.

I took a deep breath and licked my lips, as if steeling myself. "In my time, chakra has almost disappeared. People with smaller chakra capacities just kept popping up and having more children until eventually we were unable to channel chakra properly. That's when…" I winced, and pulled up memories of the Holocaust, memories of all of the worst things about the future that I could, forcing Kurama to see my fear.

"That's when the Ten Tails returned."

The Tailed Beast remained silent, but I could see his pupils dilate, and I could hear the sudden absence of his tails moving that I hadn't even noticed before. **"How is that possible?"** He demanded. **"If what you say about the disappearance of chakra is true, then how did someone manage to merge us back into that…"** He struggled to find words, and I felt a surprising pang of empathy for him. Reforming back into the Ten Tails would be as horrifying for him as any assimilation story would be to humans.

"Because you weren't merged together in my time. In my past, three years from this time period, the same man who made you attack the Leaf Village will have sealed eight of the nine Tailed Beasts within the Ten Tails' husk. Then he would find a way to retrieve your Yin half from the stomach of the Shinigami and would complete its revival." I lied.

Mentioning Kurama's Yin half was dual-fold; it would further show off knowledge that no one else could possibly have unless they were from the future (or read it in a mange), as well as help set up the rest of my little tale.

Kurama stayed silent and let me continue. "The reason that he didn't go after _this_ you is because Naruto Uzumaki and you had become partners, friends even, and became one of the nation's most powerful shinobi. However, after the Ten Tails reformed, it didn't matter how powerful he was. You yourself told him that it was impossible to defeat something that powerful."

I took a deep breath. "So, Naruto did what his family is so well known for: he sealed her. With yours and his power combined, he managed to seal her in another dimension, but the effort of it killed both of you. He died a hero. _You_ died a hero."

I walked closer to the bars, until I was mere feet away from the massive bars of Kurama's prison, close enough that he might be able to pass enough of a claw through to kill me. "The future is lost, Kurama. It became lost the moment the Ten Tails was reformed and chakra started to disappear. Naruto Uzumaki was my past, just as Asura Hagomora was his. I don't have any experience with chakra, but I have been taught the information needed to stop Madara Uchiha before his insane plan can go through. For the sake of the future, both mine and yours, I need your help."

A bead of sweat made its way down my face, and I hoped it was too small for Kurama to spot it. This was an impressive amount of steaming bullshit, even for me. Luckily, I hadn't had to come up with it all on the spot. The story was an amalgamation of a dozen different Naruto fanfiction, and though it would be easy to jerk away from the story, I knew too much about things that were supposed to be lost forever to _not_ take me seriously.

I could've just lied and said that I was _actually_ Naruto from the future, but the chakra-less future gave me an excuse for if the Tailed Beast ever noticed my lack of skill with Jutsu, as well as general lack of combat ability.

It was just the right amount of truth and bullshit.

"… **Leave."** The Tailed Beast ordered.

My heart sunk. I supposed even if getting inside the seal was oddly easy, swaying Kurama would take quite a bit more effort. Damn it, why couldn't anything ever be easy?

I could've stayed. I probably should've. But getting on Kurama's nerves wouldn't help convince him, and to be honest, just looking at him was very unnerving. I managed to jerk my face into a sad smile and splashed my way back to the entrance.

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My eyes were gritty and sticky with gum when I got them open. I grimaced as I rolled my shoulders and made my way jerkily to my feet, not even able to feel my legs. I must've been out for quite a while, especially given that the sun seemed to be lower in the sky again. I had meditated most of the day today. Given that my talk with Kurama couldn't have taken more than ten minutes, either time passed way slower in my mind (which made very little sense), or my little brush with hysteria had taken longer than I had thought.

"Well, at least that was a good use of my time." I muttered sarcastically to myself. I shut my eyes briefly to check on my chakra and found it almost completely back. Man, Naruto's regeneration was no joke.

"Well, looks like your beauty sleep didn't do much." I heard from behind me. I turned saw Sasuke leaning up against a tree, his eyes narrowed. "And because you _refused_ to move, I couldn't train."

Despite his complaining, there was something off about his expression as they flickered briefly over my form. A grin grew on my face. "Why, Sasuke, you almost sound _concerned_ about me." I shot back.

The boy immediately scoffed. "Of course not. But I didn't want to accidently hit you. Cleaning blood off of kunai is time consuming."

"You would only hit me if you missed pretty badly, which doesn't speak well of your so-called 'skills'." I pointed out gleefully.

"Unless I _wanted_ to hit you. Which of course I wouldn't. But it wouldn't be out of line for even prodigy like myself to screw up occasionally, especially with your snoring distracting me." He held up one of the kunai threateningly. "Of course, anyone halfway competent with the Replacement Jutsu could avoid it."

"I think I can be considered at least 'quarter way competent' now." I joked. I probably wasn't even halfway that. "But I don't think you could've hit me even while I was asleep."

"Oh really?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Dodge this then."

I was right in the middle of a great eye-roll when he actually threw it at me.

Time didn't slow down, nor did my thoughts speed up. I saw light glint off of the projectile and, in a motion like jerking your arm away from a hot stove, threw my hands together faster than I had ever managed in practice.

Tigerboaroxdogsnake.

The world suddenly rushed by me, and I heard the sound of metal screeching off of rock just before I fell to my knees, my fingers digging into the rough, jagged gravel around me. The rock that bit into my hands drew blood, but it was a distant secondary sensation to the vertigo that washed over me.

My throat worked futilely for a few seconds, then I finally managed to vomit. I barely managed to suck down a breath of fresh air before nausea once again overtook me and I vomited again. And again. Until there was nothing left in my stomach and dry heaves shook my entire body.

I heard footsteps, and then there was some sort of cloth being offered to me. I shakily wiped off my face and took the offered hand as it pulled me out of the mess my own sick had made.

Sasuke's face was white, and he quickly directed me to lie down as he went to grab water from somewhere.

On an intellectual level, I knew nothing was wrong with my body, but that didn't help. Shuddering, I closed my eyes and tried to retreat into the feeling of my chakra flowing through my coils.

…But there was too little.

Whereas before my chakra was an ocean, now it was a puddle, spurting and shaking inside my chakra coils. I had used up well over three fourths of my chakra all at once.

And I had barely been able to handle using just one fourth earlier that morning.

My eyes flickered open and drifted over to where I could smell the sour stench of stomach acid. There was a wide, shallow pit filled with sharp, jagged rocks, and on the far side of it was a kunai target.

In the other direction was the spot where I had spent several hours meditating. Only now it was completely crushed underneath a large rock, easily twice over my size, by which sat a dented kunai.

As another shudder wracked my body and my eyes flickered shut, I noted that this had been a pretty shitty weekend overall.

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**Well, here we go. Another chapter, and the one that I had the least fun writing, but one that I felt was necessary. And I'm sure that people have questions, so I'll attempt to head some of them off.**

**First, the SI learning the Substitution Jutsu. I'm sure some people won't like that he managed to pull it off at the end when he knew no Jutsu beforehand, but I deemed it acceptable. Have you ever spent all day practicing piano and then had your fingers tapping on everything for a week? That's why he was able to manage it so quickly, and even then, it was absolutely** _**brutal** _ **on him. Chakra exhaustion isn't without its consequences.**

**Secondly, Sasuke. I don't hate him. I hate how Kishimoto dealt with him and his character arc, but at this point, he's just a fucked-up kid, and Naruto was noted as being the closest thing that he had to a friend even when they hated each other. Sasuke is kind of chill here both because Naruto is treating him as a person and because Naruto is still weak enough that he isn't making Sasuke feel inadequate.**

**Third, the Kurama section. The reason the SI slipped up is because he was just on the verge of discovering that he himself is nothing but a fabrication, and I do wholly believe that can drive someone insane. Everything else was just an attempt to cover that up.**

**As for why it was so easy for the SI to slip inside the seal and meet Kurama…well, there's certainly no reason for that. Certainly not anything that has any relevance to the plot and the SI's character arc.**


	6. Chapter 6

Bright Orange

Chapter 06: Deceptions

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For the first time in both of my lives, I felt like I could leap right out of bed upon coming awake. Unfortunately, that was not possible, as I was restrained by several thick leather belts that kept me from moving, just tight enough to keep me from moving but not enough to seriously prevent blood flow.

If my erratic dreams hadn't been enough, I was definitely awake now. Being restrained was never anything good. I couldn't dwell on my dreams, as vague and erratic as they had been. Something about little buzzing insects with knit hats. Gnats?

My eyes swept the room and found that it wasn't a jail cell like I had half-feared upon feeling the belts holding me down, but rather a hospital room…. or some sort of insane asylum. The white paint on the walls and clean white linens on the beds were indicative of one of the two.

I could still move my head and did so, bringing into my field of vision a familiar looking bag of liquid perched atop a metal rod, the bag connected to my arm by a line of slender tubing. Hospital then.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Being in a hospital wasn't necessarily a sign that nothing was wrong. I wasn't sure what exactly chakra exhaustion did to a person but given what I had experienced before I had passed out, it probably wasn't good. Maybe I was just being kept safe so that I wouldn't die. After all, why else would I be restrained if it wasn't going to be interrogated. Was it using too much chakra that tipped them off? Maybe being friendly with Sasuke? Speaking of which, how had I ended up here, had Sasuke carried me back to the Village?

Too many questions, and no one was around to answer them. Given my status as resident superweapon, there was probably somebody nearby that I could summon by yelling, but I needed time to think.

Closing my eyes, I checked my chakra reserves and found them to only be three-quarters full. I didn't know how long I had been out, but apparently not very long if only half of my chakra had regenerated. After all, it hadn't even taken me long to regain the quarter reserve of chakra that I had spent spamming the Substitution Jutsu.

Just the thought of the Substitution made bile rise up in my throat as I remembered the state I had been in. I had used _so much_ chakra. Hell, from what I could remember Naruto as a genin was supposed to have four times the chakra that a jonin like Kakashi did. That meant I had used enough chakra to kill a legend like the Copy-Cat Ninja just to Substitute myself with a fucking rock.

That Substitution hadn't been clean either. Whatever space-time anomaly the Substitution Jutsu created, it was supposed to engulf the entirety of both objects. What I had done with the rock had taken most of it…but not all. I distinctly remembered the jagged bits of stone that had stabbed into my hands. If I had to compare it to anything, it was like I had forced an Apparition on the rock and it had gotten Splinched in the process.

And given how sloppily I had cast it, it was mere luck that the same thing hadn't happened to me. My stomach turned sidewise as I remembered Naruto's regeneration didn't extend to re-growing limbs.

I _had_ to get a better hold on my chakra. Yes, having large amounts of it to throw into Jutsu was great, but I wasn't accustomed to deadly situations and had pulled on more chakra than I could handle using. More chakra than I knew was possible to channel into a relatively beginner Jutsu like the Substitution.

This, of course, only made things more complicated. With the motivation I had foolishly given Mizuki, he would likely be ready to move in on the Scroll of Sealing by the end of the week, and I was woefully underprepared to fight him if I couldn't figure out the Shadow Clone Jutsu in time. What if he got there too quickly and I had to fight him without it? My fighting skills were awful, and I now knew one Jutsu, but it had taken the threat of being stabbed for me to use it effectively and even _then_ I had knocked myself out using it.

What if….

What if….

_Knock knock_

The noise upon the wood of the door drew me out of my increasingly dark thoughts and I instinctively tried to sit up, only to be forcibly reminded of restraints.

An old, dignified voice with the slight rasp of a constant smoker drifted through the door, "Naruto, are you awake?"

My blood, still pumping erratically at my spiraling thoughts about Mizuki, went utterly cold. I swallowed a hard lump in my throat and tried to ignore the gibbering panic at the very back of my mind. "Come on in, old man."

The door slid aside, revealing a short squat man with tanned, leathery skin dressed in loose red and white robes. Perched atop his head was an odd white hat that had a red kanji on it that I could now tentatively read.

Fire Shadow.

The old man's eyes were set deep in his skull and shadowed by his hat, but they were kind as they looked at me and he made his way to a chair at my bedside. He deftly began to undo the leather restraints on me. "I do apologize for the restraints, my boy. Unfortunately, your struggling made it very hard to administer IVs, which I would recommend keeping in by the way." His voice was very calming, like a nice leather armchair.

I slowly sat up and tried not to look like I was panicking or watching Hiruzen Sarutobi. Even as a civilian, I had known a lot of people that I feared to upset. My grandfather was a man of quiet power even as he got older and weaker, a silent calm that I knew could turn to great fury. My teacher could and did give students panic attacks when he screamed at them. One of my friends was a martial artist that could've broken every bone in my body. I knew to not piss those people off, and some part of my hindbrain would whisper to me when someone fell into the 'don't make angry' category.

For the first time in either of my lives, that quiet whisper was screaming.

Hiruzen Sarutobi was _dangerous_. He was a shinobi, after all, and likely had performed and ordered missions that had resulted in dozens of deaths. That wasn't what made him _dangerous_. What made him _dangerous_ was that I was sitting not two feet from him, wearing the body of a boy he considered a grandson, and if anyone would be able to notice the gaps in me and Naruto, it would be the man who was responsible for protecting the Leaf Village, who was the prodigy of the First and Second Hokages, who was hailed as the Professor.

And if he figured out that I both wasn't Naruto and that I had knowledge of the future…well, I doubt he would be looking so kindly at me. A violent shiver wracked my spine.

"Naruto, my boy? How are you feeling?" The Hokage asked with concern. He sat down and took off his hat, revealing the tufts of white hair that clung to his scalp.

"I…don't feel good, old man." I got out. That was good. It was plausible. Keep to plausible, neutral subjects. After all, I was in the hospital, it was perfectly acceptable to not feel well. It helped that I really didn't feel good either. I hadn't noticed when I had been laying down, but Naruto's body felt heavy, and sore in odd places.

Sarutobi chuckled. "That is to be expected. Chakra exhaustion is not something that one recovers from easily, Naruto."

Alright, how would Naruto act? Well, he never really had a filter to begin with, and he would be comfortable complaining to somebody to Sarutobi given that they were like family…or would he?

I gave the man a tired smile and puffed out my chest. "This is nothing for the Leaf's greatest Hokage!"

When in doubt, go for bravado.

Sarutobi laughed openly this time, and he pulled out a small, ornate pipe with a metal bowl. "Last I checked, I was still alive, my boy." He said. "Though I do have to say, you have made some progress since you last made that pronouncement."

Pronouncement. Big word. I wondered if the real Naruto would've recognized it. "Really?" The question slipped out. "How?"

The Hokage tapped some powder into the pipe and raised it to his mouth. Something shimmered in the air around him, and then smoke began to softly putter out from the bowl. I blinked in surprise. Had he lit his pipe with chakra?

"Well, there has been a distinct lack of pranking going on lately, and Iruka has said you haven't ditched class all week. Maybe you've finally developed a work ethic?" Sarutobi sucked on his pipe and smirked at me, leaning back in his chair.

I felt vaguely indignant on Naruto's behalf. Yes, I understood the importance of going to class when it was your ninja skills that hung in the balance, but… Iruka's lessons were honestly very boring. Or at least his lectures were.

As I mulled over how to respond, Sarutobi continued to talk. "Plus, I've heard that you and the young Sasuke have finally put aside your rivalry."

I had to stop my eyes from narrowing in suspicion. All of my little money-making competitions with Sasuke had been purposely set before Iruka or Mizuki came to the classroom, so the only way that he would know that was if he had been spying on me.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh _shit_. I had forgotten that Sarutobi had that crystal ball that he could use to watch the village with. As long as he had that, none of my activities would be safe, and when I was alone I had the habit of engaging in some very un-Naruto-like actions.

"Pfft. He's not my friend." I finally said. There. That sounded like something Naruto would say. "He's a jerk."

Sarutobi blew out a small cloud of smoke that had a surprisingly pleasant aroma. "Really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Then I suppose the reason that the ANBU who found Sasuke taking care of you after your accident was…a coincidence?"

Well, that explained how I had gotten here. Sasuke hadn't dragged me to the hospital, though I didn't blame him for that. It was normally advised not to move someone having a breakdown like that, and he couldn't send someone else to get help. I hoped the kid hadn't freaked out too much.

Unfortunately, his explanation for how he knew Sasuke and I were kind-of-friends didn't exclude the possibility of him using his crystal ball. I still needed to find a way to either shield myself from it or take it from him. That was all in the future though. For now…

"Yes. It was a coincidence." I 'affirmed'. Revealing the truth-that Sasuke had been training me in the use of the Substitution Jutsu- was so far out of character for Naruto that if I told it I might as well turn myself into Ibiki right now.

Sarutobi gave me a look. "It was!" I protested.

"Really? Because young Sasuke said that he was helping you with the Substitution Jutsu. I must ask you not to hold it against him, as we had to know what happened to tell what must be done to help you." Sarutobi told me.

Well, that actually resolved the situation nicely. Thanks for the excuse, Sarutobi. Still, I had a role to play. I puffed out my cheeks and turned away, crossing my arms. "So what? So he helped me. Doesn't mean we're friends."

A gentle hand was laid on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. My eyes swiveled back to Sarutobi, who was looking at me seriously. "Naruto, while I'm glad that you feel comfortable seeking help from your friends, I must ask why you didn't ask for Iruka's help? It is his job, after all."

I fidgeted under his gaze and came up with an excuse on the spot. Quickly bringing up as many embarrassing memories as I could, I let blood pool into my face and looked down at my hands. "I didn't…" I muttered, "I didn't want Sensei to think I was dumb, especially with the exam coming up."

The man's hand left my shoulder, and out of the corner of my eye I could see surprise flash across his face, and then his features softened. "Naruto, my boy," He said softly. "You never have to worry about looking stupid for asking for help. The kinds of people who would judge you for that aren't the kind of people you would want as teachers anyway."

"That doesn't change things." I mumbled. "I'm not as…smart as the others." The words hurt to say, and I uncomfortably reminded myself that I was playing a role. "And I don't want Iruka to know that so close to the exam."

"Naruto, you don't have to worry. You still have six months until the graduation exam. That's still plenty of time to brush up on your Jutsu." Sarutobi said soothingly.

I had to forcibly restrain my head from snapping up in Sarutobi's direction. Six months? _Six months?_ Here I thought that I had _weeks_ until I was thrown headlong into the world of killer ninjas after me. I had bullshitted Mizuki with that whole Orochimaru thing because I thought I couldn't possibly advance far enough in only a few weeks and here I had literally _half a year_ to prepare?

I could practically hear my mother screaming in my head that I needed to think things through better before committing to a course of action. God, I was such a moron. I could've subtly asked someone if they were concerned about the exam and tried to trick them into saying how long it was but _nope_ I just had to go and put myself in a situation where I would have to take down a dangerous psycho just to become half the ninja Naruto was in the first episode.

And the worst part was, I couldn't exactly change things now. I couldn't tell Sarutobi that Mizuki was going to steal the Scroll because I still needed to learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu. That, and if I did so Mizuki would spill about me being a plant for Orochimaru.

"Are you okay, my boy?" Sarutobi asked gently. I realized that I had been silent the entire time I had been contemplating the new information and forcibly brought myself back to the present.

"Yeah, it's just…I don't want to trouble Sensei, and the other students won't have anything to do with me." An idea tickled my brain and I followed it. "Even Sasuke isn't that good at explaining things, and there's no scrolls that talk about how Jutsu work."

If anyone could get me some scrolls on Jutsu for me, it was the Hokage. Kind of had to throw Sasuke under the bus, but I shoved down that twinge of guilt.

Sadly, Sarutobi was shaking his head. "Naruto, we don't write down instructions on Jutsu, even common ones like the Academy Three. Too much possibility of them being stolen."

I had to choke down something that was half laughter and half the urge to yell 'BULLSHIT'! I was literally planning on stealing a scroll that was filled with some of the most powerful Jutsu in the Village, and he had the nerve to lie to my face?

Apparently, the old man misinterpreted the expression on my face, and a smile crossed his face. "You know what, my boy? How about when you are frustrated with a Jutsu, you come to me. I happen to be quite good at those."

My jaw nearly fell off of its hinge, but I managed to keep it in place. I wasn't sure my heart could handle all these emotional swings. The _Hokage_ was offering to help me with my Jutsu because _I was sad?!_ "But," I spluttered, "You're the Hokage! Don't you have, you know…Hokage stuff to do?"

"Yes, but I have the feeling that helping you out for a few hours every week or so will help prevent me from having to make hospital visits like this." Sarutobi pointed out, taking another drag on his pipe and puffing the smoke into my face, a smile crinkling his face as I waved the cloud away.

My high lasted for a few seconds before I crashed. I still hadn't _thought this shit through_. Yes, I could now get some help with my Jutsu, but Sarutobi was the one person I feared might see through my shitty acting, and I had just signed myself up for more time around him. Plus, one of the reasons that I hadn't gone to Iruka was that I knew he would notice that I had no idea how to cast the Transformation or Clone Jutsu, so Sarutobi would definitely notice.

In addition to that, there had to be a reason that Sarutobi hadn't offered this to Naruto in canon, so why did he offer it to me now? Maybe…another shiver went down my spine. Maybe he actually _did_ suspect something but wasn't sure what it was, so he hoped that spending more time close to me would give him more data to act on. After all,…It's what I would do if I suspected someone.

I smiled at the Hokage, forcing as much cheer into my voice as possible. "That sounds great, old man!"

Sarutobi smiled back at me. "Well, you certainly seem to be feeling better," He observed. "That IV drip is doing its job, but you know what would do just as well? Some Ichiraku ramen."

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Sarutobi and I walked through the streets of the Leaf Village, and I couldn't help but watch the birth of Naruto's ambition. I remembered Naruto saying his desire to be Hokage stemmed from observing how much respect people gave the Hokage whenever they went out.

I may not have spent much time as Naruto Uzumaki, but the difference between walking alone and walking with the Hokage was like night and day. As I'd observed earlier, the animosity aimed at Naruto was subtle unless it was aimed at you, and now the sudden absence of it was dizzying.

"Lord Hokage!"

"Look, honey, it's Lord Hokage!"

"Hmph. The Lord Hokage is with _him_ again _._ "

That last one had barely drifted to my ears, and I gave a steady look to the man who had said it just to make sure that he knew I had heard him. His eyes met mine, then flickered to Sarutobi, and then he deliberately turned away.

A sneer almost formed on my face as we walked past. Asshole.

"So, my body, how are things going with young Sakura? Have you finally convinced her to go on a date with you?" The Lord Hokage asked me.

Wow. I hadn't known that Naruto and Sarutobi had been close enough to tell him about his crushes. Then again, pretty much anyone who spent time around Naruto probably knew it.

I could claim to like Sakura, but…honestly, even if I was just playing a character, talking about liking a twelve-year-old girl was just disgusting. Just thinking it made my stomach turn.

"Not really." I admitted. "Actually, it's kind of hard to like a girl that likes your friend better than you."

Heh. Again, I was lying without really lying. It was really hard to crush on a girl who wanted to bang your best friend, as I had found out multiple times in my former life.

….Ah shit that was actually a really depressing thought. I couldn't chase after any girls Naruto's age without throwing up, but I couldn't date women my mental age either because they would think that they were dating a twelve-year old boy, and women who were cool with that likely weren't good people in the first place.

Well, I guess that made my potential love life as a ninja roughly as barren as it had been in my civilian life.

Sarutobi chuckled. "Well, my boy, it's important not to give up if you truly wish to find happiness. I knew a young man like you once who even now hasn't stopped chasing the girl of his dreams."

Okay, that was really creepy advice. Chasing after somebody that didn't like you would never end well. To make things worse, he was probably talking about Jiraiya, which just made it even weirder considering he never got the girl. Great advice, gramps.

Oh.

Oh shit.

_Jiraiya._

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I was still sort of in a daze when Sarutobi directed me into the stand that was emitting delicious, savory smells. How on earth had I forgotten about Jiraiya? His death was something that I could _change_ now, and that guy had been my hero back when I was little.

Then I fell prey to something that I quickly dubbed the Pretty Girl Fallacy. The Pretty Girl Fallacy stated that no matter how intense the emotions you were experiencing were, a pretty girl could make you forget those feelings, at least for a moment.

Especially when said girl was hugging you very tightly.

Ayame Ichiraku was much taller than me and was very warm. "Naruto!" She pulled away and gave me a smile. "You're here!"

_Loading regular brain function_

_Initiating…_

_Initiating…_

_Initiation failed. Debug in progress._

_Loading emergency brain backup_

_Initiating…_

_Analyzing optimal speech patterns…_

_Execution in process..._

"Yes. I am here. Here at the ramen stand. Where I live…eat! I mean eat! Eat ramen. Which I like." I blathered. Ayame stared at me, a confused look on her face. I felt blood rush to my face as Sarutobi stepped up beside me.

"Hello, young Ayame." He greeted genially. "Naruto just got out of the hospital, so he's a little frazzled. The regular, if you will."

Ayame let go of me and gave a smart salute to the leader of the Leaf Village, ruffling my hair as she returned behind the counter. "Dad, Naruto's here!"

I quickly took a seat at the counter, my blush subsiding as my heart rate began to slow. Stupid hormones. Stupid biological urges.

"So…older women, eh, my boy?" Sarutobi asked, a devious grin on his old face.

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. He was far too perceptive for my liking. Stupid old man. "Please...don't." I begged. I was already hating myself without his teasing. Naruto was like a little brother to Ayame, he didn't need to act like a stupid teenager, even if I personally found Ayame attractive.

Sarutobi chuckled indulgently and stayed silent as an old man with a broad, smiling face came up to the counter, his eyes squinted shut to accompany his smile.

"Naruto! If it isn't my favorite customer!" Techui Ichiraku announced. "Why, it's been almost a week since you came in. Did another ramen stand steal you away from us?"

Ah, right. Naruto probably would've come around here more often. I spared a glance at Sarutobi out of the corner of my eye to see his reaction to that piece of information, only to see a devious glint in his eyes as he met my gaze.

He probably thought that I was avoiding this place due to developing feelings for Ayame. Well, I supposed that was better than the truth, which was having forgotten they existed. Besides, it was alright to find Ayame attractive, right? She was very close to my real age after all.

Sure, let's go with that.

"Well, you know. Future Hokage stuff keeps you busy." I told the ramen shop owner. "Besides, we both know that this is the best ramen shop in the Leaf Village, nowhere else could possibly steal me away."

Techui laughed a deep, booming laugh. "And here I thought that you said my ramen shop was the best in the world, not just the Village."

"Well, while I personally think your ramen shop is the best in the world, Iruka taught me about generalizations this week, so I thought 'well, I guess I'll have to visit every ramen shop on earth, just so that I can definitively say that Ichiraku is the best'."

Techui roared with laughter. "I have to say, kid, that's not a bad goal, not at all. And once you prove it, we can have you tell all your ninja buddies and they'll have no choice but to come try us out!"

A smile came to my face as Techui pored both Sarutobi and I some tea while Ayame worked in the back. Techui seemed like a good man. I could see why someone like him wouldn't reject Naruto right off the bat, and why so many fanfics brought him into more prominence than he had in the anime. A good man was important whether he was a ninja or not.

"I have to say, Techui, I find it a tad irksome that you don't consider me your favorite customer." Sarutobi sipped his tea calmly.

"Well, sir, once you announce that I have the best ramen stand in the Village then we can talk about it, but until then…."

Sarutobi chuckled. "I fear that my coming here so frequently is as blatant a statement I can make on the matter. I do trust that I at least hold the number two position?"

"Absolutely." Techui affirmed.

As they talked, I sipped the tea and found myself pleasantly surprised. It didn't have the pleasant bitterness of coffee or a similar flavor to earl gray, yet it wasn't bad at all. I took another sip and tried to return to a calmer state of mind.

And remembered something very important.

"Hey, old man." I said once there was a lull in the Hokage's conversation. "When the ANBU brought me in, did they bring a sword with them?"

Techui's eyebrows rose upon hearing that the ANBU had brought me in, but didn't pry, and Sarutobi turned towards me. "Actually, yes. A jian." For some reason, his face was creased with displeasure. "Why do you ask?"

"Well…it's mine. A friend of mine works in a weapons shop and she sold it to me." I explained, hoping to dissuade his displeasure. It wasn't out of character for a young boy to like sharp pointy things, right?

Instead of lightning, the displeasure on his face intensified. "Where did you buy it from?" He asked.

"Uh…I don't know." I admitted sheepishly. I couldn't even remember Tenten's last name, and I hadn't looked at the shop's sign after leaving. "Why?"

Sarutobi sighed. "Well, my boy, it looks like your friend swindled you. That sword wasn't worth the money you paid for it."

That threw me for a bit of a loop. "What are you talking about? It seemed fine when I was using it earlier."

Sarutobi frowned and made a sharp hand gesture. I flinched back, but instead of anything happening to me, I felt a rush of wind as something behind me moved.

"Uh…was that supposed to do something?" I asked. Other than nearly make me shit my pants, I mean, though I didn't vocalize that.

At that moment, Ayame walked back over with two steaming bowls in her hands. She set them down in front of us. "Enjoy!" She smiled, and her eyes were warm.

I didn't get flustered this time, but only because my focus was on the food that was set in front of me. The smell of it had been in the background for most of the time that we had been in the stall, but now it almost had a physical presence, demanding to be noticed. My mouth was watering, and I idly wiped it with my sleeve.

Breaking my chopsticks, I picked up one of the noodles and placed it into my mouth. Savory goodness flooded my mouth, and I quickly found myself losing focus on my surroundings as my goal became getting the ramen into my mouth as quickly as possible.

I had always had a problem with eating too quickly, despite my parents trying to force the habit out of me. They said that it was just plain disgusting to wolf down food rather than slow down and enjoy it. I disagreed. If something was good enough, if didn't matter how fast you ate it.

Which apparently was a philosophy that both Naruto and I shared.

Within the space of a minute, all of noodles were gone, and I was gulping down the broth. Dear lord, people in my world needed to learn how to cook if _this_ sort of food was confined to a single stall.

"Glad to see that you still like our ramen." Ayame's elbows were up on the counter as she watched me with an amused look on her face.

"I don't see why you could ever imagine otherwise." I said seriously. I had assumed Naruto's love of ramen was due to his poor upbringing, but now I was convinced the blonde boy was wiser than I had given him credit for.

"Well, you didn't seem to be missing it much this week." Ayame said lightly, her tone unaffected.

I felt a pang of guilt. The only time I had really even thought about the Ichiraku was when I had contemplated murdering them a few days ago. I had just glossed over the fact that they were now as real as anyone else in this world and had given them no other thought.

"I'm sorry, Ayame." I said sincerely. "I've just been…struggling at the Academy. So I've been working extra hard to get ready for the exams."

Ayame's amused expression morphed into a genuine smile. "Well, look who's taking his ninja duties seriously." She teased. "Who's a big strong ninja?"

"Ayameeeee," I groaned. Despite my whining, there was a wide smile on my face.

"I know, I know. Just…be sure to drop by every once and awhile. We're always happy to see our #1 customer after all." Ayame said. "And you might not have the time once you're the Hokage, after all."

I snorted and jabbed a thumb at the Hokage, who was happily chatting with Techui. "He seems to find the time."

We both laughed. "…Yeah. I guess you're right." Ayame said.

I refilled my cup, took a long sip, and looked at her. I wasn't the most empathetic of guys, but I had a feeling I knew what was going on in her head. Once I became a ninja, I really _wouldn't_ have a lot of time to stop by the stall, especially if I wanted to get to the power level I needed to save the world. Of course, Ayame didn't know that part, but she lived in a ninja village and I had a feeling she wasn't dumb. I would be risking my life in a few months' time, and each mission I took increased the chances that I wouldn't come back.

She didn't want to lose her little brother.

"Ayame, I promise." I said finally. I met her eyes and tried to communicate what I meant with that alone. "I'll come by as often as I can. Even when I become a ninja. Even when I'm Hokage."

The girl blinked, seemingly caught off guard by the sudden change in atmosphere. Her smile dropped, and she searched my eyes for something. "You promise?" She echoed, and I knew she understood what I was trying to say.

I nodded. "And I always keep my promises." A darkly ironic smile twisted my face, and I had to swallow down a burst of self-loathing at stealing Naruto's words. "Because that's my ninja way."

"Not a bad way to start off your ninja career." Sarutobi interrupted. Once again, I nearly jumped, but kept myself under control and turned towards the old man, my gaze immediately drawn to the sheathed sword in his grasp, the leather now with slight grass stains on it from when I had set it down in the forest.

"Wait, when…? How…?" I said, casting my mind back. Then it clicked. An ANBU must've been with us this whole time, and Sarutobi's hand motion had been an instruction to retrieve the subject of the discussion we had been having.

If I had slipped up, he could've just as easily instructed the ANBU to knock me out, and it would've happened too fast for me to do anything about it, because I hadn't even known that the ANBU was there.

Sarutobi, seeing that he had my attention, pulled out the sword with a soft _shhhink_ and held the blade aloft. "Fine craftsmanship." He admitted grudgingly. He returned it to its sheath with yet another satisfying _shhhink_. "Did you notice anything?" He asked, his voice suddenly taking on a professorial tone.

"Uhhhhh," My mouth droned without my consent. I took my hand and manually returned my mouth to its closed position, making Techui snort and Ayame giggle. "No."

Sarutobi once again withdrew the sword and, rather than hand over the sword, handed over the sheath. "Look on the inside." He commanded. I did so and saw the hard interior of the sheath.

"It's wood." I said succinctly.

"Naruto, what would you do if you heard the sound of a sword being drawn behind you?" The Professor asked.

"Dodge it." I answered immediately, and I felt a small thrill of enjoyment as I realized I actually _could_ do that. I was fast enough in Naruto's body. Then what Sarutobi said clicked, and I nearly slammed my face onto the counter below. "And if _I_ knew to do that, so would anyone else."

Sarutobi nodded, glad that I had understood, and handed over the sword, which I resheathed and laid across my knees. "That's why most merchants sell sheaths that have soft material on the inside like silk, to mask the sound. Especially for ninja, masking the sounds we make is vitally important. If I were you, my boy, I would return that sheath and get a proper one."

I mulled over his words and took a sip of my tea, which was once again getting down to the dregs. "I think I'll keep it." I decided.

Sarutobi arched an eyebrow, which I took as a sign to explain. I shrugged. "I mean, it might be more audible, but I don't mind. I'm not looking to stab anyone in the back. And besides," I gestured to my coat and pants. "I think my weapon should match my clothes. Awesome and dramatic, in other words."

A smile twitched on Sarutobi's face. "Very well. It is the prerogative of the young to disregard their elders, after all." He said.

"I hear you." Techui agreed.

As we all laughed at Techui's comment, I mentally breathed a sigh of relief that he had bought that. It had seemed like what Naruto would say. Of course, I would eventually get a proper sheath, as well as change Naruto's attire, but now was not the time. Naruto wouldn't just change for no reason. He needed something Important enough to change his personality, enough to give me an excuse to act more like myself without raising suspicion.

Something like, say, having a trusted teacher try to kill me. And that teacher's subsequent death, of course.

I let a wide yawn split my mouth, and made a show of fighting it down.

"Welll, looks like someone needs some bedrest." Techui noted. "And we don't want our favorite customer to get sick, now do we?"

"What? No, I'm not ti-" Yawn, "-ired." I protested.

Sarutobi took out a wad of yen and set it on the counter. "Let's get you to bed, my boy. You do have school in the morning." He reminded me.

I made a show of grumbling and pushing away from the counter reluctantly. "Bye, Techui. Bye, Ayame." I called.

"Bye, Naruto! Oh, and…" Ayame's voice lowered, and she leaned down to whisper in my ear. Her breath tickled my face, and I could almost _hear_ Sarutobi smirk.

"Yes?" I asked, refusing to sound nervous. I was a grown-ass man, I would not be nervous!

"…You might want to shower. You smell like a sewer."

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The next few days passed by in a blur. Sarutobi had promised he would set aside some time next Sunday, which gave me a solid six days to try and dig up a working knowledge on the Transformation and Clone Jutsu. Not good, of course, just enough. I spent the rest of the evening experimenting with those concepts, but every time I tried to summon my chakra, the aches in my body would flare into a blazing pain.

On Monday, Sasuke didn't act any different towards me, and didn't seem surprised to see me in class. He treated me just like any other person (aka ignoring me) until I challenged him. Given that my mind was mostly occupied with ideas on how to defeat Mizuki, I just challenged him to Rock-Paper-Scissors rather than anything to make money.

I had won, and class had continued. Mizuki also treated me like always, warmly and with respect, with no indication that we were conspiring against the Leaf Village.

After class on Monday, I had retreated to the forest, and practiced the one Jutsu that I actually knew how to do. Unfortunately, even though my chakra was once again under my control and I had successfully pulled the Jutsu off on Sunday, I could only pull it off once for every ten times I tried. That was unacceptable. My life, and thus the fate of the world, may depend on a successful Substitution.

Monday evening I dragged myself back to my apartment after having successfully pulled off the Substitution Jutsu twice in a row. I passed out with a grin on my face.

Tuesday had passed much the same as Monday, but the difference was that I managed to trick one of the students into doing a Transformation technique after taunting him, saying he probably couldn't pull it off. I had forgotten that the Transformation technique only required one hand-seal, and that had helped significantly, and so I spent the afternoon trying to replicate the Transformation Jutsu, taking copious notes on what seemed to work or fail.

By Friday night, I had gotten my Substitution success rate up to a roughly 50% success rate, and had managed to make a single, semi-real-sort-of Transformation. The theory behind it was to create a thin shell of chakra around oneself, and since chakra could be shaped to look like almost anything with the right hand-sign, the hard part was keeping the illusion consistent and being able to match it with your own body's movements.

To celebrate, I had gone to Ichiraku Ramen for dinner. I had been going to the stand every afternoon after the Academy before I headed off to train, but my finances were a bit too strained to eat out every night, so I normally only stayed to have a cup of tea and chat with Ayame, much to the annoyance of several male customers.

I will admit, I took a bit of pleasure in their annoyance. Or maybe more than a bit. Just because nothing could ever happen between Ayame and I didn't mean I couldn't keep the jealous creepers away. I had gotten used to doing that in reality as well, only now I did it as a hyperactive hellion rather than an intimidating giant.

"I'm certainly glad that you took my advice. It might help you find a girlfriend." Ayame teased, bringing my attention back to the present as she placed my delicious miso ramen in front of me. I nearly shivered as she reminded me of the fact that I had finally given in and-gah- _bathed._ I had resorted to shutting my eyes and scrubbing as frantically and quickly as possible.

Ironically, the experience made me want to take a warm shower to get rid of the dirty feeling.

I sniffed haughtily, going for bravado once again. "I don't need to find a girlfriend." I announced. "However, if a girl wants some of this, she's free to chase _me_."

I heard one of the other patrons choke on their noodles.

"Oh?" Ayame arched an eyebrow. "And what happened to asking out the 'most beautiful girl in the world' that just so happened to be in your class?"

Damnit Naruto, did you have to make your affections so visible, it was putting me in so many uncomfortable situations.

I shrugged and started eating, trying to slow down to continue the conversation. "It wouldn't work. I don't need to chase somebody who doesn't even notice me." I mumbled through a mouthful of noodles.

"I guess you're finally growing up." Ayame reached out and patted my cheek, nearly making me choke on my noodles. Luckily, I got it down and ducked my head to disguise my blush. I never thought I would yearn for the days when pretty girls wouldn't even talk to me.

The stand's separator shifted, and someone sat next to me. "Hello, Naruto." A friendly voice said. "Do you have time to talk about our mutual benefactor?"

I swallowed both my mouthful of noodles and the sudden lump in my throat. "Of course, Mizuki-sensei." I licked my lips. "One more miso ramen, please." I ordered.

I would need my strength.

…Plus, if I did end up dying, I wanted to do so with a full stomach.

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**Holy heck, ended up getting this out in one day, at the expense of actual essay writing. So appreciate this gift, my dear readers.**

**As I stated, shipping is a touchy subject with the SI being mentally an adult, so if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with this, feel free to tell me.**

**On another note, college has started! That means all night parties! Well, not for me. For others. Cool people. I don't know how much college will interfere with my writing schedule, so just expect my normal erratic updates. Of course, reviews help give me motivation.**

**Alright, now that the unsubtle hints are over, this is the Phantom Prince, reminding you to FOLLOW, FAVOURITE AND REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

Bright Orange

Chapter 07: Breathe

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Naruto's bedroom was dark, the lights turned out for the night, with dusty moonlight streaming into the room through the windows. The light illuminated the wilting little line of plants that sat on the sill that I kept forgetting to water. I felt vaguely guilty about that.

I sat on my bed, my tools laid out before me. There was the brace of ten kunai that I had found in Naruto's closet, as well as my sword. A small container had been filled with ground down pepper for throwing in people's faces, and I had a total of three shuriken. That was essentially the end of the weapons that I had been able to scrounge up, though I had also gone ahead and purchased a few feet of rope, just in case.

Some part of me had hoped that maybe Mizuki would supply me with some more tools in an attempt to help maximize my chances of stealing the Scroll, but the only thing he had given me was a slip of paper detailing the guard changes and where to find the Scroll. I supposed he wouldn't want to give me anything to use against him in the event I decided to betray him.

He didn't know that I already had decided to do just that, but that was besides the point. Sneeze powder, some rope, and some pointy things that I barely knew how to use were all I had to use against Mizuki if I couldn't learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu in time.

My heartrate refused to pick up, seemingly exhausted from the first couple of hours of overthinking my situation. A numbness had fallen over me, and there was static in my ears. I hadn't moved in well over an hour, just staring at my tools and thinking.

What if…?

What if…?

Finally, my body unfolded and brought me into the kitchen, which was just as dark as the bedroom. I stumbled around a bit until I found what I was looking for- a scroll that was blank save for some hasty, sloppy basic kanji on it. I assumed that Naruto had used it to practice back when he was first learning his kanji, but had gotten bored, and so most of it was blank.

I carried it back to the bedroom and grabbed a pen on the way.

_In the event of my death, let this be the last will and testament of Naruto Namikaze._

_Yes, I know who my father is. I know many things that are true regardless of the whether you believe me or not. For instance, I know that Kushina was the second jinchuriki of the Nine-Tails, and Mito was the first. Sarutobi, my mother gave you a scarf that she knitted for me before she died. Let these truths prove the truth in what I am about to say. I beg you, whoever finds this scroll, heed my advice._

_If I die, The Nine-Tailed Fox will eventually reform. Do not attack him. His name is Kurama, and at the moment his hatred of humanity is absolute. I am unsure of how long this reformation will take, but the longer it takes the better. The group of S-ranked ninjas known as Akatsuki is seeking him, and if they get him, then all is lost._

_If you are unable to stop them and they start coming after Kurama, it means that the other eight Tailed Beasts have been sealed by the Akatsuki. In which case, follow these directions: Go to the Uzumaki Mask Shrine. I am unsure of where it is, but somewhere in its collection is a mask that will allow you to free a spirit from the stomach of the Shinigami. Put it on and free the spirit of Minato Namikaze. Then, and this is important whether or not you consider it ethical, use the Impure World Resurrection technique to reanimate him. Within him is a version of Kurama that will work in cooperation with Minato. He is your best bet of defeating the Akatsuki. Be brutal and swift, because if you do not eliminate the Akatsuki then the world is lost._

_At the soonest opportunity, eliminate the creature known as Zetsu. If the black half survives, the chances that the world will end is nearly 100%, even if you succeed in killing all the rest of the Akatsuki. If you are not absolutely certain that Black Zetsu is dead, then keep searching for him._

_The one behind Akatsuki is Pain, aka Nagato, a former student of Jiraiya. DO NOT send Jiraiya to face him unless he is in Sage Mode and willing to kill both Nagato and Konan. His Six Paths are strong, but his real body is frail. If you kill him, destroy the Rinnegan he possesses._

_The one behind Pain is Obito Uchiha aka Tobi, who is convinced this world would be better off stuck in a perpetual illusion. The best person to go against him is Kakashi Hatake, as they share the same ability, Kamui, with access to the same pocket dimension._

_The one behind Obito Uchiha is Madara Uchiha. He is capable of taking on all of the shinobi in the world all at once. If given the opportunity, Obito will use the Impure World Resurrection to bring him back, and there are very few who can defeat him._

That plan to use the Impure World Resurrection had occurred to me during my first few days of in this world. The only thing that kept me from carrying it out myself was not knowing the Impure World Resurrection and the fact that I couldn't remember whether putting on the Shinigami Mask would kill its user. Still, it might prove useful in the future, whether or not I was around to see it.

I paused, pen hovering over the paper. A drop of ink fell onto the blank space and began to slowly dry. If I died and Kayuga was still reborn it would be too late to do anything. Only Naruto and Sasuke, blessed with the Sage's chakra, had been able to beat her in canon, so there wasn't much point in telling anyone about her. I couldn't even remember if she had any obvious weaknesses. That took care of most of the important things, like the end of the world. What else was there? What else was important?

Slowly, the pen lowered again.

_Sasuke Uchiha, know that your life will be full of pain and confusion no matter what you do. Nothing is as it seems, but once you learn the truth just know that giving into anger will be the worst mistake of your entire life. If Orochimaru ever approaches you, do not go with him. The power he offers is not the kind of power that will allow you to kill Itachi. It will kill you instead. Find loved ones and cherish them. Remember that you are the last light of the Uchiha clan, and if you become consumed by revenge, then the Uchiha will truly die._

I leaned back and surveyed the words. I couldn't include the truth of Itachi's actions, nor that the Leaf had told him to do it, as whoever found the scroll would never let him see it. Technically, if Sasuke went with Orochimaru then he would gain the power to kill Itachi, but if I was dead then I wouldn't be around to feel bad about lying. It would be far more important for Sasuke to remain loyal to the Leaf Village, whatever the cost. Without a Naruto to bring him back from the brink, Sasuke would go full psychopath, and if he still ended up receiving the Sage's chakra even without me, then no one would be able to stand up to him.

Letting the ink dry, I slowly began to pack up my tools. The scroll was written in English, so that it would take whoever found it time to decrypt it. After all, once I stole the Scroll, doubtless someone would search my apartment and find it. If I survived and was questioned about it, I could simply say it was my diary or some such, and say I wrote it in a code I'd made up, then ask for it back.

I looked over at my alarm clock, visible only thanks to my night vision and the faint traces of moonlight in the room. It was time to go.

My body wouldn't move.

My fingers twitched, then fell immovable again.

I took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out, letting my eyes roam over the apartment that technically belonged to me. Breathing and seeing. Two things that were so consistent in both of my lives, yet in just a few short hours, I might not be able to do either if Mizuki had his way.

…Well, it was too late now. I needed to get going or I wouldn't be able to steal the Scroll. Wouldn't be able to put any of my plans into action.

Wouldn't be able to save the world.

I took a deep breath in…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

….and slowly let it out. The Hokage Tower loomed in the distance, dim and foreboding. I was sure that other parts of the village were active at this time of night, but this wasn't one of them, and the streets lay quiet and dark.

Well, not exactly quiet. There were quite a few bugs out at night, and their chittering and skittering that was so easy to overlook during the day filled the hollow spaces of the night. I felt oddly put at ease by their noise for some reason that couldn't be limited to the purely pragmatic effect of my footsteps not being as easy to hear.

From what Mizuki had written, security on the Hokage Tower at night was not very high. There were two ninja that rotated every thirty minutes on the outside of the building, and there was another set of guards on every third floor. Given that there was only a total of six floors and I only needed to get to the second, I only needed to get past the first set and it would be smooth sailing.

I supposed the lack of serious security made sense. Every Naruto fan's first exposure to the place was knowing that it was where the Hokage kept the Scroll of Sealing, but that wasn't exactly widely known here in the Naruto Universe. And even if you did know, who would be crazy enough to break into the building where the Hokage worked and slept?

No one would _dare_. Not unless they were stupid or desperate.

Luckily for me, I was both.

I could've taken the rooftops like a good ninja. It probably would've been faster, but, even if I was in a much-altered state of mind than usual, I didn't trust myself to not freak out due to the height and fall off a house.

Figures. Even when I had supernatural powers and a primordial demon in my gut, I still wasn't a badass. Maybe Neji was on to something with all that fate talk.

I shook my head in irritation at the negative thoughts plaguing me. They would be of no help to me now.

The area was familiar to me by now. I didn't want to just depend on Mizuki's intel, and so I had scoped out the area slowly over the course of the week. I didn't have a perfect mental map, but I knew where the shadows were deepest and the best vantage points.

My thoughts so consumed me that I nearly took one step too far. My sandaled foot was just peeking out from behind the corner, all of my weight on my back foot. One of the shinobi on guard would barely be ten feet away at the front entrance, and if he was halfway competent then he would've seen it.

Ah, there was the adrenaline.

My balance wavered as I slowly pulled my foot back. I could've jerked it back, but that would've run the risk of throwing me off enough that I fell over, and that certainly would've been loud enough to draw his attention, not to mention the ire of those living in this area. Then again, those affluent to live near enough to the Hokage Tower probably had access to some pretty powerful sleep medication.

Despite my best efforts, the gravel under my feet still crunched as I crouched and pressed myself flush to the building beside me. My fingers fumbled for my pocket, and I slowly withdrew a metal spoon that I had polished to the point of gleaming. Naruto hadn't had any small mirrors in his apartment, and the only ones small enough at the stores I had gone to had been parts of makeup kits, which would've looked odd for me to buy.

The angle was tricky, but eventually I got a stretched little picture of the Hokage Tower entrance, and its sole visible guard. I had to squint but could make out the figure as he leaned against the entrance, arms crossed lazily. I had to hand it to the man, he was perfectly motionless, like a human gargoyle. He was a true shinobi.

….Or he was sleeping.

No, there was no way. Even if security was lax, there was no way the guard would be _sleeping._ I glanced down at the cheap plastic watch I had picked up. The plan was for me to sneak in through the front door in the brief window when the first guard left and the next came to take his place. I was sure that that went against most military procedures, but I supposed it fit for someplace as relaxed as the Leaf Village.

…Still, there was no way that that guy was _sleeping_ , right?

My breath began to come harder. Every minute that I could buy before Mizuki expected me to act was a minute I could use to master the Shadow Clone Jutsu and get an edge against him.

Should I risk it? Should I risk it? Should I….Should I…..

A sudden rage overcame me that nearly shook my tiny body. Would Naruto have hesitated like this? In that moment, I nearly rushed forward to take the front entrance, throwing consequences to the wind.

No. No, I couldn't do that. I bit my lip a bit too hard, and the hot blood that trickled into my mouth was enough to keep me from rushing forward. I was in uncharted territory here. I had no idea how Naruto had managed to do this in canon, and I still didn't have even half of his abilities. I had to do this like me, not like Naruto.

I let out a shaky breath that seemed far too shallow to be healthy, and my hand moved for my pockets. After a moment of feeling around, my fingers managed to find my shuriken. Naruto wasn't one for ninja tools, and his shuriken were dull enough that they didn't cut my fingers. Still, they had their uses.

Holding the little metal weapon awkwardly, I checked on my spoon mirror and took aim. I backed up and chucked the shuriken with as much strength as I could muster from my crouched position.

Which was apparently, more strength than I had anticipated. The shuriken, clumsily aimed, sliced through the air and slammed into the very door that I wanted to sneak into.

The man that had been narrowly missed by the flying projectile didn't so much as flinch. For a moment, part of me wanted it to simply be because he was so badass that he didn't care about poorly aimed shuriken, but then it became clear that he was _actually fucking asleep_.

A _shinobi._ Tasked with guarding _scrolls of great importance_.

I waited for several more seconds, agonizing over my decision, before slowly inching around the corner and laying eyes on the door to the Hokage Tower. It was a very visible place, with multiple vantage points that allowed one to monitor it, and yet Mizuki's information said that this was one of the only guards.

And he was…Dear lord, I actually had trouble wrapping my mind around it. Glancing at my watch, I darted out from behind the corner, wincing at every step that I took for how loud they seemed. Finally, I reached the doors and laid my hands against the cool wood.

Unlocked. Because of course they were.

I pried my shuriken out of the door and hoped that no one would notice the gouge in the wood before I got out. Then again, given the quality of the ninjas in charge of guarding the Hokage Tower…

Something shuffled behind me, and the adrenaline decided to double its presence in my bloodstream. I nearly ran face first into the door in my effort to open it, and it closed behind me just in time for me to heard an unfamiliar voice, its sound blunted by the wooden door between us.

"Damnit, Ryu, can't you ever stay awake for one shift?" A fond female voice reprimanded. Someone outside shuffled.

"Come off of it, Nosuke. We both know this job doesn't really matter. Even if somebody got past, they'd have to deal with Lord Third." The male voice was foggy with sleep, likely the man outside who had so recently been asleep. I felt a shot of something between smug satisfaction, and disdain for Ryu.

"I don't suppose I could convince you to stay awake out of commitment to doing your job well?" Sarcasm dripped off of Nosuke's voice, thick enough to spread on a slice of bread.

"Hmph. Well, you've been trying for the past few months. If you haven't managed to do it yet, I can't imagine it'll take tonight of all nights."

I rolled my eyes and crept away from the door, deeper into the Hokage Tower. The easy part was over. The two shinobis' banter faded quickly as I located the staircase and moved up, placing each footstep surely before moving up. I didn't want to trip and fall down the staircase, after all. Although, at this point, I wasn't partially convinced that even then I wouldn't be caught.

Finally, after exactly twenty-two steps (I counted), I was on the second floor. According to what I had managed to eavesdrop over the past week, this and the third floor were the Archives. All of the paperwork for the mission undertaken by the Leaf Village. Maybe the whole idea of putting the Scroll of Sealing here was just that there would normally be no one who would search through mounds of paperwork just on the off chance that there might be a powerful Jutsu scroll hidden here?

Yeah, let's go with that. It allowed me to maintain some sort of faith in the Leaf Village. I pulled out the slip of paper that Mizuki had given me, squinting at the contents. What had been the room number again?

The room was just a few doors down, and it was filled with scrolls of all sizes, piled on top of each other haphazardly. I immediately discarded all of the small and medium sized scrolls. I knew the Scroll of Seals was nearly as big as I was, and there were very few of those.

I unrolled one of the giant scrolls, skimmed its contents and threw it aside. Some sort of complicated genjutsu. Effectively useless to me.

The second one was written in tiny, cramped kanji that I could barely dechipher, both for their size and the kanji themselves being too advanced for me. But the third…

The paper unfurled and displayed the kanji that spelled out _Shadow Clone Jutsu._ This was the Scroll of Sealing.

I swallowed heavily. Part of me was tempted to just sit down and use the Scroll here, but I couldn't risk using chakra in the Tower. I didn't know if one of the guards was a sensor or not, even Mizuki hadn't been able to figure it out.

The Scroll came with a convenient strap, as if designed for transport. I just shrugged, not even surprised at this point, and slung it over my shoulder opposite my sword sheath. The weight was almost too much for me and I staggered to the side. Cursing softly, I stumbled out of the room and made for one of the windows. I didn't want to risk an encounter with any of the guards.

"Going so soon, my boy?" A leathery voice asked softly.

A bar of cold iron was inserted into my spine, and my hands began to shake. "Hel-hello old man." I said, my voice sounding reedy to my ears. Turning slowly, the third Hokage came into view. He stood in front of the staircase leading to the third floor and was dressed in clean linen pajamas. He looked oddly frail without his billowy robes and Hokage's hat.

"You do realize that you won't be able to be a ninja if you leave here with that Scroll, don't you, my boy?" Sarutobi said conversationally, seeming genuinely curious. I was acutely aware of the fact that the old man could likely cross the distance between us before I could even finish blinking.

I licked my lips and gave the man a shaky smile. "He said you would say that." I said vaguely. I could mention Mizuki directly, but once I got away I would need Mizuki free to follow me into the forest, not pursued by the Third Hokage.

Let me correct that: If. If I got away.

The sudden enormity of what I was attempting to do crashed over me. I had forgotten. This confrontation had to have happened in the original Naruto storyline. For someone to have known that Naruto had stolen the Scroll, they would've had to have caught him in the act, because otherwise all they would've had to have gone on was Mizuki's word.

So Naruto had confronted the Third Hokage and gotten away. But how?

Oh fuck.

Fuck.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

The Sexy Jutsu! I had completely forgotten about it! That was how Naruto had knocked out the Third Hokage in canon, and I, in my _infinite wisdom_ , had decided to focus on the Substitution Jutsu instead.

The Hokage didn't move as my fingers shakily moved and shaped themselves into a Ram seal. "Who said that I would say that?" He asked blandly. He clearly didn't think I could do anything to injure him.

Well…he was sort of right. I had only managed to pull this off once, after all, and never with this particular application in mind. I licked my lips and gave the man my best smile as I began to let my chakra flood into the world. The tingle of energy overran my skin as my chakra shroud materialized.

"Please…" I whispered. " _Please!"_

I wasn't sure who I was praying to. I only hoped that they were listening.

The Jutsu took form, and a cloud of smoke overtook my vision. The Transformation Jutsu was hard to describe from the inside. If the form you assumed was too far away from your own, it _pinched_ in a way that was very distracting, and you were simultaneously aware of the film of chakra covering your body.

I did not have the experience that Naruto had with the Sexy Jutsu, and if it came down to it I probably couldn't have pulled off his exact variation of it. Luckily, the base Transformation Jutsu meshed well with imagination, and I had that in _spades_.

The form solidified, and I probably would've enjoyed having breasts a lot more if I hadn't been in a life or death situation. I wasn't exactly sure what I looked like but given Sarutobi's slack jaw and the trickle of blood dripping onto the floor from his nose, I figured that I must look pretty damn fine.

"You're right, Lord Hokage. I've been very naughty. Would you like to…punish me?" My voice was higher than Naruto's normal tone, but probably much lower than what Naruto's Sexy Jutsu form had used. To really sell it, I cocked my hip to the side and gave him a _look_.

A little bit too late I remembered that the Sexy Jutsu normally employed discrete bits of smoke to cover highly sensitive areas, smoke that I didn't know how to maintain with chakra. However, it appeared that the old man was not entirely unappreciative.

The Lord Hokage, the man dubbed as the Professor of the Leaf, let out a pathetic groan and blood burst from his nose. He fell bonelessly to the ground in a heap. Well, I considered as I took a closer look, not _completely_ bonelessly. Gross.

I stared at the man for slightly too long. I hadn't planned on it, but this was a prime opportunity to try and steal the old man's crystal ball, which would inhibit his ability to spy on me in the future…But that would take a lot of time, since I wasn't sure where it was located, time better spent learning the Shadow Clone.

Speaking of which, I needed to get a move on.

A shiver went through me, and goosebumps rose my Transformation constructed body. Chakra continued to amaze me. I had better get out of here though. As I moved to the window, I saw my reflection and was momentarily struck dumb before the woman in the woman turned bright red and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

I opened the window and made the leap from the windowsill to the building next door, sticking to the wall with my chakra. The Scroll was very heavy on my back, but even as I made my way down and dashed for the forest, my face was still hot.

Gods above, I was glad that no one from my original world had been around to see what the sexiest woman I could imagine looked like. Talk about humiliating…

However, as the cold wind whipped by me, my embarrassment receded as I got closer and closer to the forest. I had no idea how long I would have before the Hokage would wake up and Mizuki would come for me. And I couldn't count on Iruka coming to save me. At our rendezvous, I had subtly told Mizuki I would prefer it if he kept Iruka away. He probably thought it was because I didn't want to confront the man after I had betrayed the village.

In reality, I just didn't want him to see what I was going to do to his friend.

I took a deep breath…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

…and slowly let it out. I blinked open my eyes and found myself face to face with a short boy with spiky blond hair and blue eyes that were hooded with exhaustion. His fingers were fixed in a cross-like sign, and his elbows were drooping. He had been using up far too much chakra, far too fast.

Curiously enough, I felt fine, even though I only had- I took a moment to check- less than a hundredth of the chakra I was used to having. I guess that was because my tenketsu technically hadn't been subjected to the experience of pumping out several hundred joules of chakra. I also didn't feel any of the fatigue that I remembered feeling mere seconds ago. Or rather, that the other me had been feeling. My Prime, if you will.

I wondered why I didn't feel exactly the same. After all, the Shadow Clone Jutsu was supposed to replicate my Prime down to the smallest detail. Now that I was looking I could spy a small spot of dirt on Prime's pants that was exactly mirrored on my own, even though the fabric and the dirt on me were just chakra, just like the rest of me.

Maybe, since my muscles were really just an accumulation of chakra, they didn't produce fatigue toxins in the same way? Or maybe the lactic acid buildup was simply too much for the Jutsu to replicate? Surely not. After all, since I was capable of abstract thought, surely that meant that all the neurochemicals in my brain had been replicated as well, and there was no reason that chakra would have a harder time replicating acids.

Well, that was assuming that I even had a brain. After all, as the Transformation Jutsu thoroughly demonstrated, just because something looked like it was alive didn't mean that it really was. It was just a thin film of chakra, easily disrupted, just like the Shadow Clone. In fact, I'd needed to use some of my knowledge of how the Transformation worked to really get the Shadow Clone up and running to create…well, me.

I knew that chakra retained some of the memories and characteristics of the one who generated them, so it was possible that, rather than actually going through the process of replicating everything from muscles to bones made out of chakra, I was really just a blob that was shaped like Naruto and had his skin laid over it.

I took two fingers and placed them in the nook where my neck met my jaw. After a second, I found it.

_Thump-thump_

_Thump-thump_

I had a heartbeat. Did that mean that I really had a heart? Or was it just the chakra that made up my body mimicking the superficial marks of having a heart?

A faint grinding sound tickled my ears and I brought my attention back to my attention, who was staring at me with dull eyes and clenched teeth. He really did look awful, and I could see what Ayame said about us smelling bad.

"What's the square root of nine?" He immediately lashed out, seeing that he had my attention. A faint smile quirked at my lips. I had found that, while some Shadow Clones could look and act like me, they lacked even basic cognitive abilities beyond following simple orders. Asking them a simple math question was what I had decided would be the deciding factor in whether or not the Jutsu had succeeded.

"Isn't the fact that I have the ability to get lost in thought a sign that the Jutsu worked?" I asked rhetorically.

I expected a grin to break out on my Prime's face, but instead he seemed to sag, his fingers finally falling out of the cross position they had been in for well over two hours. I feel a phantom pang for the relief he must be feeling. We had been getting progressively higher and higher strung as time crept along and Mizuki hadn't shown.

Of course, I had been formed with the knowledge that the Shadow Clone Jutsu had succeeded, so I was feeling a bit more mellow.

My Prime and I both sat down in a mirror of each other's movement. It was more than a little unnerving, but I assumed that I'd have to get used to it. I wasn't feeling tired, but I of all people knew how irritated I would get with talking to someone who was standing while I was sitting, and I clearly remembered the desperate desire to just sit down that I- or rather my Prime- had been feeling.

The Scroll sat between us, only unrolled to about a foot to reveal the instructions to the Mass Shadow Clone Jutsu. It had taken us nearly a half hour just to puzzle out the meaning, but my Prime hadn't wanted to screw up the process too badly. After all, if he created a warped clone and absorbed its memories, would that affect his own mind as well. Speaking of which…

"Do you want to test out the memory return thing? See if it's working now?" I asked.

My progenitor gave me a look that would've been unreadable for anyone other than me. Or rather, us. I needed to figure out how pronouns would work here. "I don't know…" He muttered. "I mean, you're sapient, right?"

I nearly rolled my eyes, then realized that I didn't need to disguise my feelings, and instead reached out to smack the back of his head. It felt very satisfying. No wonder my friends did that to me so often.

"We already decided that there was no need to think of us as separate beings." I lectured my reflection. "We're essentially the same person, and after the Jutsu is done, it'll be as if you had just had a different train of thought. As long as I don't exist for over a month, I probably won't develop enough individuality for it to matter."

A bit of life returned to my Prime's blue eyes, and he gave me a wry smile that was completely out of place on Naruto's face. "When did you get so smart?" He asked.

I scoffed. "Please, don't flatter yourself. You're just too tired to think straight. You know how stupid you can be when you're tired."

"Hmph. Guess you're right. On the upside, it's kind of nice to have intelligent conversation for once."

Both of us laughed openly. "And I suppose that talking to yourself will look less odd this way." I joked.

My Prime snorted. "If we manage to survive the night, that is." He reminded me. My smile fell as I remembered that just because he had produced one sapient Clone didn't mean we were safe.

I began to unravel the rest of the Scroll as my Prime crossed his fingers. With half a dozen puffs of smoke, six more Narutos were sitting among us. Two of them went to work, disappearing into the forest with their kunai and rope, and one clone took off towards the village, quickly Transforming into an unassuming visage.

Three of the Naruto Clones just stared at us with glassy eyes. They were duds, Clones that couldn't do anything but take basic orders. I stopped unrolling the Scroll and ordered the three to hand over all their kunai and the three copies of their swords. The three complied and then disappeared into a giant cloud of smoke, leaving behind their weapons.

I took the pile of pointy things and piled them onto the end of the Scroll, preventing it from rerolling shut. Across the clearing was a much larger stack of weapons. We weren't sure how long they would last, but they shared the same durability and sharpness as their originals (even if it wasn't the same for the Clones themselves), so there was no reason to not try and find some use for them.

The clearing that Mizuki's instructions led me to a small clearing, which had a small shed, in which had been a giant scroll to copy the Scroll's contents into. We had immediately grabbed that blank scroll and relocated to a much larger clearing further away to do our training. Mizuki thought I would take the copied scroll to Orochimaru, which of course I had no intention of doing, but it would be good to have a physical copy to peruse later, after the Shadow Clone copies of it were destroyed.

I could use this time to partially memorize the contents though. Writing something down helped you understand it, after all.

Suddenly, something clicked into my brain, and I had a sudden feeling of vertigo as my brain suddenly had the clear, clean memories of a sword stabbing into my stomach overlapping the same memory of simply sitting on the forest floor in the clearing.

"Gods above, I'm an asshole." I muttered to myself. He could've just released the Jutsu to test the memory return, but of course he had to stab himself instead. I could feel the echo of his amusement at the thought of annoying me and the original, as apparently, we looked all too serious when he had been formed.

The original met my eyes. "Did you get that too?" He asked. I nodded, and he smiled grimly. Since that Clone had succeeded and I had gotten the memories, then the other Clones knew that they could continue with the plan rather than test the memory return as well.

"Do you want me to do this?" I gestured to the Scroll. It would be better if he were to remain alert so that he could make more Clones, but I wanted to run it by him first.

The Prime shook his head and formed a group of a dozen Clones, most of whom were functional. The functional Clones nodded at us and disappeared into the forest.

I sighed. "I guess I'm on Plan B, then?" I asked rhetorically.

"Damn right." My progenitor agreed. "Think you're up to it?"

I cracked my neck and gave the Prime a lazy grin that didn't betray the clenching in my guts. Plan B was practically unbeatable, but if we had to resort to it, we would be risking much. "I think I'm a little bit more inclined to it than you. Hard to meditate with a stick up your ass, right?"

The Prime smacked my head almost hard enough for me to disappear. "No swearing." He chided. "Our parents raised us better than that." He shooed me away and took over my job of recording the Scroll while I sat by the trees and shut my eyes, trying to shut out the world.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't hard to figure out where to go once I was back in the village. The lights within the houses were still off, but blurs of darkness darted across the rooftops, all converging at the place of the break in, and I followed on the ground, picking up my speed to shinobi levels as I reformed my Transformation into the visage of a painfully generic shinobi with broad shoulders and long hair, the opposite of Naruto.

The rooftop of the Hokage Tower was crowded with various shinobi, far more than I had expected to see. Given that only ten-ish people seemed to graduate from the Ninja Academy per year and their forces had suffered quite a bit from the Nine-Tails Attack, there were probably a few hundred shinobi here. I was surprised we could all fit.

The Hokage was surrounded by ANBU and weathering the yells of the surrounding shinobi with calm stoicism.

"That brat has finally shown his true colors. Lord Hokage, please authorize deadly force when we finally track him down!"

"Sir, what level should we assume the boy to be?"

"What if he's already gone? The other nations would never pass up a chance at someone like him."

To my surprise, not all of the shouts were overtly negative towards Naruto. In fact, most seemed to prioritize getting back the Scroll of Sealing over harming Naruto, and only showed disdain for him as a traitor rather than hatred for a jinchuriki.

Still, I wouldn't want them to know who I really was. Here I was, surrounded by the people tasked with defending the village, and none of them could see through my Transformation. Were there no sensors in the Leaf Village?

Throughout all the questions and demands, the Hokage said nothing, staring at the crowd with the same expression as a weary teacher waiting for their class to quiet down. On one level, I respected the resolve he could show in the face of so many screaming shinobi, on the other hand, he had to have woken up just recently if he still wasn't answering questions, and if I really had been a traitor I could've been out of the country already.

…Wait, there had to be more to this. The Hokage had his crystal ball, and I knew he used it to observe Naruto in canon during the Mizuki Incident, so why even assemble the forces?

"Hey, do you know what's happening?" I asked a kunoichi next to me, my voice low and gravely.

"Not much." The woman admitted. I tried not to stare at her, surprised at the familiar voice. That was the same voice as the woman who had come to relieve that slacker guard up front. What was her name…Nosuke? "One of the guards came upon the Hokage passed out and sent out an emergency signal to gather all of us, but we haven't been given any more orders or information, except for the fact that it was Naruto Uzumaki who did it, and he stole the Scroll of Sealing."

I narrowed my eyes as I digested the information. So, the Hokage hadn't been the one to assemble his forces, huh?

Several pieces fell into place. I couldn't exactly verify it, but I had a feeling that only a few select people knew about the Hokage's ability to monitor anyone he wanted in the village. It was, after all, a huge invasion of privacy. The NRA would kill to have such an ability. So Hiruzen couldn't simply say 'don't worry, I'll use my all-seeing crystal ball to track him down', but he had to do something to take control, and soon. After all, it was now common knowledge that an academy student had beaten the Hokage.

But then again, how had anyone known that it was me who had stolen the Scroll in the first place? That didn't sound like information that Sarutobi would want out and about.

Then I saw a flash of blue hair and realized that Mizuki was standing not five feet away from me, silent and still as he stared at the leader of the Leaf Village. As I watched him, I saw a twitch at the corner of his mouth, and there was open malice shining in his eyes.

Well, that explained how people knew. Mizuki must be quite a social butterfly at these little gatherings.

"Are you all done?"

Say what you want about Hiruzen Sarutobi, but he could really shut up a group of people. He gave a sweeping look that seemed to look everyone in the eyes individually.

"Yes, it is true that Naruto Uzumaki stole the Scroll of Sealing and his location is unknown at this time." Sarutobi continued. I noticed he didn't say anything about my having knocked him out in the process. "However, know that I have heard your comments. While Naruto has a unique position in our village, he is still technically a civilian and has not shown any desire to kill or seriously injure any member of the Leaf Village. As such, he is to be taken alive, and is only designated to be a C-Class threat. He is presumed to still be within Village limits. The ANBU will tell you where to search. Dismissed."

With that, the Hokage disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and the shinobi around me began heading towards the ANBU to receive their assignments. I kept my eyes on Mizuki and saw him slowly slip away and leap towards the forest.

I should probably release the Jutsu now and alert the other Clones of Mizuki's incoming presence.

But…

The Hokage had disappeared, presumably to go check his crystal ball. He would be able to see everything going on in the forest, then he would see me kill Mizuki. I was sure I could spin the situation so that it wasn't _too_ suspicious, especially with how crazy Mizuki was, but…I was mostly sure that the crystal ball homed in on a particular chakra signal to track people, and currently my chakra was spread across several dozen Clones. How would that affect its capabilities?

With so many shinobi moving at once, no one noticed me moving to the stairs and heading downstairs. I wasn't sure what the top floor was normally used for, but in this case all of the doors were dark except for one, and even from down the hallway I could hear people talking.

I crept closer, and the words became more audible…and I definitely heard my name. I put my ear to the door and shut my eyes, focusing on the sounds coming from within.

"…and I'm mostly sure that someone's outside." A monotone voice said.

Ah shit. I jerked my head away just in time for the door to spring open. Within was the Hokage sitting in front of a small desk with a small crystal ball nestled in a purple pillow that was glowing with a cornucopia of varying colors.

Surrounding him were some very familiar looking people. A tall man with a covered face and spiky silver hair, a buxom woman with red eyes and odd clothing, as well as a scruffy looking man with a cigarette in his mouth. I had just gotten caught eavesdropping on a group of people with enough firepower between them to decimate a city.

"Hm, he doesn't look familiar. Who are you?" The tall man with silver hair asked me, his single hooded eye focused on me with an intensity that betrayed his relaxed appearance.

I struggled not to show too much of the fear that was coursing through me. If anything happened to me, it wouldn't hurt the original, I reminded myself. That fact was not very comforting, and I could feel a bead of sweat roll down my skin. Thankfully, being able to pull of the Sexy Jutsu under life or death situation had made my handling of the regular Transformation that much easier.

"I'm…Arashi." I said. Could none of them tell that I was under a Transformation? I knew that it could mimic people fairly well, but was it really that powerful? Hell, if Sarutobi knew my chakra signature well enough to use the crystal ball, then why couldn't he recognize me when I was right in front of him?

I looked at the crystal ball, which was still rapidly moving through various hues with no real pattern that I could see. Was this its default, or was this an effect of the Clone's presence?

"Is there something you find interesting about my crystal ball, young man?" The Hokage asked. "And you might as well come in if you're already there."

How could I spin this so that I could find out whether or not the ball was active? Words ran through my mind and I opened my mouth…

The various colors on the crystalline surface fizzed, and suddenly resolved itself into a picture of a nondescript young man with long hair wearing the typical garb of a Konoha shinobi. He looked very surprised, and so did the picture of the Hokage and the jonin within the crystal ball.

Curious, I took a step back, and the image fizzled out again. I took a step forward, and the image came back.

A tension like static filled the air, and my grasp on the chakra covering me was suddenly and violently ripped away. I gave a cheeky smile to the stunned expressions on the ninja's faces and reached back in my mind for that odd mental switch that was present in all Clones from the moment we came into existence.

I had gotten all the information I needed, after all.

"Bye!" I flicked that mental switch, and whatever anchored the chakra in Naruto's shape disappeared.

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The forest was quiet at night.

My back was pressed into the rough bark of one of the trees, practically glued there with chakra. For further measure, my arms and legs were also channeling chakra to help me stick to the tree. A breeze as cold as anything I had ever felt before ripped through me, and the tree swayed gently.

After the first time that had happened, I had become glad for Naruto's goggles, as otherwise my eyes would've been watering too much for me to see. They gave everything a slightly greenish tint, but the moon was full, and its rays illuminated everything below me.

Had this been any other day, I would be full of pride. This was the tallest tree that I could find in the vicinity of the clearing, and I had climbed it. Limbs trembling, eyes shut, and heart pounding, I had managed to get to the top with a combination of mundane tree climbing and chakra-endowed tree climbing. For someone with my particular phobia, it was tremendous progress.

But now wasn't the time for pride. I knew other Clones were also posted around the clearing in various intervals. A few of them hadn't managed to climb successfully, and I now had more than a few memories of falling to my death from those who had slipped up. It was our job to observe and report, and so we couldn't be distracted by our fears.

Down far below, I could see the clearing that Mizuki had told us to go to, the same one where Naruto had learned the Shadow Clone Jutsu in canon. One of the first Clones was down there, paining out a copy of the Scroll of Sealing. He had been at it for over twenty minutes and had gotten a good way of the way through, even though the work itself was worthless. Both he, and the fake Scroll of Sealing, were just Clones of the originals after all.

I knew that there were more of us down there. Like me, they had abandoned the orange jumpsuits in favor of the little dark clothing that Naruto had at his apartment, just enough to let us blend in with the forest background.

Another breeze shook the tree, and I clung all the tighter to the tree, even as I kept my eyes roaming. I could see the patterns that the wind was having on the leaves below, catching and releasing the branches and needles at random. It was so soothing…

Something glinted in the distance, and something moved in the trees that wasn't caused by the wind.

I barely had time to register that thought before more memories slotted into my brain, another one of the patrol Clones. Mizuki, dressed for battle, had passed by not ten feet from one of the Clones, a maniacal smile on his face.

As if in response to the previous burst of memories (which it was), another wave of information swept into my mind from one of the Clones back at the base. Cold determination from another Clone gave me something other than the tree to cling to.

There were Clones in the bushes.

There were Clones in the trees.

There were Clones armed with kunai. Clones armed with swords. Clones armed with the simple desperation of a man way out of his depth and willing to fight anyway.

A cold smile came to my face as I watched the traitor slowly approach the clearing. Mizuki may be ready for battle…

But so were we.

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"Hello, Naruto." Mizuki's voice came from above. My fingers spasmed, and I shot a glare at the man as he dropped down onto the forest floor, trying to play off my scared reaction as merely being surprised. There was a good ten feet between us.

Mizuki had decided to forgo the maniacal grin that I had known he had had on his face mere moments ago, but his face twitched in a clear effort to keep it off. "Hello, sensei." I said with a certain degree of irony. "How goes things on the home front?"

"Oh, fantastic." Mizuki purred, his smile slowly winning its fight against his self-control. "Everyone is searching for you...but no one knows that you're here."

I snorted and gestured to the fake scroll, which wasn't even halfway done. "Well, do you think you could help me out here? I'm not the fastest writer."

"Oh, I'll help you out, alright." Despite the ominous words, Mizuki somehow managed to keep his voice level, though his grin had grown so large that I could individually pick out each one of his teeth.

Then, in a blur of motion, he unholstered one of the giant shuriken on his back, and sent it hurtling straight at me. Given how close we were, it would've been impossible for him to miss…

Had I not already been halfway through the hand signs for the Substitution Jutsu. A moment of disorientation later, and I was staring down at Mizuki from above. Fear rose up in the pit of my stomach, and I clung desperately to the bark of the tree.

Focus, you moron, I chastised myself.

"Mizuki, what're you doing?" I yelled down at him. The man's head jerked up and his eyes immediately focused on me.

"Just getting rid of a little upstart who thinks he's clever." Mizuki said, no longer trying to restrain the grin on his face or hatred in his voice. His eyes were wide, and even from far up I could see that his pupils were dilated. It all combined to give him a manic air.

"We had a deal! You get nothing if you kill me!" I yelled. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something shift. Another Clone, no doubt. My eyes went from Mizuki to the enormous shuriken that was embedded into the tree across the clearing. He only had one more of those, and presumably he had all of the standard ninja tools on him as well.

Mizuki sneered at me and then, with another blur of motion, there was a hail of weapons flying at me. This time, I wasn't prepared, and the brief second that it took for me to stop sticking to the tree with chakra cost me.

The kunai bit into my skin, and I-

-watched as our first Clone died to Mizuki's assault. It looked like Mizuki had lost three kunai to kill that Clone. However, given that he had exploded into smoke and how Mizuki was looking around, it seemed that he thought that Clone had Substituted himself away.

It would be no good if Mizuki went charging into the forest to look for Naruto. He needed to stay in the clearing.

"Mizuki, stop!" I shouted from my hidden position. It wasn't hard to put fear into my voice. "I'll do whatever you want, just don't kill me!"

The man's narrowed eyes quickly locked on my position, and he sent another barrage of kunai at me. I tried to leap out of the way, not wanting to waste anymore chakra, but Mizuki wasn't a chunin for nothing, and the last thing I saw was the kunai thudded right into my-

-throat constricted as I saw Mizuki nail the Clone that had spoken out, and his memories passed into me. Even if there wasn't enough time for us to feel pain before we died, it was still a disconcerting experience.

Mizuki let out a bark of laughter that went up an octave higher than it should've. "I know I got you that time, you little shit! So, you went ahead and learned the Shadow Clone Jutsu rather than just copying the Scroll and running, eh? Don't think this means I can't track you down!"

The response to that among the Clones was pretty universal. Namely, we threw our kunai at him. Our aim wasn't that good, but the dozens of weapons that suddenly cut through the air effectively made up for that deficiency.

The blue haired chunin danced around the sudden shower of metal, and to my frustration (but not surprise), he had managed to avoid most of the weapons, with the worst injury he took being a cut on his cheek that barely bled at all. He was littered with numerous small injuries, but none were crippling like I had been aiming for.

"Is that all you've got, Naruto?" The man shouted. He took the other shuriken off his back and spun it skillfully, readying it to throw.

"Not even close." A cold voice said.

It spoke to how quickly we had diverged in thought that I was taken by surprise that a Naruto Clone emerged from the bushes, sword at the ready as he advanced with his eyes narrowed. However, we were still at our base the same person, and I could see his logic. Changing up our strategy would keep him off balance. This was a battle of attrition, one we could win.

The Clone charged, and Mizuki lazily dodged his sword swing and drove the shuriken into his chest. By the time the smoke of his passing had cleared, three more Clones were charging at the man with weapons held high.

A grin made its way onto my face as I watched Mizuki parry and attack the sudden horde of clones that were coming at him. Mizuki was a skilled fighter, there was no doubting that, but it was hard to suddenly adapt to fighting a group of enemies who could work in perfect harmony and replaced members as soon as they fell.

A window of opportunity appeared, and I scrambled for my kunai before letting it fly at Mizuki's exposed back. I bit back a swear as one of my Clones stepped into the path of the weapon and popped. The force of my throw carried me forward and I nearly capsized down to the ground, but managed to keep my grip.

The battle continued, and I continued to watch, as did several other Clones, watching how Mizuki chose to block and parry. Rather than lasting longer, Clones began to die quicker as they gained more experience fighting the man and Mizuki kept upping his speed and ferocity. Worse still, every time one Clone died, there was a moment of lag in the others as they processed the new memories. Pressure behind my eyes began to build as more and more Clones died to the traitor.

I could see lines of injuries appearing on Mizuki's form, and his manic grin had become a scowl that he maintained through puffs of breath. He ducked under another sword strike as he lashed out with his enormous weapon, taking the life of another Clone.

A glint of steel, and a kunai sunk into Mizuki's shoulder. His arm spasmed and his enormous shuriken clattered to the ground. The Clones didn't hesitate, and Mizuki soon gained bleeding wounds just above his hit, along his collarbone, and all along the inside of his arm.

"Enough!" The shinobi leapt into the air, and for half a heart-pounding second, I thought he was coming for me, and was going to make serious on his threat to hunt us all down. Instead, his hands blurred together, and the earth exploded.

The dust that it threw up was enough to cloud my vision, but not for long, and soon I saw the results of Mizuki's Jutsu, and my blood ran cold. Enormous spires of earth jutted out of the ground, littering the entire clearing. The shed off to the side had been completely destroyed, and so had the Shadow Clone copies of the real and copy of the Scroll of Sealing.

My heart sank as no more Clones came to join the fray. Were they like me, paralyzed up in the trees? Surely the Prime was sending more Clones, but if I was the only one left, then that left Mizuki free to try and track down the Prime before the Clones arrived.

That couldn't be allowed to happen.

So instead, I gathered up my chakra, and began to climb down to the forest floor.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Heh. Knew I got you with that one, brat." Mizuki spat at me. Literally, he spat. I could feel spittle land on my face and grimaced, raising a shaky hand to wipe it away. My other hand was covering a gaping wound in my side that had already thoroughly stained my hand red.

"Why, Mizuki?" I asked, making sure to make my voice raspy and thick. I wasn't sure exactly how someone sounded after they had been stabbed, but I imagined that it sounded somewhat like that. "We had a deal."

The traitor threw back his head and cackled as he stooped to pick up the Scroll of Sealing that was lying a few feet away from me, covered in dust from the explosion of earth. "I don't care about prestige." He sneered at me as I struggled to move. My back was propped up against the back of a tree and I glared daggers at him through labored breathing. "Just power. And Orochimaru will give it to me if I give him this Scroll and tell him that one of the Leaf Village's greatest weapons is dead."

"Greatest weapon?" I gave him my best confused look even as a sudden rush of information dropped into my head. I struggled to contain the grin that was fighting for space on my face. The Clones had arrived.

"That's right, Naruto. They never told you, but the truth is that _you_ are actually the _Nine-Tailed F-_ "

A sudden _squelch_ interrupted him, and Mizuki's eyes bugged out before they slowly moved down to see the bloody sword tip protruding from just below his solar plexus. He looked over his shoulder and found that the Scroll of Sealing was no longer there, having released its Transformation, replaced by my recently formed Shadow Clone.

Blood began to dribble out from Mizuki's clenched teeth, and his hands blurred towards one another, probably to cast that earth spike Jutsu again.

"Now!" Someone shouted. In an explosion of blue and yellow, Mizuki was tackled towards the garden of protruding earth spires, the Shadow Clone that stabbed him through the back moving aside but leaving the sword within him. Multiple Clones grabbed his exposed limbs and stabbed their kunai into his flesh, punching through the skin and bone of his hands and into the earth. Ropes surrounded every possible place that Mizuki could leverage force, binding him as tightly as possible. The hilt was driven up against the earth and drove the blade further into Mizuki as was physically possible. Mizuki jerked and screamed with pain, which elicited no sympathy for his captors. We all remembered dying dozens of times at his hands, after all.

"I have to tell you, that looks really cool from a third person point of view." Mizuki's eyes bulged as I stood easily, pulling my hand away from the wound in my side, releasing the Transformation and making the 'wound' disappear. That Jutsu really came in handy.

"You little bastard." Mizuki hissed, his voice somewhat strangled from the rope around his throat. It was looser than the others, to allow him to speak. "You tricked me."

"Yup." I said blandly, striding forward. I looked toward one of the Clones who were watching the two of us with crossed arms and narrowed eyes. "Is Plan B still a go?"

He nodded. "Though apparently all of the memory influxes make it hard to relax, something he was quite persistent in telling the Prime."

I snorted. Good to know that even the most laid-back and confident of us could be assholes with the pressure dialed up. I glanced towards the traitor and a grin grew on my face. "Plan B was releasing the Nine-Tails, by the way." I informed him casually.

A few Clones snickered as Mizuki choked seemed to choke on his own saliva. "What? You can do that? Wait, you knew?"

Of course, Plan B wasn't to release Kurama, just to ask him for his chakra, but there was no reason to clarify for Mizuki. It was our last resort, because even if none of the shinobi could find us now, surely the demonic chakra would act as a beacon, and then people would know that I could summon that power as needed.

"Of course I knew." I told the man. "Why else would people hate me so much?"

"Then why would you join Orochimaru if you didn't need information?" The man ground out. His ability to speak through the pain of his injuries was almost admirable.

"Oh, come on." One of the other Clones burst out. "We were never going to join Orochimaru. You weren't luring _us_ out here. We were luring _you_."

"Stop playing with your food, men." A weary voice chided. I turned around and saw two figures shuffling out of the trees, one supporting the other. They both had the same features, but one's eyes were hooded and dark, his features haggard.

The Prime.

I took a step back, as did the other Clones, as the Prime and his Second moved closer. Over the Second's shoulder was the real Scroll of Sealing, with the copy nowhere in sight. I wondered where it had gone.

"Do you want me to do this?" The Second asked, his voice gentle. I was struck for a moment how bizarre this was, one version of myself comforting another version of myself, and exchanging looks with other Clones I saw they felt the same.

The Prime waved him off and took a few steps forward under his own power, nearly buckling. I remembered how tired I had been when I was him, and that had been several dozen Shadow Clones ago. "You're not my mother." The Prime complained. He made a shooing gesture. "You know what to do."

The Second pursed his lips and nodded before jogging off in the direction of the Leaf Village, Scroll of Sealing bouncing up and down on his back.

The Prime looked back at Mizuki, and his weariness seemed to melt away. A shiver went down my spine as I saw the cold look on Naruto Uzumaki's face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

My steps came easier as I drew closer to the traitor, though it still took far too much effort for my liking. I was down to a mere fraction of the chakra that I normally had, and my tenketsu burned like embers as my nervous system screamed at me.

"It's beyond stupid for me to be here." I mused aloud, looking over Mizuki's restraints lazily. "There's still technically a chance you could break free, even if my Clones would kill you before you could reach me."

Mizuki sneered at me, seemingly unconcerned with my inner thoughts. "Why did you lure me out here? How did you know about my meeting with Orochimaru?" He demanded. He was surprisingly cogent for having most of a sword poking out of his stomach.

I looked into the man's dark, manic eyes and tried to feel something. Pity, disgust, maybe even sympathy. After all, weren't we similar men? We wanted power and used subterfuge to get it. But still, all I could feel was a bone deep weariness. I just wanted this to be over.

"I'll answer…your first question." I decided. I shrugged my sheath over my shoulder and drew my sword with it's audible, dramatic _shiink_. "I needed your plan so that I could get my hands on the Scroll of Sealing. Of course, I'll be returning the original so that I can still be a ninja, but I needed to learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu. However, I did have another reason."

"Oh yeah? Do tell." The man bit out. A fit of coughing overtook him, and he vomited a heap of blood down his front. I could just leave him be and have him die, but that would defeat the point of this little game.

"Because I need to be able to kill you." I said blandly. "I don't have time to hesitate about killing someone when the stakes are high. I need to learn to kill my enemies when need be, and you just happened to be the closest one at hand that no one would miss."

Mizuki strained against his bindings, but a combination of his overwhelming restrictions and the amount of pain he was in kept him firmly in place. My sword was almost ten times the weight it should've been, but the point didn't waver as I gently placed it at the Mizuki's throat, just below his Adam's apple. His eyes crossed as he tried to keep the tip in vision.

I looked around at the Clones surrounding me. All of them had stoic looks on their face, and as I met their eyes they nodded. I knew what had to be done, but something about seeing physical agreement helped.

To Mizuki's credit, he didn't beg. He didn't plead. He didn't try to barter or threaten me. He met my eyes and spit a wad of phlegm and blood into my face.

I wiped it off with one hand and felt the muscles of my face contort into something approximating a smile. Despite my best efforts, it wouldn't budge.

Mizuki gasped as the blade plunged forward, barely going in a few inches before meeting resistance. A slight frown touching my mouth, I put more of my weight behind the weapon, and the steel began to inch forward until I could feel it exit the back of his neck and slam into the earth behind him. Rivulets of blood were staining his shirt and the ropes that bound him, permeating the forest with its thick, revolting scent. His eyes bulged out of his skull as his lifeforce seeped out of him, and then his head dropped forward, his body going limp.

I removed the sword, now slick with blood, and let it drop to the ground. I took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. In a darkly ironic twist, despite my tiredness…I doubt I'd be able to sleep now.

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The room was filled with a sweet, smoky aroma that was slowly filtered out through an open window that looked out over all the Leaf Village. It made sense to give the Hokage's office a view over the entire village so that the Hokage could see any threats, but despite my Clones breakthroughs about heights, I was still a bit leery.

"You…tell an interesting story, Naruto." Sarutobi said, his voice slow and heavy. I noticed that he didn't call me 'my boy' but couldn't bring up the energy to care. I was sure that I wasn't nearly as tired as the Prime, but I still had all the memories of dying dozens of times.

The Scroll of Sealing was laid out on the desk between myself and Sarutobi, who stared at me with heavy eyes. He hadn't said anything in quite awhile after I'd told my story, which was basically just the first Naruto episode, but with a darker twist at the end. Mizuki tricked me into stealing the scroll, we fought, he told me about the Nine-Tails, and then I used the Shadow Clone Jutsu to win.

"I do have a question…why did you come to us? Why send a disguised Clone to spy on us?" The man asked. His voice was calm, and I knew that he probably believed me given that there was precedent for mentors convincing young ninja to steal precious artifacts, after all that's how the Sword of the Thunder God got stolen. But still, I needed to give an explanation so as to not provoke suspicion.

Unfortunately, sending in a Clone wasn't something that Naruto would've regularly done. So instead of going with bravado, I met the man's dark, deep eyes and tried to channel both sincerity and somberness.

"Because I'm smarter than Mizuki gave me credit for. Stealing a high-priority document and memorizing its contents…sure, Iruka has told us about how we might have to do that. But the defenses were way too weak for it to be a good test of stealth, and then for the secondary obstacle to be a Kage? That's too suspicious. So, when I came back and the entire force of the Leaf Village was assembled? Yeah, I got suspicious."

Sarutobi took a deep pull on his pipe and let it out again, mulling over what I said. "And why you decided to eavesdrop on us rather than just telling us that Mizuki had tricked you?"

"Because Mizuki was on the way, and I needed to let the Prime know." I lied immediately. "I know you're fast, old man, but in the time it took to explain everything to you and for you to find the clearing, Mizuki could've found and killed the real me."

Sarutobi looked at me with surprise…and then a broad smile broke out on his face. "Ah, so you already figured out that Clones transfer memories to their original?" He asked rhetorically. "And the fact that you managed to learn it in a few hours? I think that you're far more intelligent than you give yourself credit for."

I felt a flush cover my face and dropped my gaze from the Hokage's eyes, even as he chuckled in amusement. "T-thanks, old man." I muttered.

When I looked back to Sarutobi there was still a gentle smile on his face, but there was also something else in his eyes, with long lines prominent on his face. "My boy…you don't have to be strong now."

"What?" The word slipped out of my mouth without my consent, a byproduct of my tiredness.

The old man gave me a gentle smile. "Killing someone for the first time is never easy."

Something caught in my chest, and I bit my lip. The Prime hadn't been sure how well he would react to killing someone, so he had sent me to explain the situation properly. "Then…I'm not the one you want to talk to."

The old man's brows furrowed, and instead of answering, I pointed out the window. Sarutobi followed my direction to see the Hokage Monument, covered in dark shadows as everything else was in the middle of the night.

However, if you squinted a bit, on the very top of cliff, over the Fourth Hokage's face…you could see a spot of yellow hair.

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The entirety of the Leaf Village yawned out beneath me, its details almost completely hidden despite my night vision. That was okay. I wasn't really looking at it.

All of my Clones had dispersed, returning to me almost a quarter of my chakra, which helped with the chakra exhaustion, but didn't help with the burning pain of my tenketsu, which didn't decrease in the least as I trudged up to the Hokage Monument. I wasn't exactly sure why I had done it. Apparently, my flair for the dramatic was so deep rooted that even emotional turmoil couldn't dislodge it.

I snorted at that thought. Even my thoughts were overly dramatic. After all, I barely felt anything right now.

Even the height barely affected me. My legs dangled over the edge, a dozen feet from the enormous head of Fourth Hokage. If I went over, would I be able to stick to the head in the brief second after I slammed into it and continued falling?

That thought failed to fill me with any fear whatsoever. When my Clones had been up in the trees, they had needed to fight through their fear by constantly reminding themselves that this was necessary to prevent Mizuki from killing us. Now…

The sound of grass being crushed underfoot got closer and closer, and then suddenly the wind that had been brushing up against my back was gone.

"I would recommend looking at the Village when the sun is rising. It's quite a beautiful sight." Sarutobi's voice came from behind me. "And with all the orange, I think you'd quite enjoy it."

It was a good thing that I didn't have to look at him or pretend to be Naruto at the moment, because I just couldn't summon that kind of enthusiasm. Instead, I gave a non-committal grunt.

The wind started to rustle through my hair once again as the old man settled onto the cliff next to me. Unlike me, he didn't dangle his legs over the edge, and instead had them gracefully folded almost like he was meditating. His voice wasn't as warm as they had been with my Second, but I was glad for that.

Violence had never been a big part of my life. In fact, it had specifically been _excluded_ from my life. My parents had always been very much aware of what a life of violence could do to a person, and they made sure to keep that away from me and my siblings. No violent books, no violent movies, no violent video games.

So of course, I had always been curious. Forbidding children from seeing violence was the quickest way to get them interested in it. I could've certainly pulled off being a crazy berserker, but that had never been as fascinating as the ruthless chess master who used everything they could to their advantage. People like Nick Campbell, people like Kiritsigu Emiya, people Gaius Sextus.

Of course, I knew that part of the arcs of these characters was learning to let people in, that their methods were imperfect and took a severe psychological toll on them. However, you couldn't deny the results.

So of course, I had been curious. Could I be like these men, do what they do?

I took a deep breath…and let it out. My breath wasn't shaky, and as I raised a hand to run it though my hair, it didn't tremble. I wasn't freaking out. What did that say about me? Was I some sort of psychopath? Why wasn't I freaking out? Why wasn't I freaking out? Why wasn't I freaking out?

"Why…" The word came thickly out of my mouth, and I swallowed. "Why don't I feel anything?"

I was sure that I would berate myself for this later. Revealing that I wasn't freaking out about killing someone wasn't good for my cover, but…Sarutobi had been a shinobi for decades. He had to know someone who had gone through something like this, right?

Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Sarutobi to reach out to put a hand on my shoulder, hesitate, and retract it. He slowly pulled out his pipe, and the mountaintop became briefly scented with the familiar smell of his tobacco before the wind pulled it away.

"People react to trauma differently, my boy." He said finally. "The first man that I killed was somebody who wasn't even a threat to me. It was a mission to eliminate a camp of bandits, men who had no experience wielding chakra. When we were done, my entire team had killed fourteen men. Of those fourteen, I had killed seven."

The man paused, seemingly lost in his own memories. He was an old man, after all. "And…?" I prompted.

"And that night, I decided to take the first shift watching over our camp, and once I was alone, I spent nearly an hour doing nothing but shaking and vomiting. I never let my teammates or sensei know about that and put up a stoic façade instead. It took years for me to admit that it had shaken me."

I let out a long breath. "That…doesn't really help, old man." That was a bit dick-ish to say to someone who was (probably) trying to help, but…Sarutobi freaking out and not wanting anyone to know didn't scan very well to the reverse happening to me.

"I was getting to that." The Hokage chastised gently. "Because I wasn't the only one who killed their first person on that mission. My best friend killed five men, and one reason I was so ashamed of my reaction was because he didn't seem to have reacted at all. When I tapped him for his shift, he immediately got up and took his position."

His best friend. That would be Danzo, wouldn't it? I got a sick feeling in my guts at where this story might be going.

"But then, I woke up in the morning, and he hadn't switched out with anyone else. I found him watching the sunrise, having stood there for over seven hours without moving. At the time, I thought that it was because he wanted to prove that he could do his job without needing to sleep, he was just like that, but years later…I realized he was dealing with it in his own way, by shutting down and convincing even himself that nothing was wrong. And he went on to be a great ninja, one of the best in the Leaf Village."

...

A bubble of hysterical laughter nearly rose to the surface, but it was crushed underneath the great apathy that covered my thoughts. So…the reassurance that I wasn't a monster was that Danzo Shimura turned out to be a good apple? The man who harvested Sharingan eyes from the massacred Uchiha, who trained children to be unfeeling killing machines, and worked with a homicidal missing ninja, all for the greater good?

Yeah…That did sort of sound like something I would do.

"Thanks, old man." I said finally. "That…that helps."

And it did, just not in the way Sarutobi intended it. Danzo may have once been a good shinobi, but once he became obsessed with securing the Leaf Village, he was willing to sacrifice anything and anyone to do it, including the members of the same Village he was trying to protect.

For the greater good…

I wouldn't do that. Nicholas Campbell didn't become truly powerful until he learned to let people in. Kiritsigu Emiya learned that his methods could never truly fix the problems he was trying to solve. Gaius Sextus was only willing to do what he did because he knew that his heir would be the one to truly fix things.

Danzo never learned those lessons, but I knew better. I wouldn't sacrifice innocents to complete my plans, wouldn't fuck with children like he did. I wouldn't hesitate to kill those that stood in my way, but I was trying to save the world, not just the Leaf Village.

The night continued to grow colder as Sarutobi and I watched over the Leaf Village. My fingers and toes became numb, as did my face, but I couldn't bring myself to move, and Sarutobi didn't suggest that we go inside, even when he ran out of tobacco and he could do nothing but stare out over the buildings.

All too soon, the darkness was leeched away by the first rays of the sun dawning on the horizon. Its rays were incredibly painful to my exhausted, bleary eyes, and yet I still didn't move. I watched it continue to rise and transform the Leaf Village. I saw the bare beginnings of a city stirring, and knew within a few hours people would be going about their daily lives once more.

I took a deep breath of the crisp morning air and turned to Sarutobi and offered him as much of a smile as I could muster. "It really does look beautiful, old man."

"It does indeed, my boy. Every day that you can see the sun rise is a good day."

I hummed noncommittally. "Thank you…for sitting with me. Do you want to go inside? I'm sure that you have duties to attend to today."

The old man smiled without moving his eyes away from the Village below. "No. I think I'd like to stay here for a while longer."

I turned my eyes back to the buildings and streets hundreds of feet underneath my feet, aglow with the bright orange and red morning rays. "That sounds nice."

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**Boom! This chapter was so long that I considered breaking it up into two parts, but considering that I'd been building to this fight and aftermath since the first chapter, I figured I'd to it in one go. So y'all are welcome.**

**Questions are welcome, and always remember to FOLLOW, FAVORITE, AND REVIEW**


	8. Chapter 8

Bright Orange

Chapter 08: New Beginnings

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Sunday morning came far too quickly for my liking. After everything that had happened on Friday night, I had managed to make it all the way back to my apartment before crashing to the floor, where I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep, which was honestly the best thing I could've hoped for given the day's events.

Apparently Sarutobi had gone ahead and called off the search for me, otherwise I might've been arrested and/or stabbed while I was passed out, which would've been a sucky way to spend a Saturday.

Of course, the downside to the situation was waking up on the floor with the light streaming into the room doing its damndest to stab into my eyes. Groaning, I sat up slowly and stumbled into an upright position, squinting around Naruto's apartment, taking it in with numb eyes.

True to my theory, several things were displaced around the apartment, a clear indication that someone had searched through it, but my will was still in the same place I had left it. I swallowed a sigh but didn't move to pick it up or hide. I would need to come up with a more efficient method of giving people important information in the event of my death, but for now I would leave it in case I somehow ended up dying sometime soon.

However, it looks like I didn't need it in this instance. I had lived. I won. How about that…

On autopilot, I went about moving everything back to its proper position, my eyes drinking in the ordinary, everyday appearance of the place that I had been sleeping for the past two weeks, yet still was unmistakably not mine. Finally, they came to rest on the windowsill where Naruto's little line of plants sat, their green stalks withered and clearly on their last legs (roots?).

My hand moved on its own and pulled a glass from the cabinet, filling it dangerously close to spilling and moving over to the window. I tipped the glass over and the liquid splashed down onto the plant below, which almost seemed to perk up as it drank in the water.

Within a few seconds, all of the plants were watered, though I had no idea whether or not they required a lot or a little. The little plants would have to just deal with it.

I looked down at my watch, which was scratched somehow during the events of last night, and let out another sigh. It was already eight in the morning, which basically meant that it was already noon, which basically meant that the day was already over. It was a good thing that I had gotten that 24-hour nap in, because now that I had access to the Shadow Clone Jutsu, and I planned to abuse it to hell.

"Shadow Clone Jutsu." I called out loudly. As I had figured out last night, it was possible to cast a technique without vocalizing it, but something about calling it out made it come easier. That was something I would have to experiment with later.

A good half dozen Clones took place around me, each with as small a sliver of chakra as I could manage, so that I could see how long they could last. Their eyes were on me immediately, focused and alert. I smiled, though the expression felt strange on my face. The number of Clones that were duds had gotten much smaller with all the practice I had gotten on Friday.

The Clones continued to stare at me, as if expecting orders. "Well?" I asked, impatient. "You guys know the plan." After all, _I_ knew what I wanted them to do, and had created them with that in mind.

"Yeah, but…" All of the Clones started, then stared at each other. Then, once again, all in unison, "Which of us?"

I stared at the six copies of myself, bemused. This hadn't been an issue on Friday. One of the Clones tentatively raised a hand, and I gestured to him like a teacher allowing a student to speak.

"Ah, I think that, without the immediate threat of Mizuki possibly killing us, we're a little more adrift." The Clone said hesitantly.

Huh. He was responding to my own thoughts in real time, which meant that he was still was similar enough to me and the others that he had the same ideas, but he was the only one who raised his hand and offered an explanation. Did that mean those few seconds were close enough for him to diverge from me and the others? Or were there always subtle differences in personality, but with most of them so minute that they didn't ever openly show them?

Gah, my head was starting to hurt.

"Okay, we're going to have to work on that in the future, but for now, you and you, go around the village, memorize as much of it as you can. It might come in handy during the Invasion." I pointed to the first two on my left.

"Uh, okay." The first one said. He turned to his compatriot. "So, do you want to take the north or south?"

The second shrugged. "We don't exactly know which way is north, so how about I just go left of the Tower and you go right?"

"Sounds good." The two nodded at each other.

"You two done?" I asked, voice flat and doing my best to project annoyance. The first Clone looked over at me and snickered.

"Dude, that's not nearly as intimidating as you seem to think when you're basically a blonde midget." He mocked. Yup, he was definitely more chipper than I was.

Instead of trying to think over those differences once again, I pointed at the door, and the two Clones rolled their eyes at unison before walking out the door.

"Assholes." One of the other Clones muttered. Dear God, this was going to get confusing quickly without proper labels.

"Ah, we could just call ourselves things like 'Clone One' or something. We don't have a proper Second now, we all have roughly the same amount of chakra." The Shy Clone posited. Apparently, he was still the most similar to me in thoughts.

"I don't know, I can imagine that some of us would argue against that." Clone Three argued.

Clone Four and Shy Clone opened their mouth to say something, and rather than interrupt them, I created another Clone and he immediately dispelled, transferring the knowledge of my designations to the Clones, including the ones that'd left.

"Damnit, I'm Clone Four?" Clone Four protested.

"Yes, you are. Shut up." Clone Five advised. I liked Clone Five.

I pointed at the complainer. "Four, go get me some pain killers. If I'm going to be dealing with all of you, I'm going to need it."

"And we know what to do as well." Three piped up. "I'll look for a civilian library."

"And I'm going clothes shopping." Five added in. I flicked a hand, and Three walked out the door while Two and Four went to go grab some money for their jobs, which probably would deplete most of my money, but I still had enough cup ramen to make it through a few more weeks. It was unhealthy, sure, but Naruto's body had endured a mostly-ramen diet for years now, it could endure a little more.

Shy Clone (who was actually Clone Six, but Shy Clone sounded better), went off and grabbed another one of Naruto's blank scrolls. We walked out the door and began running through the streets, keeping it at just above what a regular human could manage. We could've made it in a few minutes at top speed, but I didn't feel like going fast that morning and apparently neither did the Shy Clone.

Today was slightly different than my normal experience around the Leaf Village, as no one was either pointedly not looking at me or scowling. That seemed to be because they would see me, start going through their regular reactions, then notice that there was another boy that looked exactly like me jogging at my side, and then start gaping.

I was willing to bet that a few people had already seen Clones One through Five wandering around, because they would look at us, then in a different direction, then I would see a look of comprehension dawn on their face. Hopefully people would get used to my Clones running around, because having on-demand people to run errands for you was just too damn useful.

And that thought made me smile, despite my mood.

Despite our slow clip, we made it to the beginnings of the wood quickly, and within a handful of minutes we had come to the clearing that had served as my base for my attack against Mizuki. It was relatively close to the Leaf Village compared to the clearing with the shed that Mizuki had lead me to, but it was far away from all of the training grounds that I had stumbled upon, as well as the hiking trails that civilians used.

The moment we had stepped into the forest, I created a batch of close to fifty Clones, who went about the monotonous task of picking leaves from the trees and plopping onto the ground, ignoring us completely. The Shy Clone and I left them be and continued onto our destination.

Despite it not having been very long, I felt a wash of nostalgia as the leaves of the clearing crunched underneath my sandals. All of the extra swords and kunai had disappeared at some point through the night, and the only signs that I had had been there was a section of ground that I had cleared of rocks and leaves so I could copy out the Scroll of Sealing.

Speaking of which…

I winced as I looked at the overturned earth tucked away behind a tree at the edge of the clearing. I had thought it was fairly inconspicuous last night, but in the morning daylight it was painfully obvious. The Shy Clone and I got on our knees and started digging. Part of me was worried that the Shy Clone would scrape his hand on a rock or something and disappear, but luckily no such thing happened.

Huffing, we finally uncovered a large, dirt covered scroll, and managed to maneuver it out of the earth without tearing any of the paper.

"Ah, I don't think it's a good idea to keep storing it here." The Shy Clone suggested. "It's kind of...super visible."

"Point," I admitted. I handed over the scroll to the Shy Clone, and quickly formed twenty Clones, whose creation resulted in a large plume of smoke that had both the Shy Clone and I coughing.

"Do you all know what to do?" I shouted at the Forest Clones. There was a chorus of quietly murmured affirmations, and the Clones all began to wander off, changing their direction once they saw another Clone walking near them. I couldn't hide the Fake Scroll of Sealing in the City, but hopefully one of the Clones could find a hiding place better than a hole in a tree.

"They seemed less than enthusiastic about that." I muttered to the Shy Clone as I formed another batch of Clones, who groaned and started to clamber into the trees to keep watch. The leaf Clones could probably tell if someone was approaching, but it was good to have redundancies. Finally, I invested nearly a fourth of my chakra into a Clone who grimaced in distaste but made a beeline for the Hokage Monument.

"To be fair, they are based off you, and you're asking them to memorize an entire forest. You would probably be bored with that." The Shy Clone pointed out.

I grunted in reluctant agreement. Walking in a forest to explore the beauty of nature was relaxing. Walking in a forest to stash illegal contraband…less relaxing.

"Let's just get to it." I said. "You ready?"

The Shy Clone nodded, handed over the Fake Scroll of Sealing and pulled out his own pen and scroll, settling down on the ground and unrolling his scroll.

"Alright, Test 1 of our first forbidden Jutsu, which I remember correctly is the…Kinetic Burst Jutsu?"

"Ah, close. Apparently, it's called the Chakra to Kinetic Transference Burst. According to the Scroll, it 'expels a bubble of kinetic force around the user', but they never really figured out how to keep it from hurting the user, making it…pretty much 100% lethal if used improperly." I read from the scroll, frowning as I remember that the original Scroll had very graphic illustrations of the results of the Jutsu performed badly.

The Shy Clone smiled slyly at me. "Good thing we have Clones for that work, right?"

I smirked and created another batch of Clones. "Yes, it is. Alright, Jutsu Clones, here are the instructions. First, you have to cover your body with chakra before you start converting it. J Clones One through Five, try doing this with our chakra shroud, and go nuts with the chakra expenditure. J Clones Five through Ten, try the traditional method and try to conserve your chakra."

Settling next to the Shy Clone who was writing out the conditions I had laid out for the Jutsu Clones, I double-checked the instructions and continued reading them off to the J Clones, half aware of the grim smile that was growing on my face.

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My eyes were scanning the discount jackets when a sudden rush of memories made me blink. For a moment, I thought they were just the confused memories of one Clone, then realized that they were really the memories of four different Clones who had all perished at the same time.

And by exploding, too. I grimaced. Clones were dispersed quickly, but we still registered pain in the brief interval before we died, and I did not very much enjoy having the memories of having my organs pulped by a backfiring Jutsu.

Even if we had a method to prevent the Clones from feeling pain, I knew that we would never do it. Knowing what exactly went wrong was too important.

Still, it was a pain. My hand drifted down to my side, right where I had felt my kidneys explode. A shudder ran through me, but I pushed the memory down, trying to look at it objectively.

Apparently, while four of the J Clones had died in their attempts to use the Kinetic Burst Jutsu, one had survived, as I didn't have his memories. Good on him. Now he could describe what went right to the Shy Clone, who would record it, and then the Prime would create new Clones to go off of that.

We could've just had the successful Clone dispel to transfer the memories, but that seemed like a waste of chakra. Enormous chakra capacity or not, the Prime didn't want to have to lay around waiting for it to regenerate, and chakra exhaustion sucked ass.

Still vaguely unnerved by the new memories, I turned my attention back to clothes shopping. As the Prime had created me with little in the way of chakra, I didn't have the Transformation Jutsu available to me, and I hadn't thought to grab my normal disguise on the way out, so everyone still saw me as Naruto Uzumaki.

However, today people's dismissive behavior didn't bother me as much. It was hard to go from pondering the moral implications of your reaction to killing a man in cold blood to worrying about being overcharged for clothes. Besides, another Clone could just come back and buy it later if I really wanted something, but so far, the store owner just seemed content to just ignore me wandering around his store.

From what I could tell, the clothing store I was in was fairly upscale, at least as far as the Leaf Village was concerned. The clothing was nice, though it was odd to see kimonos right across from the cargo shorts.

On another note, even though I was mostly sure this was a store meant for civilians, I couldn't tell any difference in the durability between my own clothing and their own products. That was quite something considering that Naruto's clothing could stand being through multiple battles. Maybe clothing was just more durable here?

Even as most of me was busy with browsing through the racks of jackets (mostly in blues and blacks, because green did _not_ go with Naruto's hair), part of me was reflexively scanning the store every time someone entered. It was apparently something leftover from all the Clones I'd had in the trees looking for Mizuki on Friday, and it seemed like a good habit to keep, even if I did end up tensing whenever someone came through the door.

It was because of this that I noticed a girl with pale blonde hair walking into the store, made all the more visible by her purple clothing which, while not nearly as bright as my jacket, was still attention grabbing (which I suspected was the point).

Ino Yamanaka's gaze didn't go anywhere near me at all, as her eyes immediately went to the women's section and she dashed for what appeared to be the designer section. Behind her was a gaggle of girls that I vaguely recognized as background characters from class.

Ah shit, mentally referring to people as background characters probably wasn't a good sign. Still, I couldn't stop myself from hunching over and trying to make myself smaller. Still, I was a grown ass man! I wasn't going to run from this shop just because a group of children walked in!

I grabbed a jacket that I had been eying for a while, a baggy blue jacket with a deep hood and large pockets. I had one almost like it back home, and the only thing that held me back was the price tag. What, did child labor not exist in this world to help lower prices?

Keeping my gaze low, I continued to move around the shop, pushing out the giggling of the would-be kunoichi. I wasn't really annoyed by their behavior, after all they were little girls. I had engaged in similarly stereotypical and probably even more irritating behavior when I had been younger. Still, I didn't want them to notice me.

"Well, what do you all think?" The part of me that was tracking all the motion in the shop made me glance over as Ino re-entered the main portion of the shop from the changing room, dressed in a bright pink outfit that was absolutely _horrendous_ with her complexion and hair.

A sneer rose to my face, and of course it was at that moment that I was noticed. My eyes caught Ino's and I could see the moment that she realized I was sneering at her, as a combination of offense and confusion crossed her face, ironically painting a similar sneer on her face.

"Naruto?" The blonde girl asked. "What are _you_ doing here?"

While she didn't mention the clear distaste I'd been demonstrating, her tone clearly indicated that I was in the wrong somehow, and when her friends turned around, I could see them suddenly switch from 'Day of Fun' mode to 'Friend Defense' mode.

Fuck. How could I salvage this? Naruto wouldn't be in this store at all, and he certainly wouldn't have cared about Ino's fashion sense…

But wait. I...I wasn't beholden to Naruto's behavior anymore. What did it matter if those in the Academy were confused about my shift in attitude? Even if they reported to Iruka about it, he would know about what had transpired on Friday to warrant such a thing, and chalk it up to that.

A band of iron that had been constricting my breathing for the past two weeks was suddenly gone, and I had to actively fight a smile coming to my face. If I wanted I could just flip everyone off and yell obscenities about their families! I could scream about the dangers of naked snowboarding at the top of my lungs while dancing Gangnam Style and it wouldn't matter _jack shit_!

…Of course, actually doing that would be a pretty bad idea. The smart thing to do would simply be to ignore them, buy my clothing, and walk out without saying a word.

On the other hand…it really _was_ a terrible outfit. I could see why they might like it, and maybe combined with an appropriate jacket or hat it would work but as it was…

I made a snap decision, and strode over to the group of girls, my finger pointing accusingly at Ino Yamanaka. "The question isn't what _I'm_ doing here, Ino. The question is what on _earth_ do you think you're wearing?"

The sudden change in tone threw the entire group off guard, which I attributed to having used my Dad Voice(TM). I had the advantage, and I took it.

"I mean, I certainly respect what you decide to wear when you're out and about, but you're in competition for the hand of my rival, Sasuke Uchiha, right?"

Ino nodded, her expression pinched, and eyes clearly showing her confusion. "Uh, yeah. Why?"

I threw up my hands, which was made significantly more awkward because I was still carrying the jacket. "Because then you're going to need to dress to impress, and you can't do that in something like what you're wearing? Why? Because pink is _not_ your color. Granted, it's very few people's colors, but it is most certainly not yours. _That_ ," I shifted my finger to the hem of her outfit accusingly, "Doesn't even fit the season. Do you see anyone else in pink? No. You would be the only one."

The girl tilted her head upward, a measure of her normal strength creeping back. "And what if I want to be the only one?" She said haughtily.

"Because, and I cannot emphasize this enough, _you cannot pull off pink_." I said fiercely. "If everyone else was wearing it and you pulled out that outfit, maybe, _maybe_ you could look halfway decent, just because people had gotten desensitized to it, but if you wear that and look like you do now, you might just ruin the color for everyone else. And I will not have someone fighting to impress my rival be known as the girl who ruined pink."

To be honest, I wasn't completely sure what I was talking about in that later part. All I was sure of was that the girl would just embarrass herself if she wore that in front of people that weren't her friends.

"I didn't know that Naruto was annoying, but I didn't know he was an asshole." One of the girls muttered. A few nervous titters of laughter escaped the group, but they were halted as Ino's expression became thoughtful. Slowly, she reached down and grabbed a dress off of the rack, a very expensive piece done in red.

"How about this?" Her voice was cool as she held up the dress, holding it against her. I examined it with a critical eye. It wasn't as bad as the pink, but…

"Maybe with a hat, or perhaps a bow…" I mused aloud. "But there are none of those around."

A grin slithered onto Ino's face. "I think I know a place. It's close by, and I wanted to hit it later anyway. I'll try this on to see if it fits, then we'll go over."

Huh. I didn't know that Clones could have hearing problems. I cleaned out my ear as politely as I could and smiled. "Excuse me, what?"

"Oh, well since you're apparently such an _expert_ , you're going to be helping me and my friends with our shopping today! And since you don't want Sakura hearing that you're not a gentleman, you will of course have to carry our bags."

"You mean _your_ bags, right?" I asked, a hint of nervousness entering my voice. "Right?"

Ino Yamanaka gave me a cat as proud as the cat who had caught and viciously brutalized the canary. "Nope." She said, popping the 'p'. "I definitely meant ours. Right, girls?"

The little shop became filled with the girls' agreement, and my head dropped. Fuck. I hoped that the other Clones were having a better time.

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_Skinanddirtandsandandbarkandhairandwaterandwoodandclothandsteelandchitinandfur_

My fingers dug into my sides frantically as I sought out to eliminate the myriad of sensations rubbing underneath my skin, nails so biting part of me was surprised that I didn't pop.

 _Skinandclothconnectedmovingthroughtheair_ thewindbrushedagainst _somethinghardatthetopthatwasahandsothatwasamanhefeltlikeskinandhairand_

Prying my fingers away from their fierce duty, I slammed my hands together in my favorite hand-sign an d pumped what chakra I had left into the Shadow Clone Jutsu. Soon, a dozen other pairs of hands were scratching hesitantly at my body, though they avoided any awkward areas. I still wasn't that comfortable about touching the body I was inhabiting, after all.

I let out a sigh as the edge of the feelings under my skin were blunted, and my mind was actually freed up to consciously process what my wind-sense was telling me. It was magnitudes worse than what had happened the first time I had tried it, though that was probably because of both my position and the amount of chakra invested into it.

Far below my position on the Hokage Monument, the wind was split around what felt like a person moving in a smooth, rhythmic motion, pushing against the wind and then retreating. I felt the wind shifting and it brushed against what was in their hands, something cylindrical and with the unmistakable feeling of wood…this guy must be sweeping.

Even as I deciphered the actions of one man, dozens more people flared to life within my mind, hair and skin and cloth that were caught in the winds fingers as they went about their day.

Across the village, an old woman (at least I assumed it was a woman by the long hair and fluttering clothing), lifted something with an odd shape that felt vaguely like metal, but thinner and…ting-ier. Was ting-ier a word?

The wind shifted, and water poured from the strange metal thing, what I realized now had to be a watering pot.

Sudden memories slammed into me, from the fifth iteration of the J Clones, who were getting incrementally closer to learning the Kinetic Burst Jutsu, though it required many sacrifices from the J Clones.

Both myself and the Clones attending me paused as we digested the memories, and the crawling sensations ripped back through me, making me try to spasm out of my skin, hitting one Clone so hard he dispelled. The other Clones jumped and went back to scratching, and I regained my ability.

Huh. According to the Clone I'd accidently murdered, they didn't feel any of the sensations I did. Well, that made sense, if they were feeling the same they'd hardly be able to help me with my problem, but part of me had assumed that since we all shared the same chakra, we would all share the same feedback. Apparently only the Clone who initiated it would suffer the consequences.

Eh, maybe the Prime or Shy Clone (who was basically the Second at this point, I wondered if they realized that) would find interest in that. They'd probably scribble it down and figure out how to best utilize. It was what I'd do…if I wasn't so immobilized.

Yeah, I had definitely gotten the bum deal in this Clone work.

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I stared at the leaf as if trying to split it in half with my eyes rather than my chakra. By now, the sun was high in the sky, and I had yet to see any tear on the leaf at all. The most I had gotten was a slight fraying at the edge, but you could only see it if you squinted…and held it at a certain angle…from afar.

Luckily, it didn't look like any of the other Clones on leaf duty were doing any better, given the poorly concealed frustration on their faces.

None of us understood whether we were doing anything right or not. Asuma had told Naruto in canon to think of wind chakra as two forces grinding against one another to make an edge, and we were doing our best to replicate it, but the most we had gotten was a minor burst of force that just made the normally flat leaf…even flatter.

Well, I couldn't exactly complain. I had plenty of memories of increasingly hesitant J Clones getting pulped in their attempts to perfect the Kinetic Burst Jutsu and knew from one of the Wind-Sense Attendees that it was no picnic. I had to be thankful that my task was merely boring, rather than painful.

So…back to staring at the leaf.

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"You look awful." The Shy Clone (who had become increasingly less shy) said flatly to me in between summoning new Clones. It wasn't yet sunset, but it was close, and I knew the sky would be a dark orange by the time I got home if I started now.

"I feel like shit." I agreed, wiping a sheen of sweat from my brow. Once again, my chakra system felt like it was burning, though significantly less than it had just days ago from similar chakra expenditure. Maybe my coils were growing?

"Want me to send out the all clear?" The Shy Clone asked, rolling up his scroll, which was now liberally marked with notes.

I raised an eyebrow. "How so?" I asked. We didn't have phones or anything, after all. My vision was swimming slightly, and I was sure I was missing something obvious, which was quickly proven when the Shy Clone rolled his eyes, smiled, and disappeared a puff of smoke. I felt bizarrely lonely, even as his memories fell into their proper place in my brain.

Still, we had managed to get quite a bit done. We were nowhere near done with the Kinetic Burst Jutsu, though we had managed to actually get a good amount of force from it before the Clones died. There were a few ideas on how to fix that bouncing around it my mind but if nothing else it would make a good kamikaze attack. And the Shy Clone had managed to last all day with only a sliver of my chakra, though I would need the information from the more active Clones to see how well they had held up compared to the more stationary Shy Clone.

That was about my last thought before my head snapped back, and millions of thoughts screamed into my head, crushing every attempt of my brain to reboot and restore itself to functional condition.

Something pooled on my chin, and I wasn't sure whether it was the drool coming from my slaw jaw or the blood dribbling down out of my nose.

"Guuuuuuuuuhaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh," said my mouth, soft and toneless, not at all resembling the scream that it had started as. Something released, and my head hit the ground, eyes staring blankly up at the sky.

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_Drip_

_Drip_

_Drip_

"Again, I'm pretty sure that getting into the seal wasn't this easy for Naruto." I said into the dark, echoing pipes. "Still, I guess I can't complain." It did prevent me from consciously experiencing the brain damage that was certainly happening to my physical body.

Kurama's enormous red eyes were still as massive and inhuman as always, but now they now lacked the pants-shitting potency they had over me merely a week ago. Something about killing a man in cold blood really toughened you up.

" **Your words are as nonsensical as always."** The Tailed Beast said in greeting as I wadded into the room.

"Well, to be fair, I'm pretty sure that I just went insane." I admitted. "I'm not even sure how I'm coherent enough to talk to you here."

The giant fox growled, the sound as loud as a plane engine, and it took me a moment to realize that it was him humming in contemplation. **"If I were a human,"** He murmured (as much as a mountain sized fox can murmur) **"I would make sure that the seal did something to help the mind of its bearer, so that they did not go insane."**

I blinked in surprise. That…actually made sense. "You know, Kurama…" I said aloud. "I think that, if you were human, you would've made a good shinobi."

Perhaps that even explained Dark Naruto in canon. If the seal actually affected the psyche, perhaps it also helped seal away those darker emotions, so that they didn't threaten Naruto? Good thing I didn't need any help defending my mind. I could work through my own issues well enough on my own, thank you very much.

….Brrr, how could there be wind in here?

" **You know, if you are going to be coming here every time you pass out, you could at least tell me the name of my new jailor."** Kurama rumbled suddenly. His enormous eyes slowly blinked, the very image of nonchalance.

I was thrown for a moment, remembering the tale I had told Kurama, and my mind suddenly flashed back to the name I had thrown out to Sarutobi just a few nights ago when questioned. "Call me Arashi." I said finally, feeling uneasy.

Kurama gave me a languid, lazy look. **"Just Arashi?"** He asked, his tone vaguely mocking, probably due to the fact that I hadn't provided a family name. Ah right, Kurama was still a bit of a dick. Mocking someone for being an orphan seemed right up his alley.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, they called me Arashi the Just." I bit out. I was glad I didn't give him my _actual_ name, because then I might've gotten offended and yelled at the force of nature after he made of the (to him) bizarre name.

A sound like boulders colliding filled the sewer, which I managed to quickly figure out was Kurama's way of chuckling. **"Alright, Arashi the Just it is then."** His voice was now openly mocking.

Something occurred to me. "Wait, how did you know that I came here by passing out?" I asked curiously.

The Nine-Tails shrugged, which was kind of like watching an earthquake in motion given how broad his shoulders were. **"When my chakra leaks out of the seal, I can get a faint sense of what you are doing. I can't see or hear, of course, but I can tell what state your body is in, which is why I can tell how much damage you did to your brain."** He said, a tinge of bitterness coming into his voice.

Hm, wasn't that interesting? Since Kurama was _made_ of chakra, of course he could feel through his chakra. I wasn't worried too much by Kurama's synopsis either; if he thought I was in any danger of dying, he would probably tell me. He didn't seem like the type to lie to spare my feelings.

" **Say…human…"** Kurama said suddenly. Something in his deep, growling voice was off, even if the odd hesitancy in his voice hadn't tipped me off to something.

I sighed. "You ask for my name, and then call me human?" I muttered. "Fine, whatever. What is it?"

" **You claim to come from a future without chakra, yes?"**

Something in my neck tensed, and a flood of lies to use came to mind. If I needed to add anything to the tale I had weaved for the Tailed Beast, I was ready. "Yes, I do." I agreed, not doing anything to dispute the very pointed section of his question about my lies being fake.

"… **What is it like? Your future, that is?"** Kurama's massive body shifted, and his giant pupils were only vaguely centered on me, as if avoiding my gaze.

Was Kurama…nervous?

Huh. I supposed it made sense. When Kurama had been 'born', the only person who had chakra was his father. Was he perhaps wondering whether my future resembled his past?

Of all the lies I had prepared, I didn't have any that fit this situation, and if my theory about why he wanted to know was accurate, I didn't know enough about the distant past of the Naruto Universe to agree with or go against it.

"…Well, without chakra, people had to develop tools to take its place. I would go so far as to say that our technology actually surpassed what chakra could do in some respects." I said slowly.

Kurama snorted, and the great force of it nearly bowled me over. **"I have trouble believing that. After all, you've 'come back' in order to prevent the fall of chakra, correct?"**

I nodded, a touch too quickly, but I don't think the massive fox noticed. "Because, chakra is really powerful, and it can do some things that technology can't. Even we can't cause earthquakes on demand."

My mouth continued as I looked for more words, and my mind stalled. I was about to bring up going to the moon (a la Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality), but the Sage's brother had actually settled his family on the moon, so that was possible with chakra. A well-trained shinobi could probably launch a kunai fast enough to rival a bullet using chakra augmentation, though it wouldn't be as convenient…

A lightbulb went off above my head. "Well, we have these machines that can provide the sum total of all human knowledge at the tips of our fingers, and can contact anyone on earth who has a similar machine." I said proudly.

Kurama's ears twitched, betraying his interest. The fox had a lot of tells once you knew to look for them. **"I see."** He said neutrally. **"I imagine those must be quite useful."**

I nodded. "Yeah. In modern day you can barely do anything without one. You need it to get a job, turn in paperwork, schedule events…A lot of people think that they rot society because people are hardly ever without them, and there's so much to do online that they don't interact with anyone, but that's mostly bullshit."

The room rumbled as Kurama hummed to himself and shifted. **"I don't doubt that. Most humans will search for any excuse to berate or critique others."** He sneered.

I gave the Tailed Beast a flat look. "I really don't think that you can say stuff like that when most of your experience with people comes from eating them."

" **My preferred method was actually setting people on fire. Though I admit that eating humans is a particularly enjoyable pastime."**

My mouth twitched. "Why, Kurama, was that a joke?" It was a dark joke considering that he really had killed a lot of Leaf shinobi that way, but if he felt comfortable enough to joke around me, that was a good sign.

" **Of course not."** The Tailed Beast immediately growled. **"It was a threat, because that's what I'm going to do to you once I get out of here."**

"You're just determined to be impossible, aren't you?"

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"I have got to stop sleeping on the forest floor." I croaked, bringing up my arm to block out the sunlight. Laying prone on the ground, I awkwardly brought up my other arm and managed to form the Shadow Clone seal, and within seconds, a clone that was unaffected by my migraine went rushing off to my apartment to retrieve the pain medication one of my Errand Clones had bought yesterday.

Resolving myself just to wait, I rested my head on the ground and tried not to whine at the pain. Processing all of the memories from the fight with Mizuki had given me a headache, but the longest-lived Clone among them had only existed for an hour or two before poof-ing away. Comparatively, I had suddenly absorbed well over…let me do some quick math for a moment…five hundred hours' worth of memories in the space of a second (granted, a lot of that was from the Leaf Clones, who had mostly just sat around and got frustrated). That was tough even on Naruto when he was sixteen, and his twelve year old brain was even less developed.

Still, I couldn't slow down on my pace. Nearly screaming with the effort it took, I sat up and grasped blindly along the ground until I found a leaf. Sifting around the memories of the Leaf Clones, I began to grind my chakra on either side of the leaf.

_Skinanddirtandsandandbarkandhairandwaterandwoodandclothandsteelandchitinandfur…_

A nail of pain slammed itself in between my eyes as something within my chakra…shifted, and suddenly a burst of force thrusted my fingers apart, and the leaf shot up into the air before gently spiraling back down. I blinked in surprise. The default of chakra manifesting in an uncontrolled manner appeared to be the expulsion of kinetic force (which was why the Kinetic Burst Jutsu was so hard to use, because it was controlling what was by definition uncontrolled), but that hadn't been nearly as violent most of the little accidents I'd had.

In fact, it had been less like an explosion, and more like…a gust of wind.

Hells bells, this only brought more questions. Wind chakra was about _cutting_. Despite that, I hadn't been able to do that at all. Instead, I was able to _sense_ through wind, and _generate_ bursts of wind.

"Hey Boss!" My Clone's high-pitched voice screeched in the air, nearly knocking me out again.

"I swear to God, shut the hell-mph." My curse was cut off when a ball of cloth hit me in the face, and it fell into my lap. It was a full set of clothing that my Clone who had been dragged around by Ino had been able to purchase in his little free time, as well as a bottle of pills.

Disregarding the clothing, I twisted open the bottle and swallowed as many pills as I thought healthy. It would take awhile for them to kick in, but better late than never.

"Now, if you're done threatening me, you should probably get going." My Clone said impatiently. "Or are you planning on hiding the Scroll first?"

What? Hide the…

My head snapped around and I saw both the Fake Scroll of Sealing, and my record of the Kinetic Burst Jutsu laying on the ground for anyone to see. I had meant to hide them away in one of the many placed my Clones had discovered, but my sudden…let's call it 'information overload', had prevented that. I may have free license to act like myself, but that Fake Scroll was massively illegal.

"Go hide that somewhere in the forest!" I snapped at my Clone, struggling to my feet. "We didn't have any Clones around, so the old man could've spied on us and discovered us."

My Clone saluted smartly and took off into the forest, Scrolls tucked under his arm. I created a set of Clones to go practice the tree walking exercise (something that had slipped my mind the other day, to my chagrin), as well as another set to work on wind-sensing, and maybe try combining that with my newly discovered ability to generate small bursts of air.

I could feel the pain medications start to work as I shrugged off my normal outfit in favor of the darker clothing my Clone had chosen. Everything was blue of varying shades, both because it could pass both for shinobi and civilian gear, and because it was my favorite color. Long cargo pants to hold scrolls, a blue shirt, and a baggy jacket with a deep hood that could disguise my hair if necessary. Of course, it wouldn't hide Naruto's whisker marks, but my Clone had snagged a bandanna to wind around my face if it came to that.

An unfortunate side effect of my new outfit was that I couldn't bring myself to wear Naruto's green goggles, as they didn't match my clothing at all. I'd have to pick up some new ones, as they had occasionally proved useful.

As I pulled on my new clothes (looking up at the sky so as not to look at the exposed flesh), my mind wandered to what my Clone had been talking about earlier. It had seemed like he thought I was supposed to be doing something…

Mentally, I looked through all of the Clones memories throughout yesterday, mainly focusing on the ones that had interacted with people, something that took more than a few minutes. I had sent a Clone to maintain my newly formed tradition of meeting up with Ayame for a cup of tea, maybe that idiot promised to drop by earlier in the morning or something.

Hm, nothing of the sort had stuck out. I had acted cheery around the girl as normal, and we had just joked around and talked about how things were going at the Academy.

…Oh shit! The Academy!

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_Skinanddirtandsandandbarkandhairandwaterandwoodandclothandsteelandchitinandfur…_

Something rapidly blinked into my 'field of vision', so to speak, and I was briefly concerned with the speed that the person was showing as they ran throughout the streets of the Leaf Village with reckless abandon. However, my wind-sense was ever-so-slightly sharper than it had been the other day, and something about how this person's body occupied the air was familiar.

Ah, that made sense. No wonder the shape was so familiar, it was exactly the same as my own, only with an unfamiliar hood pulled over his head. I wondered what had gotten him so worked up.

Whatever. I had my job to do, and this was certainly better than being a Leaf Clone. Back to spying on everyone in the village.

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I slid into the room with, according to my watch, only a few seconds to spare. The room was full, and no one paid me any mind as I slid into a seat in the back. Even Sasuke, who was looking at the door out of the corner of his eye (probably waiting for his rival to challenge him with a new inane contest), or Ino, who was wearing a new red outfit with a bright ribbon in her hair that I had helped her pick out, seemed to recognize me.

That was fine by me. I sighed in relief and settled in for another boring day at the Academy.

The door slid open. "Good morning, Iruka." The class chorused half-heartedly.

"Oh no, that won't do at all." A bright voice chimed. An unfamiliar woman stepped into the room, and I struggled to keep my eyes focused on her face, even as my mind reeled. What on earth was she doing here? "I think you're going to have to say that with a little bit more vigor."

There was a brief silence, and the buxom (not that I had noticed!) woman smiled sweetly. "I believe I gave you an order." There was a blur of motion, and there was a shriek of pain from one of the students in the back row. My head whipped around, and I saw a kunai embedded in the wall, with one of the students clutching a bloody line that had been opened up on his cheek.

The woman pouted in a way that was both adorable and somehow threatening. "Oh, come on, even violence doesn't garner any respect around here? How disappointing. I guess I'll have to resort to something more…drastic."

A student's hand tentatively rose into the air. I was surprised to see it was Sakura, who herself looked surprised that her hand had moved at all. "Ah, ma'am," She said politely. "It would really help to know what your name is if we're going to greet you."

Dang. Go Sakura.

"Ah." The woman blinked. "You're right, that would probably help. Alright, gimmie a sec…" The woman began fumbling around in her pockets, which did interesting things to what little covering she had. Then, all of a sudden, a sharp smell filled the air, and the woman disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Introducing your fabulous new sensei for the next six months, the most talented and sensual kunoichi in the entire Leaf Village: Anko Mitirashi!"

The entire class gaped as the purple haired woman leapt out of the cloud of smoke and landed on the table, one hand on her hip and the other aloft in the air, striking a heroic pose. Sakura's hand was still frozen in the air, there was a blush on Choji's face, and Sasuke might as well have been carved from stone.

My head dropped onto the table, and I let out a quiet groan. How the hell had things ended up like this?

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**Yeeeeeeah! I did not expect this chapter to end up nearly as long as it did, given that it was mainly Arashi and his Clones dicking around all day. And yes, I'm going to be calling the SI 'Arashi', because reading 'SI' is really awkward for me. Also, I'm pretty sure I wasn't fooling anybody by withholding Anko's name.**

**I got recommended a list of common Naruto fanfic mistakes, which I appreciated. However, one thing I'm going to stick to is the idea that it's Kurama's chakra that gives Naruto his accelerated healing, rather than just his Uzumaki heritage, at least for this fic.**

**As for whether or not gunpowder exists in the Naruto Universe, I'm going to say that it does, though maybe not refined gunpowder. And whether or not Arashi decides to invest some time in finding some guns…well you'll just have to find out! (though thanks for bringing it up, seriously)**

**As for the stuff about Naruto Namikaze vs. Uzumaki, I didn't realize that stuff about marrying into a clan, that was super interesting. I guess with my more Western thought process about marriage, I just assumed that women would take on the man's name.**

**Ahem…Why is Anko a sensei now? What's up with Arashi's wind power? Will he take the Leaf Village by storm as its new fashionista? Stay tuned!**

**That's all for now! Thanks for reading and remember to FOLLOW, FAVORITE, and REVIEW!**


	9. Shenanigans

Bright Orange

Chapter 09: Shenanigans

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In the back of the classroom, I kept my head low but tried my best to not look like I was trying to avoid Anko's notice. Such a thing would surely draw her attention, and I needed time to think.

Such as, what the hell was Anko doing teaching our class? Where was Iruka? There was no indication anything like this happened in canon, so that must mean this change had come from my recent actions.

Something like a combination of a punch to the stomach and nausea hit me. Mizuki hadn't been Iruka's biggest fan, and while I had done my best to keep the man out of the way so he wouldn't interfere with my killing Mizuki, that didn't mean that Mizuki hadn't done a little something to his friend in all the chaos surrounding the theft…

My hands clenched as they lay on the surface the table, knuckles slowly turning white, and my breathing became harder. Had I unintentionally led to the death of an innocent man?

Slowly, my hand rose in the air. Anko's eyes immediately snapped to me, and I didn't see an ounce of recognition in them. Maybe she didn't recognize me, even after that whole 'stealing the Scroll' thing? Then again, my ability to recognize emotion in others wasn't exactly what one would call 'well developed'.

"Yesssssssss?" She asked, her voice lilting. Had my mood been any less somber I might've rolled my eyes at the snake-like way she'd managed to say the word.

"Did something happen to Iruka?" I asked bluntly. In front of me, a few people turned around and blinked in surprise as they heard my voice connected to my unfamiliar new style of dress, and a few murmurs began to ripple out through the classroom.

Anko chuckled throatily. "Aw, Iruka's cute little students care about him. How wholesome." She somehow managed to make the words sound mocking and sincere at the same time. "Though, I guess I can be nice just this one time. Iruka has decided to resign from his teaching duties effective immediately, and the Hokage personally brought me to whip you all into shape."

A wave of relief washed over me so intensely that I wasn't even annoyed at Anko for calling me 'cute'. I was a man, damnit! Not much of one, but I had earned that right!

Murmurs had turned into multiple conversations throughout the room, and I caught enough of the fragmented words to know that they were a 50/50 split between wondering why Iruka had decided to resign, and worrying about what the crazy woman meant by 'whip into shape'.

"…dear Kami I home whatever exercises we do involves lots of 'close combat', if you know what I mean." Once of the kids waggled his eyebrows, and his friends snickered, nodding along.

Never mind, there was also a third group dedicated to perving on the new teacher. Not that I could exactly blame them. Anko was probably one of the most attractive women in the entire village, and she didn't mind wearing a thin of mesh armor and a dangerously short mini-skirt, though granted she had a lot covered up with her trench coat. For these kids, just entering puberty, it was something right out of one of their pubescent daydreams.

However, what these kids _weren't_ paying attention to was the actual woman still standing on the desk, whose smile was becoming stiffer and more fixed with every second that she was ignored. Ah shit. Was there some way I could swap out a Clone and ditch this before things got too-

_-before things got too-_

_-before things got too-_

_-before things got too-_

I was suddenly very aware of every inch of my body as my heart began pounding much too rapidly, and my fingers trembled erratically. They weren't the only thing. Muscles I didn't even know I had were quivering like agitated guitar strings. My breath, shallow and fast, was barely audible over the roaring blood in my ears.

Something in my brain was screaming, though my own jaw was firmly clamped shut, and I opened myself in my entirety to that screaming portion of my mind. At least it was _doing_ something.

A strangled scream began to leak out from my mouth, and hearing it with my ears brought my attention back to the physical world. Danger. I was in danger. If I was in danger so was everyone else.

No one in the room was moving, at least at first glance. But it soon became clear that they were trembling just as I was, and I could see tears streaming down some kid's faces.

 _Kids._ These were _children_.

Tears began to gather in my own eyes as my vision narrowed to the purple-haired woman standing on the desk with her hands on her hips. Anko. She was doing this. Killing intent.

Hot anger filled my stomach and began to seep into my blood. My jaw was still clenched and my hands were still shaking, but I wasn't weighed down as I had been moments ago, and before I even made the conscious decision, my sword's handle was in my hand and the room was rushing by me.

There was a jarring impact in my elbow that made my sword go wide as the kunoichi casually deflected the sword with a kunai. I staggered off to the side, and before I could do anything there was a crushing pressure around my wrist, forcing my sword to clatter to the ground.

I became aware of something very warm and solid behind me, and also of the cold metal kunai pressed against my neck.

"Well, well, well. That was quite possibly one of the stupidest things that I've ever seen a student do, brat." Anko muttered into my ear. "Have anything to say for yourself?"

The motion of swallowing nervously only pressed my skin closer to the kunai, and my eyes flickered over to the class. Various students were staring at the scene with shock, and while about half were still shaking, but many among the Konoha Twelve seemed like they had been shaken out of their trance.

I licked my lips. "I do, actually." My voice was hoarse from the screaming. "And it's this: I am absolutely _tired_ of having my teachers threaten my life."

"Oh, is that so?" I had intended the remark to be vaguely threatening, harking back to the fact that I had killed a chunin, but Anko's voice was more amused than anything else. "Seems like you've got some fire in your blood. I bet it tastes…delicious."

Oh shit. The kunai pressed at my throat suddenly disappeared, and I felt a sharp pain at my cheek-

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New memories slotted into my mind, and I brought my hand up to rub my face as I processed the new information. Anko Mitarashi as the new Academy teacher? This could only end badly.

My hands formed the familiar seal and I sacrificed about half of my remaining reserves to send a new Clone running off to class. I wondered what excuse he would come up with. I certainly couldn't be bothered to come up with one for him.

I turned back to the Jutsu Clones and mustered up a grin. I knew, from the various failed Clones, that misusing the Kinetic Burst Jutsu was violently painful, even for the brief moments in between misfire and the Clone bursting, and as such each iteration of the Jutsu Clones were increasingly nervous as I put them through their paces.

I would probably pretty nervous in a similar situation, but that was the benefit of being flesh and blood. I could just get Clones to do it.

"Get to it, boys!"

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It had probably been a solid five minutes since my Clone at the Academy had burst. The fact that I managed to get all the way from the forest to the Academy was a testament to how fast Naruto was, though pushing it to that extent left me covered in a light sheen of sweat and gulping down great gasps of air.

Unfortunately, that didn't do much to help me with an excuse. Guess I'll just have to wing it, and hope that I didn't get popped.

"You're welcome, I have returned!" I shouted, pulling open the doors and striding into class. When in doubt, go with bravado.

Contrary to my expectation, there was no sound as people questioned what had happened. The entire class stared at me blankly, and it looked like Anko had paused right in the middle of some sort of lecture. Sweet Jesus, did they just dismiss my disappearance entirely?

That's when I noticed an oddly familiar face out of the crowd of students. He got up and walked over to me, pushing me out into the hallway and pointedly sliding the door shut.

"Are…are we not going to question that?" I heard someone question on the other side of the wall as we walked away, exiting into the Academy courtyard.

"What are you doing here?" The Clone hissed at me. He was a perfect mirror to me, and his words were exactly the same thing that I had been thinking of saying. But where did he come from?

"Wait…what the hell?" We spun around, and lo and behold, there was yet another Clone staring at us, sweating and jogging to a halt right beside us.

"…Any chance that one of you brought some of the pain killers?" I joked. "Because I'm getting a bit of a headache."

"No dice." One of the Clones replied. "So…where did you guys come from?"

"Prime made me." I replied. "Obviously. Well, not obviously, if you're asking. Where did you come from?"

The Clone that had come running up grinned at us. "One of the Clones working on wind chakra made me. Other Wind Clones were going to make someone to replace the Academy Clone, my progenitor just got to it first."

"Ah," The Clone that had beat me to the Academy snapped his fingers. "That clears things up. Wind Clones were the furthest from the Academy, so you got here last. I came from the Sense Clones, so I got here, like, four minutes ago."

I grunted and crossed my arms. "We need a better method of communicating between groups of Clones. I have no idea how we're going to explain this."

The Sense Clone shrugged. "Well, given that Iruka just left, we could get away with saying it's a prank brought on by grief."

"Seems like a shitty prank." The Wind Clone mumbled.

"People don't seem to think that Naruto's pranks in canon…. were that…. good…." I trailed off, staring at the two other Clones in horror. There wasn't anyone around that I could see, but that didn't mean that no one was around, and I had just referred to Naruto in the third person.

We all looked around, but nothing moved. I felt something odd in the air, and soon heard scrapping of nails on skin. Glancing over, I saw the Sense Clone scratching at his neck, eyes still alert and roaming. "Anything?" I ask.

"If I had sensed anything, I would've mentioned it." He snapped at me. Ah, that's right. Wind-sensing tended to make me grumpy. I could almost feel the phantom sensations scratching across my brain, and I shivered.

"Looks like we're good." The Sense Clone said. He gave me a look. "Still, you're right. We do technically have the ability to transfer our thoughts each other. If we could figure out how to do it without disappearing, we could avoid these situations."

The Wind Clone snorted. "Yeah, we'll just add that to the list of other things to learn. You know, on top of the Academy Three, how to actually use wind chakra, and…you know, the other stuff." He narrowly skirted saying 'the Scroll Jutsu'. Keeping secrets was a lot simpler when I didn't have to discuss them verbally with copies of myself.

"Hey, I'm just going to kill myself. This is really uncomfortable." The Sense Clone interrupted, both of his hands now devoted to scratching at his face. "Good luck with explaining everything to the class." He disappeared in a plume of smoke, and his memories slid into my brain.

Apparently, the Sense Clone had gone running to the Academy, only to run into Anko, who had apparently been warned about Naruto's tendency to run out. She had dragged him back to class and complimented him on his seal less Substitution, then threatened to castrate him if he did it again.

I turned to the Wind Clone. "So…. Which of us goes to class?" I asked him. I was already inching away, but the Wind Clone immediately sprinted away, becoming a blur of motion and disappearing into the city.

"Asshole!" I yelled after him. I was intending to do the exact same thing, but still. Looks like I had to be the one to attend class with a crazy snake woman.

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One of my biggest reasons I didn't like classes was that I found it hard to concentrate when someone was talking. People's voices tended to be so boring and could so easily turn into an emotionless drone that grated on my ears. It's why I preferred reading. I could read faster than someone could talk, and if I didn't like the book I could just power through it without having to mask my disinterest, because showing your boredom during a lecture was frowned upon for some reason.

Let me say this: whatever else you could say about Anko Mitarashi, she was not a boring teacher.

"Arrgh!" Kiba Inuzuka was a blur of motion as he charged, his feral grin having turned into a snarl after the third time Anko had slammed her knee into his stomach. He feinted to the left, then to the right, and then finally lead with a right hook towards her face.

Anko dodged so smoothly that it made me wonder if Kiba had telegraphed in a way I hadn't seen and slammed her knee into Kiba's stomach for the fourth time, sending him skidding across the yard. The kunoichi barely had time to exhale before another student attacked, this one unfamiliar to me.

I was in the very back, as far as humanely possible from the woman. This was both for protection and observation. After I had returned, Anko had told us that we were entering the 'trial by fire' phase of training. No one had seemed remarkably enthused by the situation, and she had clearly picked up on that.

Thus, the current situation. She hadn't told us _why_ exactly we were all fighting her, nor were we given any concrete goal. Just fight her. That was all well and good for my flesh and blood classmates, but I couldn't take a hit without once again provoking Anko's ire and possibly making the Prime into a eunuch.

Luckily, she didn't seem to be keen on causing intense physical damage, just on bruising people's egos…as well as their faces.

Even as I thought over possible plans, I kept an eye on Anko and made sure to be ready to move in case she dashed across the yard. It was several times larger than any of the sparring rings, and many of the students stood in bunches, watching the kunoichi and waiting their turn.

Maybe that's what Anko wanted to teach us? After all, no one had been able to give her much trouble one on one. Was this supposed to teach us teamwork? This was the Leaf Village after all, even if I had never associated Anko overmuch with being a team player.

My eyes scanned the crowd, looking for possible teammates for this little test. Mainly meat shields, as it was. I was essentially a Squishy Wizard now.

The students who weren't part of the Konoha Twelve weren't necessarily useless, but I didn't know their abilities well enough to defend on them. I could probably goad Hinata into fighting by my side, and her Taijutsu would make her a great help, but…I would essentially be manipulating her by wearing the face of the boy she loved. The thought made bile rise up in my throat. No, I would leave that option alone for now.

Something within screamed at me, and I jerked out of the way just in time to see something whiz by my face, narrowly missing the very tip of my noise. I heard several people yelp, but nothing indicating that they'd been seriously injured.

"I seem to remember saying that I was going to be fighting _all_ of you, not just those of you runts who wanted to step up." Anko's voice drifted across the yard, and just her tone made my mind edge closer to that state it had been in when she had flooded us with killer intent. The thought made me itch for action, but I didn't move until I had picked out my targets.

Sasuke was out, he was already attacking and without significant motivation I doubted he'd work with me, even if our friendship(?) was improving. Hinata was out, for obvious reasons. I could maybe rope Shino into helping me, but his presence was so off putting that it would alienate others. Sakura wasn't inclined to help me, and I doubted that I'd get Shikimaru's ass into gear before the Academy ended.

The dirt underneath my feet was kicked up in a small cloud as I darted across the yard, coming to a halt in front of the group in question.

"Ino, Choji, I need your help." I said without preamble. The three that would become the new Ino-Shika-Cho trio were all standing loosely around each other, though Ino had a few other friends that I vaguely recognized standing around. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Sasuke throwing a hail of kunai at the teacher.

Ino managed to peel her eyes away from Sasuke to give me a blank look. "What?" She said succinctly. Choji didn't even stop eating, though perhaps his chewing slowed slightly. Shikimaru…was asleep.

"I'm pretty sure that the point of this whole thing is to have people work as a team. No genin could take down a jonin by themselves, right?" I pointed out. Well, unless they were me and had a shit ton of surprise on their side, and technically Anko was only a special jonin, but that was irrelevant now.

"Sasuke seems to be doing alright." Ino pointed out. I turned and found the class prodigy going kunai-to-kunai with the purple-haired woman, their arms and legs a blur of motion. Sasuke's face was drawn, his lips thin, whereas Anko didn't even look winded, and a grin continued to grow on her face with each second.

"I give it five seconds." I said flatly.

One of Ino's friends glared at me. Well, all of them glared, but only the one spoke after she glared. "There's no way you could know that, Dead Last." Wow, and here I had been under the impression that twelve-year olds couldn't pull of a sneer. How wrong I was.

I sighed and put up five fingers. "Five….four….three…..two…." I pointed at the fighting duo, and despite themselves, the group around me leaned forward, as if expecting to see something happen.

Sasuke disengaged from the fight, and leapt back, letting loose another volley of shuriken, then closing the distance once more to engage in close combat.

I shrugged as everyone glared at me again. "Whatever. Sasuke's good, but he'll eventually-ah, look at that."

While I was talking, Anko finally got her hands on Sasuke, and not in the way that some of the fangirls would enjoy getting their hands on him. She threw him well over fifty feet, and he barely managed to control his fall well enough to not bash his face in. Damn, if only I had waited for a few more seconds…

"Fine." Ino said with determination. "As long as we help Sasuke. That means you're helping too, Choji."

"Yeah, I'm not doing that." I have no idea how Choji managed to both say those words and sound earnest at the same time, but he did. "I'm good here."

Ino grunted and rolled her eyes. She scanned the group, and a sudden devious grin slid across her face. "Don't worry, I've got a solution." She said. She darted off and my heart sank as I saw her target. Oh no. Oh _please_ no.

The blonde girl returned seconds later, straining as she pulled an already tomato-red Hinata behind her. "Alright, Naruto." She said, planting herself and the Hyuuga heiress at my side. "What's the plan?" She arched an eyebrow. "After all, you were the one who wanted a team."

Damnit. No, damn _her_. I couldn't back down now without looking foolish, and now I would be forced to fight with Hinata…

Wait a minute. Yes, it would make me look foolish, but that had never stopped me before. What did I care for the opinions of children? And hell, I technically had the ability to kill a chunin. I didn't need to _pass_ this test, just show that I could fight, even with my one-hit lifespan.

I didn't glare at Ino, even though I wanted to. Doing so might've implied I found Hinata's presence displeasing or annoying, and I didn't want to crush her little heart. I would have to eventually, but…not now. "Follow my lead." I said vaguely.

Then I turned to face Anko Mitarashi and formed a half dozen Clones. They popped into existence and rushed the woman, who dispatched the current student she was fighting and turned towards the tide of blue-clad Clones, who were in the process of unsheathing their swords with a cacophony of _shhhhinks_.

I half expected her to not move at all, mistaking the Shadow Clones for the garden variety, but she didn't hesitate to move and crush one of the Clones into nothingness. Of course, she must've heard about the details of my killing Mizuki. Or she was appropriately paranoid.

Still, I couldn't let my Clones do all the work. I ran forward, my hands flowing into the signs of the Substitution Jutsu. If I could switch with a Clone close enough to her, my lack of sword and different positioning might be enough to score me a hit…

I flared my chakra, and the Jutsu didn't take. I was so surprised that I barely managed to avoid running into one of my own Clones, who jumped to the side and right into a roundhouse kick delivered by Anko. She turned towards me, moving her head casually to dodge a flailing sword strike from another Clone.

"Not bad." She complimented, her feet still firmly planted. "Not good, either, but not bad. I never specified whether Jutsu were allowed, and you took advantage of tha-"

The woman's words were caught off guard as another student was suddenly at her side and she was forced to avoid a flurry of open palm blows, jumping back and once again having to deal with the efforts of my sword-wielding Clones. Hinata didn't look at me at all (though her face was still a brilliant scarlet), and rushed forward.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ino grin and send me a wink, then settle twist her hands into a familiar seal, aimed right at the teacher.

Damn. I was glad she came up with a plan, because I had been planning on my initial one to work. Doubly good that she already knew that Jutsu already. Whatever entity had sent me here had good timing.

"Mind-Body Switch Jutsu!" The blonde girl declared, tone alight with triumph. Her body stiffened for a moment, then fell backwards, landing on Shikimaru, who made his displeasure known with a long, tired groan.

My eyes moved back towards the fighting, and I had found that it stopped, but not for the reason that I thought. Anko had no trace of a smile on her face, and she held one of my Clones up by the lapel of his coat. Hinata was standing with her arms suspended, confusion and worry waring on her face.

"Release that Jutsu, little girl." Anko ordered, her tone somber. I saw two of my Clones exchange glances, and I knew they were wondering if they should take the opportunity to attack. I met their eyes and shook my head firmly.

"Damnit, I missed." The Clone suspended in the air pouted, and the way he shaped his words seemed distinctly feminine. Oh shit. Now _Ino_ was in Naruto's body too. The thought was so absurd that it nearly made me break down into giggles, but I managed to hold it together.

"Those Clones are solid, but they're fragile." Anko explained, her voice still firm. "And when you're inhabiting someone's body, whatever damage is done to it happens to your original body, right?"

Ino-Clone's brow furrowed. "Ah, yes? I think so?" Her tone made it clear she wasn't sure. "Look, I _just_ learned this."

Wow. Like I said. Great timing.

"And what," Anko said patiently. "Do you think would happen to your body if this little Clone went 'poof'?"

Oh shit, that was a good point. I gulped, and I heard some of Ino's friends actually gasp. Not exactly overdramatic given the circumstances. Ino-Clone rapidly turned an unhealthy shade of white, and then suddenly slumped.

Across the yard, Ino's _actual_ body stirred, and she sat up unsteadily. "Argh, that Jutsu gives me a headache. Though a better pillow might help…" She elbowed Shikimaru, who let out another long groan.

I sighed in relief, and turned back, ready to continue the fight, only to see that Anko hadn't taken up her stance again.

"I think that we've illustrated rather nicely what I've wanted to communicate." Anko said, face devoid of humor. "Back to the classroom. I've heard that you kids are much behind on your ability to diagnose the symptoms of various poisons."

To my lack of surprise, Sakura's hand went up. "Uhm, ma'am?" She asked. "What…was it we were supposed to learn?"

Anko shrugged her shoulders and dusted a nonexistent speck off of her jacket. "Fuck if I know. That's what you all are supposed to figure out."

I let out another sigh, though this one wasn't in relief. I hoped that the Prime was enjoying himself. Lucky bastard. The class slowly started to filter back into the Academy, and I moved to follow them only to not move. My inability to do so was probably because of the iron grip on one of my shoulders. I gulped and looked over my shoulder.

Anko smiled at me sweetly. "Hello, brat. While the others are settling in, I think we need to settle some things first. For instance, I do believe that there was a standing threat if you sent a Clone in your place to class, wasn't there?"

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It was the bluntest shuriken that I could find among Naruto's stash. Given that most of them were pretty dull, that was saying something. I couldn't cut anything with it even if I tried. "You ready?" I asked the Jutsu Clone.

"You're going to do it anyway, so what's the point of asking?" Came the snarky reply. Jutsu Clones tended to get into gallows humor, knowing they would be dead soon. Or, you know, not dead. Just…re-absorbed.

I nodded, and the Clone flexed his fingers dramatically, getting ready. Surrounding him were many copies of me, and thus copies of our dull shuriken. We waited, and I saw a bead of sweat make its way down the Jutsu Clone's face. I smirked.

"Fire!"

A hail of metal befell the Clone, and his fingers blurred together. There was a dull chime of metal as the grass beneath his feet was flattened, and there was a sharp pain along my hand as my own shuriken rebounded. A trickle of memories came into my mind of all of the surrounding Clones who had suffered as well.

A hiss made its way out of my mouth as I gazed at the blood oozing out of my hand. Luckily, the weapon hadn't nicked my clothing, otherwise I would've had to have gone shopping or learned how to sow. The wound didn't _look_ like it was healing any faster than it should've, even though I knew for a fact that it was. Curiously, I sent some chakra flowing to the injured hand, but the energy just looped around back into my coils. Ah, well.

I lifted the wound to my face and, with a grimace, licked up the small trickle of blood. The sticky flavor of copper flooded my mouth and I nearly gagged. Just because I didn't want to wipe my open wound on the ground or let the blood stain my hand didn't mean I _liked_ my third solution.

"Ah, shit. Sorry about that." The Jutsu Clone winced as he walked up to me, a manic grin on his face despite his conciliatory words. "But, hey…we got the Jutsu to work!"

I nodded, and another Clone emerged from the cover of the trees, our documentation scroll in his hands, our success already inked in. "Unfortunately, I don't know how useful it's going to be all that useful. It's good against projectiles, but like we just saw it doesn't just stop them, but propels them backwards. That's bad for Clones."

The Jutsu Clone rolled his eyes, a smile still on his face. "Lighten up, man. We learned a forbidden jutsu in the span of, what, two days?"

"Ballparking it, we actually went through around three thousands, four hundred and ninety Jutsu Clones." The Documentation Clone said offhandedly. "And we do have the advantage of both knowing exactly what _not_ do by surviving what would otherwise kill us as well as ridiculous amounts of chakra."

I shrugged. "Maybe Naruto is just naturally good at learning Jutsu. After all, we managed to pick up the Substitution Jutsu pretty quickly, given that we didn't have good instructions or access to the Shadow Clone Jutsu yet."

Both of my Clones shrugged in sync. "Maybe that was like muscles memory or something still in Naruto's body." The Jutsu Clone offered. "We know that chakra retains some semblance of memory, right?"

I grunted. "Maybe. So, we have two supplementary Jutsu, one offensive, and a defensive. Aside from Taijutsu and actual tactical training, we're actually ahead of schedule. I guess we'll just keep working on the Scroll Jutsu tomorrow, and keep at it until…graduation?" I mused aloud.

The Jutsu Clone's smile faded, and he kicked at the dirt. Rather than sending up a puff of dirt, he stubbed his toe, and I watched in amusement as his face twisted trying to keep his pain in. "All those Jutsu will probably kill us though." He complained. "And by us, I mean the Clones."

"We don't exactly have any other options." I pointed out. Well, there were, but I was curious whether he would think some were more viable than others. Clone's divergences in opinion were really rather odd.

"Well, I know we need to work on chakra control before we try the Rasengan, but we could always try Reverse Summoning." The Jutsu Clone pointed out. "We'll probably just get summoned to the Toads, and even if we're summoned somewhere else, we can just deal with it."

"And we'll send a Clone to do it, so even if we get summoned somewhere dangerous, you won't really be in danger." The Documenting Clone pointed out. Huh, they were teaming up.

"Point." I acknowledged. For a moment I actually thought they had a point, then I remembered. "But go ahead and remind me: do we remember the hand-signs for it?"

The two Clones' faces fell. "Point." They acknowledged in unison grudgingly.

Then, the Jutsu Clone lit up. "Oh! I got it!" He meshed his fingers together and frowned. "No, wait, that's not it…"

The Documentation Clone and I watched in bemusement as the Jutsu Clone muttered to himself and folded his fingers awkwardly into what I vaguely recognized as the Rat seal.

"There it is!" He suddenly shouted. "Now, watch this!"

Nothing happened, and the Jutsu Clone's smile became fixed.

"So, how's that working out for you?" I asked, not even trying to restrain the grin on my face.

"I…" The Clone got out, his fingers still fixed in the seal. "I…can't…move…."

Just _what_ my Clone had tried to do suddenly struck me, and I was caught between the urge to laugh and sigh. "You idiot, this is exactly why we don't experiment with Jutsu unless we have instructions." I berated. "Remember how afraid we were of messing up the Shadow Clone and fucking up our mind? And you decide to mess with _Yin Chakra?_ "

I shook my head, and was joined in scoffing by the Documentation Clone.

"Hey….it…sort of…worked." The Jutsu Clone got out. He seemed unable to move his jaw, even though I knew that in a successful Shadow Possession that wouldn't happen.

"Yeah, and what if it didn't?" The Documentation Clone berated. "What if you ripped out your own shadow and dissolved in the sunlight? What if that affected the Prime as well?"

"Over…exaggerating…" The Jutsu Clone shot back. Spittle trickled out of the corners of his mouth with the effort. I wrinkled my nose and made no move to wipe it up.

"Still, part of the idea was sound." I mused. "That is a pretty awesome Jutsu, and if we could get a Clone to use it stealthily, we could use it without getting busted. Think we could trick it out of Shikimaru somehow?"

The Documentation Clone shook his head. "I don't think so. He's lazy, but loyal enough." He reminded me.

I waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Still, I guess this means we'll just be learning Scroll Jutsu for the foreseeable future. Well," I amended, "You will. Once I find Lee I'll need to spend some time being caught up."

"Yeah. Speaking of which-"

The words of the Documentation Clone were cut off as a wave of memories swam into my mind. Both he and the Jutsu Clone disappeared in twin puffs of smoke, and I kicked the documentation scroll into the forest, just in time for our surprise visitor to land in the clearing.

I turned to him and mustered up a smile. "Hey, what's up Sensei?"

Iruka looked awful. His normally cheerful eyes were sunken from lack of sleep, and his posture was curved, defeated. "Hello, Naruto." He echoed, the barest hint of a smile touching his face. "It's good to see you. Though I don't think that you can really call me 'Sensei' anymore."

Shit. He was feeling emotions. I wasn't good at those. So, I gave him a determined smile and gave a cheerful thumbs-up. "You'll always be Sensei to me, Sensei!" I said enthusiastically.

Something twisted in Iruka's smile, and he walked closer to me. I fought to not take a step back, and my eyes darted up to the trees. One of my Clones gave me a thumb up, ready to Substitute at any time in case Iruka was having a psychotic break.

"Naruto…" He murmured. "Was I a good teacher?"

The question caught me off-guard, and my mouth ran ahead of me. "Well, your lectures were a little bland…"

As surprised as the question had made _me_ , apparently my answer surprised Iruka as well, and he let out a bark of laughter that seemed to give new life to his face. "Only you, Naruto." He smiled at me. "Only you can go through what you did…and still joke like that."

My smile, false as it was, became much harder to maintain at his knowing words. "Yeah, well…" I tried to joke, but nothing came to mind. "You've got to do something."

The mirth on Iruka's face faded. "You shouldn't have had to." He said, suddenly fierce. "If you're good enough, you don't _have_ to kill. Killing is easy. Disabling and capturing is hard. That's what we're supposed to teach you to do. What I failed to teach you to do."

Despite his words, I didn't feel like he was criticizing me, and I didn't say anything. Iruka continued.

"You shouldn't have even been in a situation like that for months! You still have _training_ , and then you were supposed to learn from a jonin for _months_ before you ever saw combat like that." His words began to run together, and his eyes took on a desperate sheen. "But maybe that was too much to expect. I should've _known_ that Mizuki had it out for you, that he couldn't me trusted. Dear Kami, I thought he was my friend, and he tried to kill our student! But…what I hate the most…"

He stepped closer, and suddenly there were arms around me. I stiffened, but while the grip was strong, it wasn't suffocating, or anything meant to cause harm. "I should've prepared you better…" Iruka got out. His breathing was oddly thick, and I suspected tears would be in his tears if I had a good look at his face. "I'm so sorry…"

My chest tightened, and I felt something hot in my eyes. "You…it's…fine, Sensei." I patted him on the back at an awkward angle.

The man pulled back, and while there were indeed hints of moisture in his eyes, they were nothing compared to the sheer determination blazing in his eyes. A chill went down my spine. "No." He said firmly. "I should've been there to protect you. But I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't perceptive enough." He swallowed. "Wasn't strong enough. But I'm going to fix that."

The man slowly stood up, and when he looked down at me, he chuckled and reached out to ruffle my hair. "What's with that look on your face?"

I became aware of the fact that my jaw had been slightly open, and my eyes had been wider than normal. For just a moment, Iruka hadn't been a teacher, or a friend, or someone to deceive. For a moment, standing in front of him…I had felt…. safe. Warm.

For the first time in my life, I wondered if perhaps there was something to the Will of Fire after all. "Nothing, Sensei." I got out. I managed a grin. "Just didn't want to ruin your dramatic moment."

The man let out another laugh, and he ruffled my hair again. It was a nice feeling. No one had ever done it to me before. "Now, you're going to behave for your new Sensei, right? They're probably not going to be as lenient as me, you hear?" He said half-jokingly.

I let a pout form on my face. "Sensei, she's too scary. I like my teachers non-threatening. Just come back."

Iruka smiled but shook his head firmly. "No. I've gotten too soft, too used to a life without danger in the village. To teach you guys to be ninja, I need to remember what it's like to be one. I need to get stronger, to protect my students until they can do so themselves. I can't teach at the Academy and do that at the same time."

I gave Iruka a sly smile. "You know, Sensei, if you keep talking like that, I might end up with some competition for the position of Hokage."

This time, instead of ruffling my hair, Iruka reached out and flicked my nose with his index finger. It hurt a disproportionate amount compared to how much force was behind it, and my hand immediately went to the abused section of my face. "Hey! That's abuse!"

Iruka shrugged. "Another benefit of not being your teacher, you can't report me for abuse." He grinned. "But since I don't want you telling the Hokage…how about I treat you to some ramen?"

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**Bam! Another chapter, another step closer to my ultimate goal. What is my ultimate goal, you ask? Good question. Tell me when you figure it out.**

**I like Iruka. He's an interesting character, but I need someone like Anko teaching at the Academy, and she's pretty fun to right as well. As for why she has to do so _in universe_ , well...that's going to be fun to write as well. **

**We're getting into the phase of the story that I've been anticipating ever since I conceived of this story: experimenting with Jutsu.**

**Phantom Prince out! Always remember to FOLLOW, FAVORITE and REVIEW**


	10. The Tenth Chapter

Bright Orange

Chapter 10: The Tenth Chapter

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Ah, dear lord, I'd forgotten how good Ichiraku Ramen was. Savory and rich, noodles that weren't too thin, and with actual chunks of meat in them, as opposed to little cubes that were ostensibly called ham. It was a far cry from the typical college ramen that I had been eating just a few weeks ago. Hell, it was a far cry from any professionally made ramen I'd had in my world.

I had inhaled most of the first bowl without speaking, and then remembered that there were people around me. Ayame was watching me with an amused smile, while Iruka was outright smirking. There was one other patron in the stall, a young man who had a disgusted look on his face. You'd think that no one had ever messily gorged themselves in front of him without any semblance of common decency. What, had he never had a girlfriend?

My face flushed slightly. "Ah…it's…really good." I defended myself. I wiped my mouth off with a napkin, trying to preserve some sense of dignity. Given Iruka's grin, I had failed.

"Of course, of course. Knowing you, it's been, what, a few days since you've last eaten here?" Iruka teased.

"Actually, Naruto hasn't eaten here for over a week." Ayame mentioned offhandedly, refilling Iruka's tea. "Though he has been stopping by to chat every day."

Iruka raised his eyebrows. "You know, I'm not sure whether I should be impressed that you're managing your ramen addiction, or disappointed that you're wasting Ayame's time while she's working."

"Hey!" I protested, pointing a chopstick threateningly at the man. "I actually help out around here!" And I did, primarily by preventing creepy dudes from hitting on Ayame. She handled it admirably, but it made my teeth itch to see it happen without helping.

Of course, I could explain that to Iruka easily, but that wasn't any fun. "You see, apparently pork prices have been rising, and the stand can't keep up, so Ayame asked me to 'help out'." I winked at the man. "You get it."

Iruka's chopsticks froze halfway to his mouth, and a noodle dropped into his ramen. "I get it?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course. I told you my apartment had a rat infestation, right? So, I decided to kill two birds with one stone…" I trailed off meaningfully and shrugged my shoulders. "And shockingly, there were _way_ more rats than I thought, so I've been offloading them here every day. I get a rat-free apartment, and the stand doesn't need to pay the higher prices."

Ayame nodded seriously. "To my surprise, people actually seem to like the rat meat. Can't even tell the difference between pork and rat." She gave Iruka a brilliant smile. "Speaking of which, how's your ramen, Iruka?"

Iruka slowly set down his chopsticks as he stared down at his pork ramen. He was looking a little green around the gills as he looked up at Ayame's calm smile and my deadpan expression…at least until I started chucking, and Ayame had to hide her laughter behind one of her hands.

Iruka looked positively _offended_ as he looked between us. "You…." He spluttered. My chuckles turned into full blown cackling, and Ayame stopped trying to disguise her laughter. Slowly, a smile began to tug on Iruka's face, and he let out a few chuckles of his own. "Alright, fine, you got me."

"Damn right we did." I said, more than a hint of pride in my voice. I had found early on in life that people would believe you, at least for a while, if you said something very deadpan. Useful skill for a bored college student, even better for a ninja. Of course, I hadn't counted on Ayame's support, and that had really sold it.

Iruka raised up his chopsticks again, a thick chunk of meat suspended between them. Before they got to his mouth, he paused and looked at us, a hint of unease in his eyes. "Just to reaffirm…. this _is_ pork, right?"

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of tea. "Sensei, I got the same ramen as you. Do you think I'd want to eat rat meat?" I asked rhetorically.

Iruka muttered something about sarcastic brats and took a bite of his meal. As he was chewing, Techui walked over from the cooking area, pulling off his gloves and setting them on the counter.

"Good to see you, Naruto! Good to see you, Iruka! How are you enjoying our new ramen? I call it the Rat Special!" The man grinned guilelessly at us.

There was silence for the space of a moment before Iruka began spitting out his ramen, and Techui began bellowing with laughter, pounding the table. Ayame turned away from us, but I could see her shoulders shaking with mirth.

I wasn't laughing as hard, but that was because I had the misfortune of taking a sip of tea as Techui had made his joke and had sent hot leaf water spewing out of my nostrils.

The only other patron looked down at his ramen, tucked a handful of ramen under the bowl, and then fled the stand.

That just made everyone laugh harder.

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My spirits were high as I returned back to Naruto's apartment. The sun wasn't even close to setting yet, but it had made good on its descent and was staining the clouds with orange and red rays that I found oddly soothing. I probably could've stared up at the clouds the whole walk back…if it wasn't for the sudden swell of memories that slammed into me.

Taking in memories from Clones who had been working on chakra abilities was decidedly odd. There was the ever-present disorientation of gaining parallel memories, of course, but sometimes I could almost _feel_ my chakra shifting, as if it were also adapting to new memories. It was so slight that I wasn't sure whether I was imagining it or not, but I ultimately dismissed it as unimportant.

Of considerably more importance was the sudden pressure blooming at my temples. My feet speed up, and within ten minutes I was back at the apartment. I immediately went for the tap and filled up a cup of water, gulping it down with a handful of painkillers. I stumbled over to the table and sat down, resting my head on the counter.

"Oh, hey, Prime. It's good to see you too. I've just been working here all day, but no, go ahead and set your cup on my scrolls. I'm fine, thanks for asking." The familiar voice came from a Clone sitting across from me. I glanced up and found his arms crossed as he sat back in his chair and glared at me.

I groaned and sat up, moving my cup off of a roll of paper. God, I could be quite the little shit. "Shut up." I grunted. Then something occurred to me, and I frowned. "Wait a minute, what are you doing here? I didn't send any Clones back here."

The Clone shrugged. "Apparently different groups sent different Clones to deal with the Academy situation. One popped, one went to class, and I was the remaining one, so I came here to do some work."

I raised an eyebrow. "By 'being the remaining one' I assume you mean that you ran away the fastest?"

The Clone nodded, a smile cracking his face. "But it's actually a good thing that I came back. Without having to worry about training, I was able to work on a different problem: our finances."

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't expected that. "Finances?" I echoed. "Care to share?"

The Clone nodded and went to grab something on the table, only for him to grunt and still. I didn't blame him; I was going through the same thing, and it made my headache exponentially worse.

Slowly, the Clone let out a breath. "Well, that's certainly not as bad as it was last night, but it's still pretty painful." He muttered to himself. He gave a wistful look at the bottle of painkillers in my hand. "I don't suppose…?"

Despite my sympathy, I shook my head. "No. You'll be gone before the end of the day, no use wasting drugs on you."

The Clone let out a grunt, and for a moment his eyes flickered shut. "Fine. Guess we'll see whether we end up passing out anyway, though."

I nodded, not needing to say anything. We didn't need a repeat of the immensely painful kickback of absorbing so many memories at once. As such, Clones were dispelling in groups of thirty every ten minutes or so. Given that they'd been around for most of the day, that meant that I was absorbing about a months' worth of memories every ten minutes. I had absorbed about half of the Wind Clones earlier, and about a quarter of the Tree Walking Clones just now. That meant I had about six months more to absorb.

Hopefully those damn painkillers would kick in soon.

"Anyway, you were saying something about finances?" I prompted. The Clone perked up and grabbed a stack of crinkled papers, pushing them across the table at me.

"As I was cleaning up, I found these around." He pointed to the numerous numbers littering the paper. "Bank notices." He said excitedly.

"Yeah, I can see that." I muttered distractedly, drinking in the paper. While the kanji were kind of complex for me, the numbers were clear as possible, and they did not paint a good picture. "So, what'd you figure out?" It stood to reason that anything I could figure out from the documents, he had already figured out hours ago.

The Clone's chest swelled, and I felt a shot of amusement at my own dramatic nature. "Well, it tells us a few things. First off: we do indeed have banks, and we do get a stipend from the Hokage." He pointed at several repeating lines on the documents.

"I went out, and it appears there's only one bank in the Leaf Village: Leaf Bank." I made a face at that, and he rolled his eyes. "I asked around under the Transformation Jutsu, and essentially the First Hokage gave them a monopoly to settle here. No other banks, and thus no drive to come up with a better name. Happy?"

I held up my hands in a placating manner. "Sure, sure. Go on, what's the second thing it tells us?"

"Right, right. Anyway, the rent for our apartment is automatically deducted from the stipend, so moving anywhere else is going to be a pain in the ass. But also, while the stipend is decent, it probably won't cover our needs in the future."

"So?" I shrugged. "There'll be plenty of D-Ranks in the future, and it's not like we need a lot of money to keep up our standard of living anyway."

The Clone let out a breath and sank in his chair. "Right…look, I've been thinking." He muttered, flicking his eyes up at me. "I mean, we've been living off ramen basically. And…not bathing. That can't be good for us."

I waved a hand. "It probably won't do anything too bad." I said, meeting his eyes seriously. I didn't want to say 'well, it worked out for Naruto in canon'. Never too early to exercise caution. You never knew when an ANBU might be around. Discussing things vaguely would be fine, but no direct references to the fact that we weren't really Naruto Uzumaki.

The Clone nodded, to show he understood. "But we know better." He insisted. "Dude, we're basically…" He waved a hand in the air, frustrated. "It's our know what I mean… _Bro._ " He emphasized the final word.

Something stabbed into me, and it wasn't memories from a Clone. Something hot and wet prickled in my eyes, and I wiped it away, setting my mouth in determination.

" _Big brother!"_

"Damnit…" I muttered. He was right. My baby brother had gone through a phase where he did nothing but ate ramen. And I don't mean cooked ramen either; he would just eat uncooked blocks. And that on top of not bathing for months at a time. When he had gone in for a doctor's appointment, he had immediately been told he needed to eat a more varied diet, otherwise his bones might be too brittle, his muscle development stunted, and various other things. And not bathing put him at risk to gain a host of other parasites and diseases.

And I had been one of the people to help him with that. Reminding him every day. Coming up with plans to get him to eat properly. For his health. Because he was my baby brother, and he was…my responsibility.

More tears were coming to my eyes, but I shoved down my emotions ruthlessly, gritting my teeth and wiping them away.

"Fine, you made your point," I muttered. "This…my health…is my responsibility." I had essentially replaced Naruto. I had to take care of his body. Just doing the bare minimum was the easy path out, but what about this situation was easy?

And to do that, I needed to eat right. "So, how are our finances?"

The Clone smoothly moved past my crying and pointed at the papers. "Not enough for proper nutrition and growth, especially considering that we'll be making up for lost time." He said grimly. "Adding on to that, we've used up most of Naruto's cash over the past few weeks with our clothes and our sword." Then he grinned at me. "And I have a feeling we'd like to get a few more sharp and pointy things on top of everything else, so there's that to consider."

I nodded. "And we're probably going to need a lot of paper once we actually figure out how to do Sealing." I mused. "If we manage to figure out a way to learn it, that is."

The Clone nodded. "Right, so, even with the stipend, we're going to need some way to earn money." He gestured expansively to the scrolls sitting around him. As I actually paid attention to them, I noticed that they had actual written kanji on them, as opposed to being in English like most of my personal notes were. Quite a few of them still had wet ink.

With a sudden burst of mischievousness, I let chakra flow to my fingers and _twisted_ it into wind chakra. The resulting breeze was just mild enough to brush the Clone's hair and did quite a bit on hastening the ink's drying. I still couldn't control the breeze, of course, but the Clones had gotten pretty good at how strong it was and where it would go.

The Clone frowned at me. "I was perfectly fine letting those dry on their own, there was no need for _witchcraft_." He said icily.

I snorted and tried to restrain the smile that was threatening to break out on my face. "As you were saying, some way to make money?" I prompted.

The Clone lit up again. "Right! Like I was saying, we need a way to make quick money. We don't really know how advanced tech works, so we can't recreate it, but there is one thing we know better than anyone else…" He paused for dramatic effect.

"Pop culture." I said blandly. The Clone nodded with a grin, which started to deflate when he saw that I wasn't smiling.

I had thought this over before. In fact, I had had several thoughts about it when reading stories like Yami: The Gamer Kage, in which porting in modern stories had played a significant role. Unfortunately, I didn't have the memorization of DC movies that Yami did, nor of Marvel Cinematic Universe or anything similar. But then again, I wasn't much of a movie guy. I was a bookworm.

But what books to import? My first instinct was the Kingkiller Chronicles, as they were some of my favorite books, but they were so long that I didn't remember a lot of the finer details, and the finer details really makes the Kingkiller Chronicles what it was. Plus, the third book hadn't been released by the time this whole 'body possession' thing started, so even if I managed to perfectly copy the first two books, I would be stuck on the third book.

Harry Potter maybe? But the appeal of that was a secret society hiding behind the modern one. I would need to adapt it to the Elemental Nations, and I didn't know nearly enough for an accurate portrayal of that. Plus, I would need to account for the presence of ninjas, or just pretend that they didn't exist, and that magic was just an alternate expression of chakra. So that was a maybe, even though it had been years since I had read any of the Harry Potter books. Plus, my world had a history in which 'supernatural powers' were more commonly viewed as myth than anything else, whereas in the Naruto Universe your next door neighbor could leap tall buildings and topple mountains. Keeping the wizarding world secret might not make sense to them.

Percy Jackson? No, definitely not. This world didn't have the Greek Myths that the whole story was based off of. Such a thing also ruled out Robert Langdon books due to their religious and historical backgrounds. My knowledge of Game of Thrones was spotty, and I hadn't yet finished the Dresden Files, or the Codex Alera.

Rick and Morty? No, comedy in TV didn't translate well into pure words…or at least not in a way I could accurately write. I might have more success on comedies like Brooklyn Nine-Nine or The Good Place, but again, I hadn't really memorized those ones.

Hamilton was good, but no one would understand who any of the key figures were. Plus, it would just read like poetry if I wrote it down rather than singing it. I could try to actually _do_ the musical, using Transformed Clones, but any musical would probably fail, given my lack of musical training. I could sing, but I hadn't tested out Naruto's vocal chords for such a thing, and even if I could sing decently, there was still all of the rapping and instruments to consider.

I severely doubted my ability to translate video game plotlines into books, other than perhaps Assassin's Creed, but that was only thanks to the fanfiction novelizations, and even then, quite a bit of the appeal came from interweaving history with the story. This world didn't _have_ that history. No Crusades, no Renaissance, no American Revolution... Maybe if I studied up on history, I could make a new story based on Naruto, but…well, that would basically be fanfiction, and there would be no one there to appreciate it properly compared to the original.

My eyes narrowed. "Wait a moment…" Fanfiction….

The Clone smirked, and he handed me one of the scrolls, the one with the most dried ink on it. "You know, I could've just _told_ you the answer that I came to."

"Well, where's the fun in that?" I asked rhetorically, taking the scroll and turning it to read.

_To understand this story, I'm going to need you to do something. I'm going to need you to believe in the impossible. You got it? Alright, then, here we go._

_My name is Barry Allen. When I was a child, my mother was killed by the impossible….Now, I_ am _the impossible. I am the Fastest Man Alive._

I skimmed over the rest of what my Clone had written. It wasn't word for word what the narration said in the opening episodes of The Flash, but it was close enough. After that, it started going into Barry's background, and laying the framework for the Particle Accelerator Explosion. Or rather…

I raised an eyebrow. "The Demonic Chakra Genesis?" I asked, squinting at the kanji.

The Clone nodded. "Weirdly disparate technology, remember? People probably don't have any idea what dark matter or subatomic particles are. However, we do know that people experiment with demonic chakra, and we know that it can give people different abilities."

Huh. That was actually a good idea. "And the idea that people who use abilities that originate from demonic chakra can be heroes would be beneficial for jinchuriki if that idea takes root in society."

"We're going to have our work cut out for us." I said, still idly reading what the Clone had written. "No one knows about DC Comics here, so we won't have brand recognition working for us. We'll probably need to change to names to something more Japanese, too."

The Clone shrugged. "Well, we've got manpower to spare. The most popular book series here is literally erotica, so this should sell fairly well."

"A character called 'The Flash' probably won't go over well in the Hidden Stone Village." I mused aloud. "Especially if we stick with the comic version of Barry Allen being blonde."

The Clone grinned, and pushed another scroll towards me. "Don't worry. We have another that will probably be popular there." Setting aside the Flash, I picked up the new Scroll curiously.

_My name is Kara Zor-El, and I come from a far-off planet, Krypton. Of course, you all know that. After all, you've probably already heard this story before, from my cousin. That's right, I am the cousin of Kal-El, the famous hero Superman._

_However, this isn't a story about him._

_This is a story about me, and how I became one of the world's greatest heroes. This is the story of Supergirl._

"A bit of My Hero Academia in the intro, huh?" I asked rhetorically, scanning the kanji. It seemed to take into consideration that one knew about the Superman mythos, but other than that it seemed fairly good. Kara still became Kara Danvers, and it looked to be the same set-up as the Supergirl Pilot.

But wait…. "Don't worry about the plane." The Clone interrupted. "Instead, she'll come out as Supergirl by stopping a building from collapsing during an earthquake. We'll have to include some dialogue about how it's kind of like a Titanic-esque building. You know, too big to fail, all that jazz. The 'catching plane' bit was just a nod to the original Superman anyway, which we don't need."

"Are you sure that we shouldn't start with Superman first, and then go on to Supergirl?" I asked, glancing up at him. "Otherwise people might be confused."

Clicking his tongue tentatively, the Clone shook his head. "People will be able to infer enough from the first few chapters. Superman's earlier arrival to Earth, the American government being afraid and forming the DEO, and all that jazz. It might actually help to have him built up as a mysterious figure, so that way when he's introduced it's a big deal. Of course, we'll have to do some explanation about what Kryptonite is and what it does."

My face quirked up into a grin. "Plus, we do tend to like superhero stories that take efforts to actually detail the hero's powers. We could include a few chapters of Kara doing that with Winn, which would make sense given that she hadn't used them for so long, and that will let people know what their shared powers are."

The Clone nodded with excitement, the smile on his face matching my own in size. "And, of course, after a couple books covering seasons one and two of The Flash, and some covering an expanded season one of Supergirl, we get to the good part."

A couple chuckles rose up near the surface, but I kept a straight face. "I trust that you've already got the rough draft drawn up?"

The Clone wordlessly pushed over another scroll, and I laid it out on top of the other two. These words were as familiar to me as anything else, translated into kanji of course.

_Day One_

_Barry Allen took a deep breath as he arrived at the designated 'starting line'…_

I couldn't hold back the chuckles any longer, and I began to shake with laughter. "I can't believe it." I got out. "We're going to make Flip a Coin canon."

The Clone joined me in chuckling, and we had a good few moments of laughing before more memories slammed into us, abruptly cutting off any laughter and exchanging it for muttered cursing.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

An hour or so passed, and the Writing Clone was hard at work at the table, reviewing what he had written and filling our few remaining scrolls with kanji. We would need to get better at kanji before we searched for a publisher though; as it was they were embarrassingly bad. We would also need to get more scrolls for him to practice on, as any Cloned scrolls would eventually disappear.

All of the Clones had popped, sending their information into my head, but luckily my medication had kicked in, turning it from a burning pain into a dull ache. I was sorting through the memories when I had found out something that needed thought.

When I dispersed the first group of Clones, their full memories were sent not only to me, but to every other Clone as well. So when the second group of Clones had popped, not only did I get the memories of what they had been doing all day, but I essentially got a double dose of the memories that I had just absorbed.

The effect of this was that, while my chakra control hadn't gotten better from so many repeated memory absorptions of the same activities, the memories from the first group were _much_ clearer than anything else I had learned from the Clones.

That kind of worried me. My knowledge of the human brain was extremely limited, and I wasn't sure whether receiving a coupe dozen sets of memories would take up more space. There had to be a limit to how many memories a human could have, right?

Well, it probably wasn't something I would need to worry about for a while. After all, if I slacked off the world would be ending in just a few short years, so the Shadow Clones were a necessary shortcut. After that… Would I take up the mantel of Hokage? Or just retire to the countryside and complain about young people?

Heh. That might be fun. Just be a cranky old man that people passing by would role their eyes at, and then my neighbors would say 'Don't you know? That guy killed Madara Uchiha. He's got a crazy demon in his gut'.

I half expected Kurama to vocalize some sort of objection to being called a crazy demon, but no such thing happened. Maybe Kurama being able to talk to Naruto in his head was just a fanfiction convention?

Thank god for small mercies. If Kurama could peer into my head, he would've seen through my lies pretty easy. Still, the thought of the demon fox bugged me for some reason I couldn't place, and it wasn't the bitter fear that I had felt the first time I'd seen him.

….Oh right. I was busy thinking all about my own future, and had failed to consider what to do with Kurama. In canon he had just stayed sealed in Naruto, right? But they had been partners, not just warden and prisoner.

I wasn't…sure that I could do that. I was far from adverse to taking advantage of people who had done horrible things, but Kurama had been mind-controlled into it. And I couldn't exactly take issue with his occasional massacres throughout history, given that the were supposed to happen at 'centers of great evil', something that Kurama could actually sense.

So, I wasn't super comfortable about keeping him contained in me forever. Being locked up forever, unable to feel the wind on my face, not able to read a new book or listen to music… It was far from torture, but it didn't sound pleasant either.

My mental dilemma was put to an end as the door creaked open, and my arm jolted to my side to grab a kunai, only for a doppelganger of Naruto to shuffle in the door, shoulders hunched and gaze fixed at something on the far wall.

"What the hell?" I muttered, not letting my guard drop. This could still be some sort of weird trick. I couldn't exactly sense whether or not he was a real Clone without attacking him. "Who are you?"

The Naruto Clone(?) slowly shifted his gaze to focus on my nose. "Hey." He grunted, not answering my question. Then he blinked, and his shoulders pulled back slightly. "Oh, uh, Academy."

I slapped my face (with the hand that wasn't holding a kunai, obviously), and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Damn it." I sighed. "I can't believe I forgot about you. Why didn't you just disappear rather than walking all the way here, especially with how tired you look?"

"Oh." Apparently, the Academy Clone hadn't thought about that. A look of brief concentration appeared on his face as he mentally reached for that switch at the back of his head, and then he disappeared.

I abruptly got a refresher on everything that all my other Clones had done that day as the Academy Clone's received memories transferred back to me, and then all of his memories of the day returned. I instinctively swallowed, and I could feel the blood drain from my face. Anko had dragged my Clone into a classroom and had drawn detailed explanation of how she would dissect me if I sent a Clone in my place again.

"I gladly would've gone the rest of my life without seeing what a penis looked like sliced open…" Even muttering it to myself I could feel my knees weaken and my gorge rise. It had been graphic to the extreme, and the Academy Clone had sat through it for _several hours_.

"Oh my fucking god." I heard the Writing Clone say in the other room. My guts clenched painfully as I realized that I would be receiving a refresher on Anko's lessons once he disappeared.

"I know," I agreed passively. I looked down at the ramen I had been eating and pushed it back. I had lost my appetite.

Looks like I would be going to the Academy. Well, I guess I would just need to make as many Clones as possible, or just make a few with large amounts of chakra. Plus, if Anko was going to do more of those sparring sessions, it would be useful to take a hit.

Wait a minute…

A particular detail came back to me from that sparing session, and I formed the hand signs to the Substitution Jutsu, focusing on the ramen cup on the table. It was such a short range that I was almost guaranteed to succeed.

My chakra rushed to complete my orders…and then fizzled out. I stared at my hands with disbelief. "The hell?"

Almost dreading the results, I formed the singular seal to do the Transformation Jutsu, let my chakra flow into it…and felt the Jutsu form around me.

"Who the hell….Prime? Dude, why do you look like that?" My Writing Clone had walked into the room, and there was an odd look on his face.

Huh? Oh god… I dashed to the bathroom, and in the mirror was a woman with long blonde hair. Her eyes were a tad too far apart, and skin had a slightly greenish tinge to it. I released the Jutsu, and after the puff of smoke had passed, I was once again Naruto.

"So…wanna explain what that was?" The Writing Clone asked curiously. "From your reaction I'm guessing you didn't intend to look like that."

"No, I didn't," I confirmed, gears turning as I received the past couple days in my head. "I thought we had that and the Substitution Jutsu down pat after the incident…"

The Writing Clone's brow furrowed. "Maybe it was adrenaline?" He suggested. "In the heat of the moment we could do it, but now we've lost the hang of it without an imminent threat?"

"Maybe…" That explanation actually held some potential. I was always able to perform better in action than in practice. But Jutsu like the Transformation would have more applications out of battle than they did in battle, so I needed to be able to do them then. And, of course, the Substitution Jutsu was basically teleportation, so I needed to be able to do that outside of battle too.

Sighing, I walked out of the bathroom and slung on my jacket. It was still light out, and I wasn't going to be able to eat after those memories with Anko.

"More training?" The Writing Clone asked, a sympathetic look on his face. Of course, he would be sympathetic though. He was me after all.

I nodded, and walked towards the door, grabbing my sword along the way. "Training." I agreed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Days quickly began to blur together. As it turned out, Anko Mitarashi's first day as teacher was not an outlier, but the norm. I had mulled over going to some of the higher ups about her use of killer intent against civilians but figured that someone else would probably do it.

And apparently, some kids did. The only reason I knew this was because they failed to show up the next day. By the end of the week, almost seven students had dropped out of the class. This was…decidedly weird. Wasn't the point of the Academy to maximize the amount of possible genin? After all, if only 1/3 of graduates became genin, didn't it make sense to not weed people out beforehand?

Then again, I wasn't sure what happened to those graduates who didn't become genin. Maybe this was just speeding up the inevitable. The fact that I didn't see anyone over the age of twelve taking classes at the Academy made me doubt that you could just take the genin graduation over and over until you succeeded.

Of course, no one important to the canon plot washed out.

Another penalty of Anko's presence was that I couldn't pick up with my money-making contests with Sasuke. She had a tendency to arrive erratically, from five minutes early to thirty minutes late, and I _really_ didn't want to gain too much of her attention. I wasn't sure if she knew about my healing factor, but if she didn't and found out about it after I pissed her off, she might actually carry out her threats.

Not that I gave her much to be mad about. Her lessons, while often punctuated with pointed threats and crazy behavior, were exactly what I needed. The subject that she easily had the most expertise with was poisons and psychological manipulation, both things that she would need for her job (which she would often describe with loving and graphic detail).

Tiny gods, it was everything that I wanted. As she described the symptoms of aconite, the chalk in her hands idly sketched the wide, drooping leaves with expert detail. Her body language shifted as she described how to hold one's shoulders to convey power. To convey sadness. Unhinged anger. All things that could be used to great effect in the hands of someone clever enough.

And, not to toot my own horn, but I liked to think I was quite clever.

Lectures were punctuated with 'spars' not unlike the one that took place on the first day, but we hadn't fought Anko head on since then. Often times Anko would randomly point at anywhere between one and seven people, assigning them to be the targets. From then on, we would fight them to the point of exhaustion. Those who would become the Konoha 12 were often the only ones who lasted beyond a few minutes, but even if someone unimportant was eliminated, Anko would just start the exercise over.

I went home every day with sore muscles and a pounding head, but the edges of a grin on my face. The next day, my Clones would scour the forests for various poisons, and others would Transform themselves into nondescript people to put the psychological lessons to the test.

It was all useful information. However, it only added onto my already stressful load, and compounded the various memory return effects I had been experiencing. I had managed to put this to good use. I would dispel the Clones that worked on memorization of the Leaf Village first, so that the compounding memory effect would reinforce it. Once I got my hands on a Bingo Book, I would do the same with that.

On the upside, my chakra training was coming well. Sort of. Tree walking was basically effortless at this point, which made sense considering that I now technically had months of experience at it. Water walking was coming along well, and after that…I would take the next step by purchasing some water balloons. Hehehehehehe.

On the other hand, my learning had slowed down with actual Jutsu. The next two Jutsu after the Kinetic Burst weren't as immediately as useful as deflecting long distance weapons, but they could be devastating if used properly.

One Jutsu, which went unnamed in the Scroll, converted the saliva in a user's mouth into a highly acidic derivative. Unfortunately, it would take in-depth knowledge of chemistry to make it so that it didn't burn your mouth.

The next step was to enhance the muscles in the mouth so that you could spray the acid all over an opponent. Maybe it wasn't as powerful as the Fireball Jutsu, but the advantage of the Acid Spit (as I'd decided to call it), was that it only required one hand-seal, and was unexpected. Plus, on demand acid.

The other Jutsu was called Solar Flare. With such a badass name I'd expected it to be like Hyperbeam or something, but that wasn't it at all. The user concentrated their chakra to the palm of their hands and convert it into pure light.

Essentially, it was a reusable flash bomb. Unfortunately, it also affected the user. One of the Clones had overloaded it accidently and blinded several surrounding Clones despite closing their eyes, so we had gone ahead and dipped into our thinning bank account to buy some powerful sunglasses to help with the lower levels of the Jutsu.

On the other hand (hah), generating so much light in the palm of one's hand also had the side effect of creating a lot of concentrated heat as well, which tended to cause intense burns in the user's hand, which was enough to pop the Clones. These two effects combined were probably why it was labeled a Forbidden Jutsu.

The trouble with these two was that, while I had no trouble getting chakra to stick to things, or converting it directly into kinetic energy, I didn't know how to use it to modify things or generate light with my chakra. I knew how to modify chakra constructs with the Transformation Jutsu, but not actual physical objects.

One of my Clones had saturated his saliva with chakra and had accidently made it so sticky that he couldn't open his mouth. That had been funny. Fortunately for him, without constantly adding for chakra, the effect had faded after a few minutes.

So, I had simply created around a hundred Clones and had them go to town trying to manipulate their chakra in every way they could imagine generating the desired effects. But, like the sticking effect, even after discovering how to do it, it needed a lot of training to do it consistently. That had especially been burned (hah) into my head after my Clones had blinded themselves with a Solar Flare. If I wasn't careful with my training, I could end up swallowing a mouthful of acid or blinding myself.

These two Jutsu had actually had some unexpected upsides. While we couldn't consistently generate powerful Solar Flares yet, it had become easy enough to generate low level lights, even if they did fluctuate rapidly sometimes. I knew that the Writing Clone got some use out of that when they were at work after the sunset and they were too lazy to turn on the lights.

As for the Acid Spit Jutsu…well, you couldn't teach me how to bestow effects onto regular objects and _not_ want me to experiment with it, right? One of the steps to modifying something was saturating it with so much chakra that you could shape the chakra inside it and the material would essentially be 'jerked' into the proper position. And what did that sound like to me?

Motherfucking alchemy, that's what!

Unfortunately, this talent didn't turn out to be anything like Alchemy from Fullmetal Alchemist, or even like Structural Analysis from Fate/Stay Night. Just because my chakra was saturating an object didn't mean that it provided feedback. After it exited my tenketsu, my chakra was infinitely harder to sense, though I did have enough of an awareness to manipulate it. That was probably why people had an easier time manipulating their aligned elements; while it was in the form of their respective element, they still had enough awareness of it that they could manipulate it on a finer scale.

Anyway, the best I could do so far with chakra modification was giving things a slightly different shape, deforming the blade of a kunai so that is was minutely curved rather than angular. Not much applicability.

Yet, at least.

Still, Acid Spit and Solar Flare were shaping up to be difficult to master, even for someone with my advantages. But that made sense; the reason that these Jutsu were forbidden was that the were hard to learn without killing yourself, or that they could kill you even if you _had_ learned them properly. I was essentially trying to get all of the upsides out of these Jutsu without any of the downsides. Still, I had time, and limitless manpower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Jump!"

"Do it!"

"We believe in you!"

"I don't, actually, but do it anyway!"

The wind swirled around my body, nearly knocking me over. It may have been due to the heights, but I could see the various Clones littering the ground making various hand gestures towards me that I could recognize as them generating wind. Assholes.

I was standing on a large outcropping of rock that was well over two stories above the ground, and despite the fact that my Clones had been climbing trees for what felt like months, the ground still swayed as I glanced over the edge and saw my tiny Clones littering the landscape.

Breath in…

Breath out…

"Jump, asshole!"

"Do a flip!"

You know what? Fuck it.

"Gerrrronimoooooooooo!"

The air whipped around my ears, and I squinted my eyes as they began to water. There was a delightful swooping in my stomach and a tingle of excitement that grew to encompass my entire body as nothing broke my fall and my body sped up.

_Splo~Ooo~shhshshshsh_

Cold slammed into me, and my ass was on fire. I was unable to stop myself from gasping, and water rushed into my mouth. The water itself would've been rather refreshing if it wasn't fighting to invade my lungs.

Then my head broke the water, and I spit out the water as quickly as possible. With that came a myriad of laughs that surrounded me, as well as clapping from the other clones. I wiped my hair out of my eyes and glared at them without any real malice. This had been my idea after all.

I was bobbing in the middle of The Great Naruto Lake, a place that we had discovered a few miles from the village. The lake's water was clean and clear, probably feeding from some sort of underground reservoir. It was situated at the bottom of a large cliff that ended in a featureless plateau at the top. The real treasure, however, was halfway up the cliff's face; a waterfall that fell into The Great Naruto Lake. Once we finally figured out how to use wind chakra properly, we could use it for the second stage of chakra training!

….Well, theoretically. We didn't have anything to stand on so that we could cut the waterfall. But we'd figure that out eventually.

Ducking my head under the water, I massaged my scalp to get rid of all of the sweat that had accumulated there since yesterday. Despite my resolution to take better care of this body, the thought of rubbing my hands all over it still made me want to squirm out of my skin. Thankfully, the impact of jumping in the lake was so harsh that it sometimes threatened to rip off a layer of skin, so I figured it was doing a decent job of washing my skin. Ayame had noted that I smelled better at least, so I figured it was working.

I'd probably have to man up eventually and get used to taking showers or baths the regular way, but considering how even going to the bathroom threatened to make me vomit, I still had a ways to go.

Finally, I swam to the edge of the lake and pulled myself out. The normally warm air was chilly against my soaked skin, but with a twist of chakra, a gust of wind dried my skin as well as any towel, and I pulled back on my clothing.

Seeing that the entertainment was over, the Clones slowly started going about their business once more. Many walked over to the lake and tentatively began doing their water walking exercises, while others began practicing the Substitution with as little chakra as possible. I was down to about an eighth of my normal chakra. The goal there was both to reduce the chakra need and to try and do it seallessly. It was slow going, but we would get there. While just a few weeks ago spending that much chakra on Clones would have knocked me out, now I could do it with minimal wooziness.

I wasn't sure whether it was just getting used to it, or whether I actually had more chakra now. I would need to figure out some way to monitor chakra levels at some point, but I had a feeling it was both.

There were other Clones milling about as well, going about their various duties. Some would do their performed duties and then switch to something else, trading with a different Clone. I knew that, without the imminent threat of Mizuki, it was hard to focus on just one thing like that for hours on end, and if they got too bored and listless their memories wouldn't do us any good, so it was better for them to keep 'fresh', so to speak.

As for me?

Well, even if I did get the memories from Clones, my body remained the same. Jutsu were invaluable, but that didn't mean I could neglect my physical prowess.

Like I had hypothesized earlier, Naruto's natural development would likely lie in speed over strength. I think even the manga noted that he would surpass his father in how quickly he could move. And if the Flash had taught me anything, it was that speed was invaluable.

Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I let out a burst of chakra into the wind, letting it soak into the air around me. Immediately feedback filled my mind and my skin felt like it was going to crawl off, but it was far more manageable than it had been the first time I had used it.

The tendrils of my chakra that were in the wind swirled around the clearing, brushing up against my Clones and making its way to the tree line. The wind in this area wasn't plentiful enough to provide full coverage like it did on top of the Hokage Monument, but it was enough. I took off towards the trees, eyes still firmly stuck.

_Bark and drifting leaves to the left, nothing right ahead._

I kicked up the speed, and disappeared into the forest. The faster I ran, the less time it gave me to process what information my wind sense gave me, but that was part of the fun.

_More bark and branches, rigHT IN FRONT._

Fighting against my forward momentum for a brief moment, I jumped off the ground, pushed off of another tree, and jumped back to the ground, stumbling but not totally breaking stride.

The wind whipped by me, and I had to pump out more chakra to keep a clear picture of what was around me. After a few minutes of my top speed, my legs began to burn, and sweat was being whipped away from my brow as I continued.

A grin grew on my face. There was nothing comparable to this back in my world.

Still, one had to slip up eventually…Though I would like to establish that it was not my fault.

Something brushed against the edges of my awareness, costing me a critical moment of focus. My right foot landed awkwardly, and I pitched forward, my arms going out to stop my fall. Thankfully, I was able to turn my fall into a roll to distribute momentum.

Less thankfully, that roll ended with my face ending up smashed into a tree.

Blinding pain as well as a soft sickening _crunch_ came to my attention. Tears immediately sprang to my eyes, and I pushed off of the tree to cradle my nose and wait for the pain to recede. Blood began to stream down from the inside of my nose into the back of my throat, making me gag and spit up the hot red liquid, splattering it onto the forest floor.

The pain distracted me from my wind-sense, but I could still hear leaves crunch underfoot as someone approached me. Then, I heard something else.

_Clap. Clap. Clap._

"Wow. That was really something." They drawled.

_Clap. Clap. Clap._

Oh great. Sarcastic clapping. That was _original_. If my vision hadn't been blurred with tears, and my mind not occupied with my broken nose, I probably would've rolled my eyes. I would've come up with some sort of devastating and witty retort, but with my nose like this I probably sounded like Squidward.

So instead, I occupied myself with silently screaming in my head. Couldn't I have one day in the forest without running into somebody?

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**Hey all my y'alls, I finally made it to ten chapters! Three cheers for that!**

**Dang, I didn't actually get around to much Jutsu experimentation in this chapter. Solar Flare and Acid Spit are Jutsu I'd been mulling over for awhile, and I have some fun ideas on how to put them to use.**

**Also, a little clarification on the section about writing: the conclusion that Arashi came to was to write his own version of the opening seasons of The Flash and Supergirl, the ones on CW. I wrote a fanfiction called Flip a Coin awhile back about a crossover between the shows, so he's going to actually make it so that his fanfiction in canon, at least in the Naruto Universe. For some reasons, that strikes me as super funny, so he's going to do it.**

**But, as with everything in this fic, nothing can be easy...**

**Also, just as a little hint for what's going to be coming up, consider this: Is there anything important that Arashi is forgetting?**

**Alright my beautiful readers, don't forget to FOLLOW, FAVRORITE, and REVIEW!**


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